I need some help rat packers

B

ben2002gsxr

Joined
Nov 10, 2009
Messages
692
hello guys #444 here.

Please cheer me up.... My best friend totaled my motorcycle while i was on vacation, and he his now in critical condition... I am on my way down to the hospital to see him today. His parents are going to get me in because they want me to talk to him. they think my voice could help him pull through but if not i need to say good bye.

Heres what i need from you guys right now. i need a pick me up, some jokes, positive words, a prayer, pictures of any kind. just fill this thread up with positive things to keep my mind off all this crap.

Please dont talk about or speculate about the accident in this thread, if you absolutely need to know about it there is a thread in wine&cheese on here, or you can email me about it. other wise start bringing the pics and jokes!!!! thanks guys!
 
After reading I said a prayer for you and your friend. Sorry, I'm not much of a jokester so I can't really help you with a quick chuckle. I will keep you guys in my prayers though.
 
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
 
Both of these made me laugh recently, I hope they do the same for you.

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T. Erdelyi said:
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
Click to expand...

Reminds me of the two old ladies who saw a nude guy running down the street. One had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.
jDrex said:
25905_1340150116696_1619463010_8139.jpg

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Click to expand...

I think I was at that party! It looks like April 1 2009
 
Our prayer go out to you and your friend.

When you talk to him tell him he looks great and ask him what the other guy looks like. that always works for me.

The main thing is he needs to hear your voice.Talk to him just like you always did .

Hawkeye
 
T. Erdelyi said:
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
Click to expand...

The next evening, the same two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in their rocking chairs talking.

One turns to the other and asks, "Emma, how long were you and Henry married?"

Emma says, "My Henry and I were married for 53 years."

They rock in their chairs a few more minutes, and then the first old lady asks, "In all that time did you and Henry ever have mutual orgasm?"

Emma stops rocking in her chair and thinks for a few minutes and then says, "No, I think we had State Farm."
 
How is boxing related to music? If you don't C-Sharp, you will B-Flat.


What do you call a cow with only 2 legs? Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

What do you call a cow who has just given birth? De-calf-feinated.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh.

Two Hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. One looks to the other and says, I think I just dropped an electron." His buddy asks, "Are you sure?" He replies, "Yes, I'm positive!"
 
- A day without sunshine is like...night.

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

- On the other hand, you have different fingers

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

- Remember, half the people you know are below average.

- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

- OK, . . . . so what's the speed of dark?

- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

- Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

- Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

- Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
 
a life lived with chains is a life not worth living...i read your whine & cheese post and i hope you won't be held liable for any of your friend's actions (highly likely). with that said whatever happens he was free to do whatever he wanted to do and he crashed doing exactly what he wanted...a lot of our fellow men and women have fought & died for that right that he enjoyed.

i've done some really stupid things in my life including a high-speed crash while...um...a cop was going in the same direction at the same time...but i only received a reckless driving ticket (i'd rather not go into details), "student visa" russian strippers from brooklyn (sweetness...pics to follow) and hanging out with the wrong crowd and all that so i can relate...guys will do what guys do. at the end of the day (whether we're 20 yrs old or 80) as long as we think we've lived our lives to the fullest that's all that matters!

people say "oh, he was only 20" or 30, 40, 70, 80...300 yrs old. f&*% that! i can honestly say at 31, i feel like i've lived through 80+ yrs of fun and crazy times! would you rather have it the other way around?!?

if you disagree, it's not too late - you have some living to do and i can help you! i freelance as a life appreciation adviser at a rate of a junglas per hour :eek::D

...i hope your friend pulls through and continue to live a crazy, fun-filled life all the way to retirement and beyond :thumbup: honestly, others can take the alzheimer's, arthritis, viagra dependecy, etc. for me.
 
I went fishing this weekend, but after a short time I ran out of bait.

Then I saw a cotton-mouth water moccasin snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
 
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