If Jeff Foxworthy sharpened

T

thombrogan

Joined
Nov 16, 2002
Messages
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You know you're a sharpening nut if:

You've cut yourself with your waterstones more times than with your knife

Watching ragging cuts on television or seeing them in knife magazine causes a gut-churning reaction

You don't care if you've out an edge so much that moderate use causes chipping because (A) you'll fix it and (B) how well it cuts before that chipping totally justifies the inevitable risk

You see most every knife as a 'consumable' the way other people might view sandpaper or foam paintbrushes

You've quoted Cliff, yuzuha, HoB, and Jeff Clark to your non-knifeknut friends

You've ever used the belt-sander to put a polished edge your lawnmower blades.

You've ever bragged about how much better your lawn looks since your "Hossomized" your mower blades

What are your examples?
 
thombrogan said:
You know you're a sharpening nut if:

Watching ragging cuts on television or seeing them in knife magazine causes a gut-churning reaction

You don't care if you've out an edge so much that moderate use causes chipping because (A) you'll fix it and (B) how well it cuts before that chipping totally justifies the inevitable risk

You see most every knife as a 'consumable' the way other people might view sandpaper or foam paintbrushes

You've ever used the belt-sander to put a polished edge your lawnmower blades.
Click to expand...

Guilty as charged, at least on these examples. Heck, I even touch up my lawnmower blades every time I use it, but I don't bother with the belt sander every time. I just flip it over (push mower) and give 'em a couple swipes with a fine toothed file. (draw filing) My lawn generally looks like crap anyway like any proper redneck, but I can practically run across even tall thick grass without bogging down the motor. If the blades get dull, it takes me twice as long to mow the yard since I have to go slower.
 
I have a set of Arkansas stones that stay on the coffee table.
A set of water stones that stay in the kitchen.
And out in the shop I have a sharping area with everything, India,oil,water,ceramic,diamond.
In my work bag I have a aluminum oxide glued to the back of a hard Arkansas.
And I keep a ceramic in my pocket.
 
Last Thanksgiving - I was carving the turkey and it was falling apart.Host asks "what's wrong is the knife dull ?" "My knife is never dull, you overcooked the turkey !!" ....My cousin visited .Seeing some abrasive paper and pocket magnifier in the kitchen, she asked "what's that ? " "To sharpen my knives with ! " She had a puzzled look on her face !!
 
When you try to sharpen a dull steak knife on the bottom of a coffee cup in a crowded restaurant and your wife begs you to stop embarrassing her.:o
 
Its a true story. It really bugged me to stop before I got it sharp. I use the file on my leatherman squirt under the table now. I just hope no one sees my arm going up and down under the table and suspects the worst.:D
 
Even though our yard is 3 acres I am guilty of:
" You've ever used the belt-sander to put a polished edge your lawnmower blades."
 
I'm fond of Foxworthy, I've even read his book. I was thinking over a list of answers to this question and this one came to mind:
--If you've ever been accused of smelling like rust on a hot day...you might be a "rustneck".

That's me, I admit it, I am a Rustneck. I have been for over 40 years. I used to grind so much metal in my bedroom that the dust shorted out the TV set.

So here are some of mine:

--If you always sharpen new knives...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have ever been involved in a debate over edge deburring techniques..you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have ever triggered a flame war about how to measure sharpness...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have ever started a sharpening feud...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have a favorite method for sharpening swords, brush hooks, sickles, icepicks, and coat hangers...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have ever sharpened a reel-type mower with a file...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have over a pound of steel dust around your honing spot...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have ever sharpened a hone...you might be a Rustneck.

--If your EDC assortment includes a hone...you might be a Rustneck.

--If your diamond grit collection extends down to 0.1 micron...you might be a Rustneck.

--If the Shapton factory calls to invite you whenever they plan a demo in your state...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you hone knives while waiting for your morning bread to toast or your coffee to warm in the microwave...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have to hide the afformentioned activity from your wife...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you spend more time selecting and packing hones for your vacation than you do shirts...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have ever searched ebay to find antique razor hones...you might be a Rustneck.

