How to start a house fire while taking pictures!!

Eich1911

Search "Kyle Eichenseer" before dealing with me.
Joined
Sep 13, 2001
Messages
253
Man I feel like an idiot, as I sit here wating for my pictures to transfer from the camera to the computer.

Step one. When taping your background into your light box, make sure to only use just a very small ammount of tape.

Step two. Make sure to put your 650 watt tungsten light in the lightbox, without a guard protecting the bulb.

Step three. Leave the light on for a good ammount of time so its about 400 deg in the light box.

Step four. Make sure that the tape you used in step one is not very sticky, and looses its stickyness entirely during your photo shoot.

Step five. When the tape fails make it drop your backdrop directly on the 650 watt tungsten bulb that you left unprotected.

Step six. When the fire starts instanly, keep calm. Remove the knife first!!!! Then deal with ripping the rest of your now buring towle out of your lightbox.

Step seven. Turn you lights off, then ripp the burning background out of your lightbox.

Step eight. Toss the now burning dish towle onto the ground. Important part of this step. You must be in the garage.

Step nine. Run into the house and grap a cup of water. You could use the fire extinguisher at this point, but who wants all that white crap all over the place?

Ok now that you can set a house fire with the best of them, look at the photos you took right before the fire.

Well the photos suck, so go get another soon to be on fire dish rag and try again.
Did I mention I feel like an idiot??
Kyle
 
You've convinced me NOT to upgrade my photo lab. Flash and the rug will do just fine.

It's funny stuff and I'm pleased you had the guts to post it.
 
Kyle = LOL!!:D

How about this one:

Step 1. Try to cook a fancy meal

Step 2. Use all the burners on the stove

Step 3. Burn you arm/hands every time you touch the stove because you're too clumsy and can't reach all the pots at once.

Step 4. Time everything perfectly so that all the pots are done at the same time making it 100% likely that something is going to burn.

Step 5. Furiously try to remove everything at once using up all available hotpads.

Step 6. Now that you've run out of hot pads, grab the nearest dish towel to remove the pots.

Step 7. Be sure to let the dish towel flop around on the burners while you're trying to remove the pans - this is crucial!

Step 8. After the towel AND your arm AND your shirt catch fire, run to this sink to put it out - except that you filled the sink while cooking.;)

Step 9. Run around the house looking for some way to put out the fire that is now reaching your head!

Step 10. Dive into bathtub filled with used bathwater - used by a baby BOY.

Well...now I know exactly what to do next time!!:D:D

Dan
 
LOL!!

I still remeber the time I was about 7 or 8. My sister tells me to go take the pan she was using to cook on, off the stove. Well I touch the handle and say (to my self) hmmm this is still hot. Get a rag to hold it. Well needless to say the burner was still on, and I set a fire with the rag.

I see a trend me and dish rags do not mix.

Today I just singed a few arm hairs. Noting big considering what could have happend.
I found the reason for the fire. The book I was using to prop the knife up was Helter Skelter so old chuckie must have put the mojo on me.

Ok now I sit here wating for the second set of pics to upload. Lets see how these turn out.

Oh and forgot one step in the process. Make sure you have the power coard from you camera blocking the door to the kitchen to get the water to put the fire out with. That way the blaze really gets going by the time you get back.
 
Step 1: Turn on the video camera. Stuff this good should be recorded.

Did I ever tell you about the time I opened the vent on my gasoline camp stove while it was lit and pressurized. My hand and sleave turned into a nifty tourch. Fortunately, my buddies were there to attack the fire with everything on hand. Unfortunately, that included an interesting blend of coffee, pasta, oatmeal, juices, and even a little water. BTW, I wouldn't recommend opening the vent on a lit gasoline stove; it creates an instant flame thrower aimed directly at you. :rolleyes:

n2s
 
Kyle = BTW, your avatar looks great! Well done!
 
Here's a slip up i got to fix b4 it was a real prob:

1. Go camping in the Nat'l forest, where guns are permitted.

2. Show new Ruger P-90DC .45 to friends.

3. For safety, clear chamber, lock open, and remove clip.

4. When you pass the clear weapon, lean far enough over the fire that the clip falls into the fire.

5. While everyone gets ready to run, quickly reach in and retrieve clip, (which was a bit warm).

Averted disaster by acting before thinking, got lucky. no rounds cooked off, didn't have a chance to. However, when someone else tells the story, they tell steps 1-4, leaving off the rest for truly dramatic effect.

--Keith
 
Bill,
You need to upgrade my friend.
Just think of how much fun you can have setting fire to the rug!!!
 
:D

I can see why photography can be so exciting...

Me, I only managed to set my neighbour's yard on fire once. Funny, he hasn't asked me for gardening help ever since.

Andrew Limsk
 
Originally posted by redvenom
I can see why photography can be so exciting...

Oops! Is that what this thread was about? :rolleyes:

If so, here's another story.

We were testing one of the lamps used in WWII to take aerial photographs over Europe. The Tech put too much juice to it and POW! the flash went off and completely incinerated the sleeve off his shirt!! :eek: :eek:

A few of us had to sit down for a few minutes to recover.

Yikes!!
 
My friend used to have a little Porsche 914. It was summer so we had the top off. Just as we were leaving the parking lot, smoke started pouring out around my legs.

Oh crap...my a$$ is on fire!!!

Just as flames were starting to seep around the seat edges, I punched out. Bet he never knew he had an ejection seat! :D My friend said he never saw anyone jump so high from a seated position.

Turns out some wiring under the seat shorted out and the seat filling caught fire. We yanked the seat out and got it under control before his whole car went up in flames.

Good thing we weren't going faster...with flames around my dangly bits, I probably would have punched out then too.

So far no fires around the house though.

BTW Eich...I like the lanyard thingie on your AR.
 
Was about to say "been there, done that", Dan. Until I got to the sleeve bit. I think you got me beat.

S.

PS. There are a bunch of us in the DC/NOVA/Baltimore area. You want to think about putting together a mini-khukvention?
 
Originally posted by spence
PS. There are a bunch of us in the DC/NOVA/Baltimore area. You want to think about putting together a mini-khukvention?

I think you're on to something here...

I would love to go. I don't have the resources at my place, but I would be happy to do the cooking, etc. (of course, I'm posting this on the burn-your-house-down thread...so, you may want someone else!:D:D)

Dan
 
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