How to write good

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May 17, 2002
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Always avoid alliteration.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Avoid clichés like the plague - they're old hat.

Employ the vernacular.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Contractions aren't necessary.

Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.

One should never generalize.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.

Avoid archaeic spellings too.

Understatement is always best.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

One word-sentences? Eliminate. Always!

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice should not be used.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors -- even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.

Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.

Never use a big word where a diminutive alternative would suffice.

Subject and verb always has to agree.

Be more or less specific.

Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.

Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispelling and to catch typograhpical errers.

Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.

Don't be redundant.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Don't never use no double negatives.

Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Eschew obfuscation.

No sentence fragments.

Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.

A writer must not shift your point of view.

Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!

Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

Always pick on the correct idiom.

The adverb always follows the verb.

And always be sure to finish what
 
Definitely some good tips on writing good.
 
I write like I talk, if I were writin' for a livin' I'd probably be a little more concerned but I'm not, so I ain't.

In a past life/job I was a technical writer for operation and repair manuals for the semi-conductor industry.

Now I don't have to maintain that level of writing, so there. :p
 
That list was stoopendeous, and really great to. I haven't never seen, some of those rules. Thankx!!!
 
Once again, Lake Superior State University banishes the old year's worst words, clunkiest cliches, and politically hacked phrases.

Lake Superior State University 2005 List of Banished Words

BLUE STATES/RED STATES – Who’s who, anyway? “I remember when I was a kid and Georgia was purple,” says Peter Pietrangelo, Sault Ste. Marie, Mich. “A good map has more than two colors.”

FLIP FLOP/FLIP FLOPPER/FLIP FLOPPING – They belong at the beach, not in a political dialogue.

“Republicans used it; Democrats used it back. Flip-flop back and forth it goes.” – Jeff Lewis, Ada, Mich.

BATTLEGROUND STATE – “During an election, every state is a battleground.” -- Austin White, West Hartford, Conn.

“Did it mean Bush and Kerry would go toe-to-toe?” – Evan Cornell, Ligonier, Penn.

“… AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE” – Received the most nominations of the words and phrases that came out of the presidential election. From political ads to auto parts…

“What started in political ads is spiraling out of control.” – Jim Blashill, Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.

“I’ve heard three local car commercials where the morons use that phrase!” – John Venezia, Colorado Springs, Colo.

“Would a political candidate approve a message they did not agree with?” – John Gorsline, Albuquerque, NM.

“I’m Kristina and I approve this nomination.” – Kristina, Granite City, Ill.

POCKETS OF RESISTANCE – “Are we talking about someone not buying a round of drinks or people shooting at each other?” – Rob of Crawley, West Sussex, UK.

“Sounds like someone having trouble pulling their hands out of their pants pockets.” – Joe Hutley, Las Vegas, NV.

IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE – As opposed to what used to be referred to as a bomb or mine.

“Is this anything like a bomb or is it more (or less) sinister?” – Harold Blackwood, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.

ENEMY COMBATANT – “Makes no sense. Do we have friendly combatants? Neutral combatants? Or how about enemy bystanders? If they are your enemy, just say so.” – Bill Sellers, Hampton, Va.

CARBS – low carbs, high carbs, no carbs, carb-friendly…

Meant ‘carburetor’ in a previous life. Needs to be purged from our system.

“You’re not fat because you eat bread; you’re fat because you eat too much!” – Emily Price, Norfolk, Va.

“What’s the point of low-carb beer? A person that concerned about ‘carbs’ shouldn’t even be drinking beer.” Roger Briskey, Orlando, Fla.

YOU’RE FIRED! – “…and the little hand movement, too!” – Jason Ranville, State College, Penn.

One nominator suggested that to say it would soon constitute a trademark infringement.

ÜBER – Nominated by many over the past few years, including Paul Freedman, Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.

“Since when has this become a prefix for everything? That’s über-rific!” – Lolina, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.

“…Everything that is big, amazing, unique is described as über.” – Sue, Colorado Springs, Co.

