Iowa rant

[Stacy E. Apelt - Bladesmith]

I am going to have some tongue in cheek fun at the expense of out good members from "America's Heartland' - Iowa.

It isn't enough that 99% of Americans don't exactly know where Iowa is ( including many Iowans), or that the Iowa flag looks suspiciously like the Mexican flag, now Iowa is poised to make itself known to all of America as a leader in animal rights and preservation of endangered species.

Iowa is poised to ban the killing of wooly mammoths and sale of their body parts.....especially the tusks. I can see how states like WA, OR, and AK may have problems with people trying to smuggle African tusks mixed in with truck loads of mammoth tusks, ....but IOWA?? Umm, does it have a boarder we don't know about? Or a tundra that is staring to thaw out and mammoths are wandering around?

Additionally, I believe the state coffee party (they don't drink tea in Iowa) is going to attach a rider to the mammoth bill that will make all fences illegal, because they may interfere with the buffalo migrations.

All this is in an effort to protect the state's reputation as "The safest state in America". If the mammoth poacher gangs get a foothold, Iowa will become just as bad as the drug gangs from Tijuana in Southern CA.

This is bigger than Iowa,...it is bigger than the US,.... it is a world wide problem that is going to bring down social order and civility.

The only way to deal with this is for the president of Iowa State University to go to the UN and ask for a worldwide ban on mammoth hunting.



I am getting a bumper sticker made saying -
The killing won't stop until the Iowans stop the killing.

 

[james terrio]

A friend who grew up there once told me that IOWA stands for: I Oughtta Went Around (as opposed to going through it or, heaven forbid, staying there).

 

[Atlas Knife Company]

Please, allow me to shed a little light on this. First, the Iowa Flag is derived from the French flag.

Woolly mammoth bones have been found at least twice in Iowa, in the last 3 years. It doesn't surprise me that they would want to ban the sale of these precious Iowa artifacts. I think the ivory and rhino horn bans are a by-product of this. Still, I doubt it will pass.

 

[Atlas Knife Company]

^^^ How many handles do you think we could get out of that piece?

 

[james terrio]

Thanks for the clarification. I understand the point, but yo can see where it seems a bit silly at first glance... most states already have plenty of regulations about digging up/selling artifacts.

 

[Atlas Knife Company]

Yeah, I think some do-gooder at the statehouse just wants to make sure such a unique find stays in Iowa instead of ending up on some CEO's shelf in Tokyo. Me, I'd build an office and a shelf just to put it on, even if I never used the office.

I do appreciate the comedy of such a situation without the knowledge about the mammoth finds.