- Joined
- Mar 10, 2000
- Messages
- 777
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to
invade next when
his telephone rang.
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Paddy
down
in County Cavan, Ireland.
I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring
war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important
news! Tell me,
how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's
calculation, "there
is myself,
my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Gerry, and the entire
dominoes team
from the pub * that makes 8!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1
million men in my
army
waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!", said Paddy,
"I'll have to
ring
you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.
Hussein, the war
is
still on!
We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and
Murphy's tractor from
the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
have 16 thousand
tanks,
14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has
increased to 1 and
a half million since we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day.
"Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get
ourselves
airborne!
We've modified Ted's ultra-light with a couple of rifles in
the cockpit
and the bridge team has joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell
you Paddy that
I
have 10 thousand bombers,
20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is
surrounded by
laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites,
and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Faith and begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back.
"Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein,
I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's no
way we can feed 2
million prisoners."
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It is not the fall that kills you. It is the realization that "yes, you did something that stupid."