--If people expect you to bring along hones when you are invited to dinner...you might be a Rustneck (particularly if this only cements your friendship).

--If you give away sharpening tools to casual acquaintences...you might be a Rustneck.

--If friends bring you razor blades to sharpen...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have a large kitchen drawer full of hones and it is just a fraction of your collection...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you have more than a dozen tools for sharpening serrated edges (and you hardly own any serrated blades)...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you buy knives just to see how well they will sharpen and then discard or give them away after honing...you might be a Rustneck.

--If you drive around with a spare belt sander in the trunk of your car...you might be a Rustneck.

And finally--

--If it takes you more than an hour to contribute to this thread and you have barely scratched the surface...you are definitely a RUSTNECK!
 
Jeff's a rustneck!

I do edc a Spyderco Double-stuff, but that doesn't count because it doesn't remove much steel.

If you know more about how a knifemaker sharpens than about his or her blades (i.e. "He makes knives?! That's cool to know)...

If you think a knife with a deeply scratched up blade is pristine because its 0.2mm wide microbevel is highly polished...
 
If you squeeze in the word convex in every post you can because you think flat is talked about too much... You might be...
:)
 
I really laughed hard about the 'hiding the aforementioned activity from your wife' one. Thanks for that.

I suppose as kids you were pretty unruly in school, thinking you'd get the strop instead of the strap...
 
If you grab the knife out of your wife's hand while she is preparing dinner to sharpen it because seeing her cut with a suboptimal edge is driving you nuts, you might be a rustneck!! lmao she thought I had lost it for several days at that point.
 
When making a salad is exciting but making a PBJ sandwich is a chore... YMBARN.:p
Mike
 
if your idea of the perfect conclusion to a long saturday is the front porch, a cold beer, a knife that needs some work, your favorite sharpening tools, and a view of your freshly manicured lawn and stack of perfectlyl split wood.
 
If you used your EDC to dissect a frog in high school, because it was sharper than the scalpel they gave you...

If the teacher, at a later date, asked to borrow your knife...

If you have scars you've shown off to other knife-knuts...

If the friends you've sharpened knives for, willingly pay for it next time...

If they look sheepish when you gently remind them not to drag the edge sideways across their cutting board and promise not to do that anymore...

If your woman complains that her kitchen knives are TOO sharp and kind of frighten her...

If she brags to her friends about it...

If edge-testing is hobby unto itself...

I must have missed it somewhere.... 'cuz I can't believe no one said, "If your forearms and ankles are bald!"
 
I often smoke one of those long stemmed clay pipes. The unglazed ceramic of that long stem makes a nice touch up rod for impromptu sharpening. I feel a joke in there somewhere, about being able to smoke your sharpener or something, but I'll leave that to your imaginations.
 
-If you can't decide between rolling your own cigarettes or smoking a clay pipe because you want rolling papers to test your edges and a clay pipe to sharpen your edges, you may be a rustneck.

-If the stab wound on your finger heals quicker than the booboo caused with a 4000 grit waterstone on that same finger, you may be a rustneck.

-If Bill at Japan Woodworker, Keith at Hand American, Ben and Sierra at Edge Pro, Drew at Epicurean Edge, and Harrelson at Shapton USA all recognize the sound of your voice and can guess your order before you place it, you may be a rustneck.

-If your local veterinarian asks you to sharpen the necropsy knives of colleagues from other states or countries, you may be a rustneck (and named Dwade).

-If you move from 'tree-topping' to 'hair-splitting' sharp more because you ran out of arm hair than because it was the next level of skill, you may be a rustneck.

-If you argue against convex edges being over-hyped even though most of your sharpest knives have them, you may be a rustneck.

-If you have every sharpening tool you need to get equally spooky-sharp edges from freehanding or a guided system, but still go out and order some Shaptons just in case...
 
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