Heirloom (item) quandry

hhmoore

hhmoore

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Most (if not all) of us have seen, and/or used, the term heirloom - or heirloom item. It appears regularly on this very site, generally referencing a knife that is intended to be kept, and ultimately passed down to one's child.
What, though, of true heirlooms? I've got a number of items that have passed through 3 or more generations - the problem being that I long ago made the decision not to have children; so the line ends here. Sure, I could sell them...but that just doesn't feel right; and there's a pretty strong emotional attachment to some of them, as well. I could just leave provisions for them in my will (when I make one...an exercise that really doesn't serve a lot of purpose at this point); but that's just adding more to the pile for whoever has to deal with my stuff after I'm gone.
It could be that I find myself in a relationship with a woman with a son...but, at my age, it is unlikely that I will ever be considered a father; the result of which being that I'm not likely to feel close enough to justify passing these items along. And what if she has a daughter? Hope that she finds a husband I find worthy of the more male biased items?

I'm honestly not sure why I ended up with these thoughts today. Product of being overtired and having a b***h of a headache, perhaps. As far as I know, I'm not on death's door; so this isn't a pressing issue...but it merits serious consideration.

(At this moment, my plan is to keep them...hopefully having enough notice when my time comes to deal with them in whatever way I decide appropriate)
 
Pass them on if and when you feel the time and person comes.

If you die first, C'est la vie.
 
No nephews? Also I plan on leaving a particular rifle of my grandmother's to one of my nieces not my son. Neither one hunts; she just reminds me so much of my Gram. So meaning more than gender may play a role. Keep in mind that firearms in an estate can be tricky due to various laws about transfer, etc.

If the items are historically interesting (not necessarily valuable) you might consider donating them to a local historical society. Even if not really important, they might tell an interesting regional or local story. If just flat out selling them seems wrong, you could donate them or sell them and donate the money to your favorite charity. You may also find a time comes when you just want to downsize and then it will be the right time to sell.

The importance of a will for you may be just that broadly speaking your nearest blood relatives will get your belongings if you don't have a will. That may not matter to you but it could. With a will you can leave it to anyone. And you may be surprised and find someone you just "want" to give them to even if you don't have a father\son bond.
 
Is there no nephews or cousins with sons that you might find worthy to pass down to? I don't have kids and not sure that will be anything that happens in my life, I am ~35 so yeah, but I do have a nephew I would likely leave anything to that deserves to be passed down.
 
Are there any long time friends or co-workers that you would consider be-questing them to? If there are no other family members (as other have said, cousins, nephews, etc.) that would have an interest, and depending on what the items are, is there a local historical society or museum that might want them when "the time comes"?
 
No other family members.
Hard to say re: friends...I'm not exactly knocking on that door; and who knows what friends might still be around by the time I am.
I'll likely give away or sell some of the furniture pieces along the way, rather than have them end up in a yard (estate) sale. An 1849 Aston is one of the items that prompted this thread. The other is a (men's) ring. They came to me from different sides; and both are held dearly
 
Another non-breeder here, and I've thought about this a fair amount. I do have one niece, so there are likely some things that I would leave to her (maybe a guitar or two). I have several cousins on my Dad's side. I have a pocket watch that makes me the fourth generation to own. I'll most likely leave this to my oldest cousin (or his son).

For now, it's not a huge issue, as most everything else would be left to my girlfriend. We've been together for nearly 14 years, and have no plans to get married or have kids. She's 12 years younger than me, and odds are she'll outlive me. What she'd do with it all, I guess is a good question.
 
My great aunt used to say that you only truly own what fits in one canoe. If a thing has sentimental value, then you need to pass that value on, not the object. Either to a collector, or a museum, something like that if there is no family connection to it. If it's just stuff, or has monetary value, then make arrangements so that whoever gets it knows what that value is, otherwise, just leave behind the cash.

It might be harsh to say this, but the value is only there to you. I have a buddy who watched his family get destroyed by the process of picking over the "heirlooms" and watched as items with story to him were just sold off while others were left to rot because people didn't know what they had. While we often think of heirlooms as a great gift, they can be a white elephant as well, and it sucks to think that your memory could be tainted by the pain of having to decide to sell something that should be treasured, but no longer is. (or the fourth time they move that amazing bit of furniture from apartment to apartment)
 
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