- Joined
- Feb 15, 1999
- Messages
- 11,566
And you said that I speak funny.:jerkit::jerkit:
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the
south.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the
south.
4. If it grows, it'll stickya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha .
5. 'Oncet' and 'Twicet' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9.. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then
there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking
it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question,' Did you bring any
beer?'
17. You measure distance in minutes (sometimes hours).
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,
but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school
football.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national
holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin'
Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good
stew weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can
drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
31. If you understand these jokes, forward them to your Southern
friends and those who just wish they were from the south.
32. OR pass to a Yankee
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the
south.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the
south.
4. If it grows, it'll stickya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha .
5. 'Oncet' and 'Twicet' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9.. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then
there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking
it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question,' Did you bring any
beer?'
17. You measure distance in minutes (sometimes hours).
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,
but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school
football.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national
holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin'
Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good
stew weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can
drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
31. If you understand these jokes, forward them to your Southern
friends and those who just wish they were from the south.
32. OR pass to a Yankee
He goes off on this 20 minute diatribe that ended with, "Your !@#$! bugs scream all night, they bite all the time, you're plants tried to kill Chris (the other Brit that wandered into poison sumac) and it's hotter than the damn sun, I'm GLAD you have this place!!!!" Oh yeah, during the War of 1812 our unit chased them and almost killed them to a man on their way to New Orleans. 
