How to cure a short tempered dad....

[cj65]

I tend to get short fused on the usual, "Clean your; mess, room, clothes, dishes" etc. As well as acting as referee, judge, jury, detective, consultant, advocate, coach, teacher etc. I found my task miserable at best for a spell, and my wife as well. We ended up being mad at each other from a situation that arised between her's, mine, and ours.

Last week Wed through Friday, I went on a field trip with my stepson who is in 4th grade. It is a CA history field trip, and we went to San Francisco, Coloma (Sutter's Mill-Gold Rush) and Sacramento to the capital. I have 4 step children and custody of my twin boys. Their ages are 13,13,12,11,10 and a step daughter 19 who is out of the house Whooo hoooo!


OK, back to the field trip.....

Each kid went with a parent, father or mother. There was just enough time during meals, and free touring time to talk with the other parents of my son's friends. I found out that other kids still wet the bed at these ages, other kids are getting bad grades, and I witnessed down right bratty behavior that my kids would not dare set foot in regards to disrespecting their parents. I also was able to listen to fathers complain about their wife, which I have no complaints at all of mine. I have a great wife. God gently gave me a message to lighten up.

It was a real eye opener to realize that none of my kids are really all that bad. I saw some real spaz cases. I guess finding out that other parents have it way harder than I do, makes it that much easier to tolerate. It was a slow journey to my madness, and a quick revelation to realize that I need to back off, and cut my kids some slack. My wife has noticed a difference in me, and I have too. So, this is for all the parents who still have kids in the house, and feeling short fused. I want to say that there is hope. There are kids worse than yours, try to take it easy, and enjoy them, for hopefully they will leave one day, only to visit for a spell.


Panning for gold is quite addictive, and even fun to pick out the fool's gold in the pan and save it for a souvenier. I will be back to the American River.
CJ

 

[Mack]

Good lessons there Chris.
It's a great reminder for those with short fuses like me.

 

[hoopster]

Nice reminder. I have a 3 1/2 year old boy and a 5 month old girl. They can wear me thin at times but I wouldn't trade this ride for anything.

 

[Esav Benyamin]

Sometimes the best way to deal with an obstreperous child is to laugh at them. They may even get mad (that's the idea, they were trying to get mad before) but it keeps you relaxed, and you can deal with the situation if you're relaxed.

Don't laugh at your wife!

 

[Phydeaux]

CJ,

Sounds like you and your wife have been doing a great job raising the kids.

One of the things we taught our kids about is how we expected them to behave in public settings when they were young. This made if easy and a lot of fun to take them places, even just running errands. My son (12 years old) still likes tagging along with me to the grocery store.

We were in the local supermarket and heard a kid having a tantrum. My son looks at me and says "Aren't you glad I don't act like that?" I gave him a hug and said "If you did, I wouldn't even think of bringing you to the store with me."

On another note, I had the chance to take him for a day raft trip down the south fork of the American river. It was blast. Just another fun thing to do in that area. If you are interested in rafting up there, I have a friend who runs a rafting company on the American River.

Ric

 

[cj65]

Thanks Ric,

I sent you an email......