‘IZZLE’ – SPEAK – By far, the abomination that received the most nominations. Some sort of ‘Rap-Latin’ suffix, as in fa’shizzle, which means ‘for sure.’

“It was clever for about five minutes, or should I say five ‘minizzles?’” – R. Glover, Waterford, Mich.

Derek Hogan of Misssissauga, Ontario, said it was cool when a rapper came up with it a few years ago, but now it’s over-used and is even being used in television commercials.

“Like Superbowl excesses, it is too much of too much,” – Daniel Baisden, Savannah, Ga.

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION – “Janet Jackson’s bodice did not ‘malfunction,’” says John Wetterholt, Woodstock, Ill. “Justin Timberlake pulled too much and too far and I could hear the cogs turning in his publicist’s head trying to come up with that excuse!”

“It wasn’t the wardrobe’s fault!” – Jane Starr, Edmonton, Alberta

“Sure to be this generation’s Watergate, misapplied to all situations both imaginable and not so.” – David Edgar, Sydney, Australia

BLOG – and its variations, including blogger, blogged, blogging, blogosphere. Many who nominated it were unsure of the meaning. Sounds like something your mother would slap you for saying.

“Sounds like a Viking’s drink that’s better than grog, or a technique to kill a frog.” Teri Vaughn, Anaheim, Calif.

“Maybe it’s something that would be stuck in my toilet.” – Adrian Whittaker, Dundalk, Ontario.

“I think the words ‘journal’ and ‘diary’ need to come back.” – T. J. Allen, Shreveport, La.

WEBINAR - for ‘seminar on the web.’ “It’s silly. Next we’ll have a Dutch ‘dunch’ … bring your own lunch for a digital lunch meeting.” – Karen Nolan, Charlotte, NC.

ZERO PERCENT APR FINANCING – sending a dollar to do a nickel’s worth of work. Michael Hehn, Ferrysburg, Mich. “They could just say ‘no interest.’

SAFE AND EFFECTIVE – “Try the new, clinically proven, safe and effective wonder drug you never knew you needed.

Safe and effective should not be a selling point, it should be an FDA requirement!” CW Estes, Roanoke Texas.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION – Do we need to hear about it daily on TV and radio, even on racecars? Firmly rejected by the committee. “Too much information!” Carolyn Jamsa, Chillicothe, Ill.

JOURNEY – “Every single person on every reality show comments on how amazing the ‘journey’ was.

Since when does dating a dozen nerds over a six-week span or conniving to win a million dollars over 15 other people qualify as a ‘journey’”? – Cindy, Victoria, British Columbia.

BODY WASH – “Also known as ‘soap.’” -- Ray Hill, Jackson, Mich.

SALES EVENT – “Year-end sales are now ‘sales events.’ Now most have shortened it to ‘event.’ Does the sale exist any longer?

‘Hey, nice new Chevy, Bob!’ ‘Thanks, it was on event at the dealer last week.’” – Allan Dregseth, Fargo, ND.

ALL NEW – referring to television shows… “Of course it’s all new. Why can’t they just say ‘new’? There are no partially-new episodes, no repeat of last Tuesday’s episode with a slightly reworked Act 2.” – Greg Ellis, Bellevue, Wash.

AND MORE! – The merchants way of giving you something “value added.”

“Every merchant offers carpets, flooring and more. Can we envision baskets, caskets and more? Need I say less?” – Ray of Willard, Ohio.

“Goods and services no longer have limits! Everything marketed can be something else! ‘It’s a hamburger meal, but it’s much, much more…It’s a time machine, too!” – Mark of Kanata, Ontario.

LSSU accepts nominations for the List of Banished Words throughout the year. To submit your nomination for the 2006 list, go to www.lssu.edu/banished.
 
Hmm... sounds like the Dilbertian rules for an executive summary:
if you want to sound positive - oxygen is good
if negative - carbon dioxide is bad

TLM
 
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