I wanted to add, it is interesting the difference in how women look at things and guys where "debt" is concerned, and they really don't understand the favor thing at all. While not every thing a buddy does for a buddy is a favor, when you're good friends you naturally do things to help out. but there are "favors" and women don't understand that to request one is to owe one, and all that entails. anyways, I know I've had to talk to my wife and female friends before when they are not understanding what they're asking for me to get done and what it involves, or when I am going to do something for somebody and they don't understand why.
I think a whole thread could be started just on the man rules regarding favors.
Red
Hey hey hey hey hey!!!! Don't be throwing all of us women in the same basket. However, I understand your point. Especially when the wife thinks that you should be happy to volunteer your services. Many women do feel "entitled" to free handyman service from male friends, 'cuz after all, they are just "a helpless female." That's B.S. But it works for them. They just don't realize how it bothers some men. On the other hand, there are also men who have no problem helping out women who don't know how to do standard repairs, etc.
20+ years ago, when I was taking care of my grandma, my best friend's husband was a handyman/electrician. There were times I needed something repaired at the house, so I would call him. I always expected to pay his standard rate. But my best friend would nag him and tell him he should do it for free and that really would get his dander up. I always paid.
My painter at work offered to paint my living room and kitchen a few weeks ago. He didn't expect to get paid. Afterwards, as I knew what he had charged a friend to paint 2of her rooms, I wrote him a nice thank you card and included the same amount inside. He walked into my office the next day with a huge smile on his face and thanked me. He had told me up front that he had stopped doing side work (he had), and he was bored on the weekends, so he didn't mind doing it. And that was all true. But my mama taught me to pay my own way in life.
Last weekend my boss came out and installed 4 motion detector lights and 2 porch lights (exterior had been repainted and light fixtures had been removed). Did I pay him? Heck no. We've been together for 22 years, and this is the first time I have ever asked him to come over and do handyman work. Actually, it was sort of HIS payback because during our first 10 years together, I used to dog-sit his dog for several weeks at my house while he and his family went fishing in Mexico. Every summer I did this. They always brought me back a nice thank you gift from Mexico - which was cool.
I even had a friend of mine on a monthly retainer to be my handyman. I paid him the daily rate that he charged. He painted the exterior of my house and did the repairs that went along with it. Whatever I needed done, he would take care of it. He kept the log of hours (I trusted him), and he received a check from my bank every month. AND... I paid him bonuses.
And I don't make a lot of money, so it wasn't like I am flush. I don't take advantage of people. Even if one of the maintenance guys at work fixes or makes some little thing for me (not coming out to my house), I always buy them a 12-pack of soda and a case of popcorn. But it is rare that I ask them to do anything for me, because I'm NOT their wife or girlfriend, and just because I work for the big boss, it doesn't entitle me to personal favors.
And if a female friend helps me out with something, I usually treat them to a nice lunch or dinner, because women usually won't accept money to help out a friend.
Just my opinion.
TJ
One good turn deserves another.
