Heart is broken re: my dog Kona

S

Shann

Joined
Sep 2, 2004
Messages
5,250
I am sitting here, crying like a baby, 5 days after I had to put down my precious little English Pointer Kona. She was 10. Every day I literally sang "You are my sunshine" to her. Thursday she was great, running around demanding biscuits and just being the best dog. Friday morning as I came down the stairs everything was changed. She fell as she tried to greet me. I had her at the vet a half hour later. By then she couldn't stand on her own. They xrayed her spine, nothing wrong and gave her steroids. Temp, etc. all normal but by now she was paralyzed from the neck down.

By Saturday morning she was even worse. Still had deep pain sensation but no movement at all. Could raise her head that was it. I couldn't get her into an mri in Albany or Burlington because of the holiday weekend. I took her to a Burlington neurologist who after an examination advised me to put her down. We talked about possibly taking her to Tufts in Boston or Cornell for an mri and possibly emergency surgery but we didn't. We put her down. I held her in my arms as she passed. Honestly its such a blur I can't even remember what all I was told about what had happened. No trauma. She had Lyme disease and had been on rimadyl for her back for the past 2 years.

I am beyond shattered. I have been crying and I am just so sad. If I wasn't at work she was with me. My wife is hurting really bad too, but she does a lot of things with friends, etc. I had Kona and she had me. We did everything from going to the dump, to just riding around. Now she is gone. I dread going downstairs in the morning without her to greet me. Even making dinner hurts; she was the dish cleaner and chief taster.

I know that it will be "okay" eventually but it will never be as good as it was. I know that a lot of people have suffered loss of children and spouse and I can't even imagine that pain. I can't believe that as a fully grown man with a wife and child I can be so sad over the dog.

Sorry for going over the top, but I just miss her so much.
 
I understand. The loss of a cherished dog/partner is a whole different sense of loss than losing a loved family member.

I learned a while ago that there is no explaining or justifying it. It hurts and all I can say is revel in the memories of Kona. Some of my best memories are of my old beagle and the trouble he would drag to our doorstep.

My condolences.
 
Sorry for your loss, it's never easy with pet as they become members of the family, you did the right thing and you were there for your friend, I've had to put down more than my fair share of pets and I've stayed with every one, till the end.

Eventually the memories go from bitter sweet to fond memories, it just takes time.
 
Hey Shann,
I lost my best friend a few years ago too... Rusty was supposed to be my first mate, I was going to buy a sailboat and we were going to sail near and far. That was before one day he wasn't interested in food anymore. My wife and I went through almost all of our savings trying to find out what was wrong but he just got weaker and weaker. I got to hold him, like you, the morning he was put down. I failed out of college that semester and if I didn't have such a great wife would have probably lost my marriage. It just hurt so bad... But there is good news, time does heal. We decided that after some time to get another pup... I couldn't bring myself to get another Golden like Rusty but settled on a Setter named Lou. Now Lou is no Rusty, probably not as bright and way naughtier, but I love him just the same. The way I look at it is, dogs don't get to live as long as we do so usually we are stuck with the pain we they die. It's part of owning a dog and part of life. You need to look back on all of the love you gave Kona during her life and think about how lucky she was to have you. The grieving process is part of saying goodbye. I wish you the best man, you have my sympathies, and remember that brighter days lie ahead, even though it doesn't feel like it right now.
 
Your Friend For Life

My life is likely to last 10 or 15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful.

Give me time to understand what you want from me. Do not break my spirit with your temper,
though I will always forgive you. Your patience will teach me more effectively.

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for your kindness than mine.
Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. I have only you.

Speak to me often. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me.
Your voice is the sweetest sound I ever hear, as you must know by my enthusiasm whenever I hear your footsteps.

Take me in when it's cold and wet. I'm a domestic animal and am no longer accustomed to the bitter elements.
I ask for little more than your gentle hands petting me. Keep my bowl filled with water. Feed me good food
so that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding. By your side, I stand ready, willing and able to share my life with you,
for that is what I live for. I'll never forget how well you treated me.

Don't hit me. Remember, I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something may be bothering me.
Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting weak.

Take care of me when I get old. For you will grow old too.

When I am old, or when I am no longer enjoying good health, please don't make heroic efforts to keep me going.
I am not having fun. Just see to it that my trusted life is taken gently. And be with me on that difficult journey
when its time to say goodbye. Never say "I just cant bear to watch" Everything is easier for me when you are there.
I will leave this earth knowing with my last breath that fate was always safest in your hands...... I love you.
 
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Thanks guys. I know that we all go through it. I read somewhere that dogs lived short lives because they loved so hard. I saw another thing where a little boy said he thought that people lived so long because they had to learn how to be good but dogs already knew.

FTR-14c I liked the part about talking to her. I always talked a lot to her. I said her name a lot. I figured that she had no idea what I was saying but heard her name and the tone of my voice. She talked back to me a lot too. Surprisingly foul language for such a nice little girl.
 
Hey buddy.. I know your pain to. I lost one of my Cockapoo's last fall . Died right in front of me on the kitchen floor. Probably cancer. It hurt's I know. To this day I still shed tear's for this dog. My wife too. It will get a bit easier. But it will always hurt.

Take care .. Try and feel lucky to have known her at all.
 
So sorry for your loss. It is never easy. Not when it is sudden nor when when it is gradual. Having carried a few to the truck for their last ride and making that trip, I know your pain all too real. The unconditional love you shared is one of our creators most precious gifts. It seems unfair to come around a corner and you swear you seem them briefly. Know that it will pass and you will make another dog a terrific companion. She would have wanted you to. God Bless,
 
Sorry to read about this. Take this as small consolation. Your dog must have realized how much you cared for her, I'm sure she had an amazingly happy life your family.
 
Been there and done that, no fun at all. Hopefully you will find another K9 friend before long.
 
So sorry to hear of your loss. I went through that twice recently myself, so I know how it feels. And I know nothing I say can take that away right now.

I miss and think of them every day. It does get better after a while but until then don't be afraid to grieve for her, she's earned it. Hang in there.
 
I was in your shoes at the end of February. My best friend of 10 years, a big lovable Golden Retriever/Lab mix had the same problem, but it came on a little more gradual over a couple weeks. He developed a lump in his spine and by the time I noticed it, he was having a very difficult time walking. He'd take a few steps and then collapse. His last night before the dreaded appointment, I took him for his last walk. I had a towel under his belly to support his weight so he could feel like a dog again, one last time.

I still bawl like a baby when I think about him, I am truly sorry for your loss, my Rusty died with his head in my lap, truly the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

Best of luck, I'm sure Kona was a fantastic dog, friend, and companion.
 
This sucks and I hate that you had to go through that. Losing pets, especially unexpectedly, is a huge blow that never fails to tear me up.
 
Sorry for your loss.....it's hard to have such good friends who don't have the same lifespan we do.
 
Shann, very sorry for your loss. I while back I went thru something similar, it wrecked me for a good while. Time will help lessen the pain of your loss and eventually you will be A-ok. Don't be afraid to get another furry friend when you feel ready... Anyone who feels as deeply as you do and cares as much will no doubt be a great pet parent. This world needs more of those :)
 
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