hehehe

fitzo

fitzo

Joined
Aug 14, 2001
Messages
6,648
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when

One day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings

The two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred

Blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty

Minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing....

The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to

Do it again?

He asks her. "Shall we?"

She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time,

I'll hold the pigeon down, and you "dookie*" on his head."

*Mark, I understand the need for a certain level of propriety around here, but this one just doesn't read right with "dookie" instead of "sh*t" ;)
 
Dang, all I had was dookie on the brain and I forgot crap.....

I'll remember that next time! Thank you, wise Master! :)
 
I thought it was a pretty crappie joke also. Boy are we showing our reserve around here or what. I may start going to church. I used to sing in the choir.
do re me la so fa te do!!!!!
 
Fred, can you believe that I was an altar boy? :D And before anyone asks, my priest was a drunk, not a pedophile.... :barf:
 
We may have attended the same church. I remember, vividly, my dad taking communion at Sunday mass, hung over from the late night uker party. I know when he and the priest eyed each other,over the chalice, they were wondering which one felt the worst. Fred
 
We always had to have two wine containers (dang, I forgot their name) and one water. We'd fill that chalice with wine, but if you tried to pour in more than a thimbleful of water that chalice would clang that crystal so hard you'd almost get it knocked out of your hand. :rolleyes:
 
fitzo said:
Fred, can you believe that I was an altar boy? :D And before anyone asks, my priest was a drunk, not a pedophile.... :barf:
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This reminds me of a joke my uncle told me. He was an altar boy, and one day the priest told him that when he sang "... and the angels lit the candles", he was supposed to come out and light the candles. Well, the priest got to the part of the hymn, where he sang, "... and the angels lit the candles." Nothing. He sang it again. Nothing. He sang it again, louder. And a small voice said"...and the cat pissed on the matches."

:D It sounds a lot better from him ;).

Fred.Rowe said:
We may have attended the same church. I remember, vividly, my dad taking communion at Sunday mass, hung over from the late night uker party. I know when he and the priest eyed each other,over the chalice, they were wondering which one felt the worst. Fred
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At least he was only drinking.
 
That's funny, Steve!

I was studying Catholicism (read: potential priest recruitment) under a priest in high school who suddenly renounced Holy Orders to marry a nun. Seems a little one was in the oven.... :rolleyes:
 
fitzo said:
Fred, can you believe that I was an altar boy? :D And before anyone asks, my priest was a drunk, not a pedophile.... :barf:
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Fatzo, did they make you study Latin???? I was a altar boy too, but I was ugly back then too, so the fagot priests didn't like me. HEHEHEHE!!!:eek: :eek:
 
hehehe..probably why they left me alone, too, IG! We keep trying to tell these people that butt ugly has it's advantages but they just won't listen. Maybe they'll understand now. :D

I had to memorize the responses for High Mass but I never studied Latin.
 
fitzo said:
*Mark, I understand the need for a certain level of propriety around here, but this one just doesn't read right with "dookie" instead of "sh*t" ;)
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ok he did say poop was OK :D
 
Dan Gray said:
ok he did say poop was OK :D
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yeap, we can poo, poop, dookie, or crap, we just can't ***t. :D

This reminds me of that scene in that "Caveman" movie with Ringo Starr.......
 
Can we use turd? If so, why are turds tappered? To keep your buttocks from slaming shut. Darn! that did not work well, either.

It reminds me of the story about the new guy that went to jail. The inmates weren't allowed to talk or tell jokes between cells. They did have an old book, that was full of one liner jokes that they passed around to each other. The new guy laying in his bunk at night would hear someone holler out; number 37!, the whole place would erupt in laughter. a little while later, things would quit down, then someone else would yell out with a number; 49! the place would crack up. The book finally got around to the new guy, he studied it, read all the jokes and one night when the numbers were flying, hot and heavy, he selected a joke that he thoought was really funny and yelled out the coresponding number, 11!. Not a peep was heard. He tried a different joke, different number. Nothing. He asked his cell mate what the problem was. Well, he said, some people can tell a joke and some people can't. he he :barf: Fred
 
Bigjohn said:
That settles it...... I got to get better friends...:D
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friends with beer is better :thumbup: :D


here you go fred common turd..:)
 

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Dan Gray said:
friends with beer is better :thumbup: :D


here you go fred common turd..:)
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A great specimen, Dan and kind of cute, in a wierd way. My mother used to say," you've got a face only a mother could love and I've got my doubts about that". That frase would apply here. That is directed at the turd, of course. I have never seen your mug. Fred
 
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