If knives could talk.......

Ironman

Ironman

Joined
Aug 16, 2002
Messages
402
I wonder if tacticals would spout out military style words and always be wanting to go on some mission or keep telling stories of "if some guy came at me I would flip open and....". I wonder if slipjoints would talk like an old man, slow and deliberate, nothing fancy, just the facts.
I wonder what my great granddads old slippie would say about it's life...
I wonder what my dad's combat knife would say.....
What kind of stories I bet an old sword could tell!
What do you think knives would say, if they could? Maybe they do, and we just don't know. Ever picked up a knife and had a certain feeling associated with it for an unknown reason?
 
Well, Terry Pratchett's Kring (see Color of Magic book) is good example why weapons shouldn't talk :)
 
I really like the idea or this thread...hmmm I wonder what my knives would say?

I can't even begin to imagine.
 
I hope my knives aren't gossiping with one another that my butt smells since I carry them in my back pocket.
 
Ironman said:
I wonder if tacticals would spout out military style words and always be wanting to go on some mission or keep telling stories of "if some guy came at me I would flip open and....". I wonder if slipjoints would talk like an old man, slow and deliberate, nothing fancy, just the facts.
I wonder what my great granddads old slippie would say about it's life...
I wonder what my dad's combat knife would say.....
What kind of stories I bet an old sword could tell!
What do you think knives would say, if they could? Maybe they do, and we just don't know. Ever picked up a knife and had a certain feeling associated with it for an unknown reason?
Click to expand...

I think their owners do all the talking for them. :rolleyes:

Of course, they may be talking about US. I don't want to hear my knives complaining I left superglue on it, that I keep it in a dark box, or sold it into servitude to a teenager bent on learning knifethrowing with folders.

How about the knife porn avatars on some forums . . . ewwww. (Yeah, I know what smiley some of you would have put here.)

Let's not lock this thread up or move it, ok?

Most knives would just have a story of how overpriced they were for the lack of real use - getting carried around all day with nothing to do but see daylight for a few seconds to cut a box open before some nonuser screamed "IS THAT A WEAPON?!?" and the user retorts "It came with my Dad's Y-chromosone."

Oookay, I'm not helping . . .
 
I can just imagine what my carry knives are saying when they are packed away in my checked luggage under the plane instead of riding on my person.
 
You guys are wierd. I must moved my knife off of the nightstand and put it in a drawer. What will they talk about? ;)

sal
 
My knives are probably plotting to maim and reshape my body after all the horrible experimentation and customization I’ve done.
 
I have an idea that most of our knives would have a lot less to say than some non-knife educated person's EDC which is used for EVERYTHING. Mine would be pretty darned bored, with the exception of a small handfull, and those ones would definitely be bad-mouthed by the rarely carried. I can definitely say they would express their desire to be used more. Very few of mine have ever seen anything close to exciting, so I guess I don't really want to hear what they have to say. It might make me feel like I'm not doing enough with my life.

Now, if my computer could talk... I'd have to put a gag order on it.

Daniel
 
Hey, I know that name...

Just realized I posted in your thread.

Look for an email...

Daniel
 
"Stop putting me in your pocket, it's dark and it smells and those damg metals disc things keep scratching me!"
 
Mine keep saying ha ha got him again, this time I think he's gonna need stitches. That and they are all jealous of my endura, why does she get to stay with him night and day in his pocket and we just sit here in this drawer. My Beckers just sit there yelling USE ME ABUSE ME COME ON I DARE YOU TO TRY AND BREAK ME. And my FS "letter opener" just sits there quietly whispering "when you need me remember thumb on the blade strike upward"
 
my cheap old folders would be constantly begging me to stop tearing them apart and "customizing" them into little piles of scrap.

my little slippie would be complaining about being dragged through a puddle of spit on my hone once a week.

my big ugly (homemade) fixed blade beater type would wish i would put a real handle on him, instead of a stupid cordwrap right onto the tang.

my cheap folding beater i just got (as a gift) would wish for me to stop flicking him open and closed to loosen up the lock a little (probably in some chinese or indian dialect of some sort)

i can't imagine what my hackysack would say to me...
 
Great comments!
I wonder if the Benchmade blue class is snobby to the red boxes?
Does Spyderco and kershaw let the CRKT boys into the club?
 
Listen: I carry my folders inside my waistline, right-hand side, clip outside my pants but under my belt. Think of these knives as they sit in their glass cases, looking up at the top of my folder sticking out of my waist? You think they're going to want me to buy them? Ha!

Now, when my wife is standing there with me..... looking down through the top of the counter.... I can imagine all these blades going "Pick me!!! Pick me!!!"
 
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