I'm becoming more and more introverted

D

Don Nguyen

Joined
Oct 4, 2011
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I used to be very talkative and outgoing, when I loved to discreetly show off. I love recognition and things like that, and I was quite the conversational narcissist. I would be talking to someone, and would eagerly wait for their statement to say something about myself, without actually listening to what they had to say. I used to be very serious about music, and would talk about music to boast about it. Then I realized that most of the music I did wasn't for myself, it was for everyone else.

Well now, while I still do enjoy such recognition and whatnot, am not so much the conversational narcissist. I am constantly aware if I notice myself wanting the attention, and thus makes me not talk at all really. Maybe some small talk here and there, perhaps I try to approach a pretty girl, but I never find myself social anymore. I do enjoy conversation now, but only between friends one on one. In a group setting, I linger in the background and become a watcher, not that I dislike it.

I'm not disliking the introvertedness at all really. I rather like having a silent and calm composure most of the time, usually daydreaming or observing. I'm almost complacent with it. I find I'm in such a calm state during. I hardly play music nowadays, and I'm all to myself in the hours of making knives. It's meditative. I'll sit in empty classrooms before lecture starts for like an hour without even being bothered or bored - with no desire or impulse to talk to anyone. Except the pretty girl occasionally.

Curious as to what you think, of introversion.
 
Not sure if this is the right place for this, but as long as you don't feel like shooting anyone, I think you're fine? :) Sounds like part of growing up.
 
As long as the voices keep to themselves your ok. Seriously though, i'm an introvert also, have been my whole life and I like it this way. I never get into trouble, everyone is afraid of me and thats fine because I just don't feel like talking to people most of the time. There is a lot of people just like us so don't sweat it man, the happiest time for me is when there are no other humans around, this is how I know I can go live in the woods and be just fine.
 
Don't know how old you are, but it seems to me symptomatic of the aging process. I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs and
opinions and don't really feel the need to converse or attempt to convert anyone to my way of thinking. Other people have to
find their own way and that doesn't necessarily have to be MY way. Just don't care about conflict anymore...
 
I'm very okay with introversion. I''ve found that there are those for whom social interaction is refreshing, but I find it to be tiring. Fun, but a definite expenditure of energy.
 
I'm also an introvert. I first discovered it when I went into kindergarten. I'm 49 now.

Even among my own family members, I'm the one who sits back while everyone else gabs away. The interesting thing is, I can talk to pretty much anyone, and in fact must communicate to a degree during work. I also used to teach martial arts, and have been told my ability to communicate concepts, etc., is very good, and that people have been able to grasp difficult things very quickly. But most of the time, I keep quiet.

I used to wish I was like most others, the gregarious types. But we are all unique, and I have come to respect and enjoy my quietness. Sometimes it's not how much you say. There are lots of people who speak a lot of words yet don't say much at all.

During conversation with people, I also sometimes found myself waiting to say something, more than I was listening. That was a problem. I took up acting classes, and one thing that really helped me is that most of acting is listening and reacting. If you're only waiting for your line to come up, you aren't acting. You must really listen to what the other person is saying and be "affected" by it. This was a big help to me during real conversations. When you really listen, then conversations take on a different quality.

Jim
 
"Eh, there's nothing wrong with quiet."

Robert Redford as Jeremiah Johnson
 
I've sort of taken the same road. I was a goofball when hanging out with friends, and always went for the laugh. As I've gotten older, I've found that it's not necessary to be the center of attention, and you can get to know folks so much more when you ask questions, rather than spend all your time answering them. I do sometimes make a point of throwing myself out there if No one is talking, or no one is volunteering to speak in a larger group setting, e.g. training, or similar. Usually I'll make a self-deprecating remark, or funny comment to try to loosen folks up. After that, though, I am now more likely to step back and only jump in when things are slowing down.

Yup, it's all about growing up, and being comfortable with who you are, and not having to impress anybody. As Don said, though, when a pretty girl is part of the equation, things can change, and I'll be acting like a teenager again.:D
 
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