Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

T. Erdelyi

T. Erdelyi

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Feb 3, 2001
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The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.



The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.





Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.



As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.



Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



This gives two possibilities:



1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.



2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.



So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.



The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
 
As many times as I read that I still get a good laugh out of it. I bet that student went on to great things with his life. :D
 
The ending's changed since last time I saw that. In the version I saw Hell was still exothermic because he still hadn't slept with the woman.

Lagarto
 
lagarto said:
The ending's changed since last time I saw that. In the version I saw Hell was still exothermic because he still hadn't slept with the woman.

Lagato
Click to expand...

Ditto that, still a pretty funny story.
 
Anyone got the job application to McDonalds that some 17 yr old kid was supposed to have sent in?

Thats good for a giggle too.
 
Old one but still funny for chemistry/physics nut :D

Two problems with this answer though:

A: The assumption that soul is a massive object:due to the fact that total amount of energy/matter can never change a person who dies (soulbeing a part of that person while he was still alive) should weigh less dead than they did alive. This is obviously not true - for whatever mass decays off of their dead body the mass of decayed tissue around increases, thus maintaining the balance. If soul had mass the sum of dead body and decayed bits would be smaller than the weioght of person while they were still alive. Obviously not true so soul doesn't have a mass.

B: If souls had mass anyway another conclusion of his woudlbe wrong: if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the influx of new souls into it it woudl still freeze over at some point it doesn't take a zero influx of new souls to have it frozen because lava, sulphur and the rest of that stuff in Hell freezes way above absolute zero temperature. When pressure drops low enough (for Hell temperature average :D ) sulphur etc. will freeze. Pressure will never again go up beyond the treshold because influx of new souls is (by assumption) smaller than rate of expansion (additionally assuming that souls are of same size or of size that when multiplied by the rate of influx of new souls doesn't eceed the rate at which Hell is expanding).

Some of his reasoning was correct and some was not. Most definitely not an "A", except maybe in literature or philosophy class where far-fetched explanations needn't always follow ALL natural lawsand can conveniently ignore some :)
 
Another thing:

There is a notion out there that Hell is manifested differently for different people. In other words, if a soul is condemned to an eternity of suffering, it will spend this eternity in what was its (previous) owner's own vision of the Netherworld.

A police dispatcher buddy of mine claimed that if he went to Hell, it would be a cramped radio room in which the radio is constantly going off with choppy reception, all phones are constantly ringing off the hook, the computer is frozen, the network is down, the neon lights are buzzing loudly, the TV is on a loop playing Barbi commercials, and he needs to use the bathroom....ALWAYS.

FOR AN ETERNITY.

Ick.
 
Arms, I dispatched back in the early '70s for a couple of years....would have to agree with your bud.

PS welcome to BF.com
 
Arms Akimbo said:
Another thing:

There is a notion out there that Hell is manifested differently for different people. In other words, if a soul is condemned to an eternity of suffering, it will spend this eternity in what was its (previous) owner's own vision of the Netherworld.

A police dispatcher buddy of mine claimed that if he went to Hell, it would be a cramped radio room in which the radio is constantly going off with choppy reception, all phones are constantly ringing off the hook, the computer is frozen, the network is down, the neon lights are buzzing loudly, the TV is on a loop playing Barbi commercials, and he needs to use the bathroom....ALWAYS.

FOR AN ETERNITY.

Ick.
Click to expand...
I'm glad I don't believe in hell! :)
 
Hell was living with my first wife. Since she sapped everybit of life from me at that time and stabbed me with an ice-pick, I'd have to say hell is exothermic.
 
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