Is the Phantom back? Where's Harry (Apothecary) when you need him?

wildmanh

wildmanh

Part time Leather Bender/Sheath maker
Joined
Jul 9, 2000
Messages
7,764
Yesterday evening I saw dark shapes flying by my window, then visions of a Sasquatch and Duck haunted my dreams last night. In my dream the beast wrapped it's dank hairy hand around my face to trottle me and steal my Durbas. I woke up in a cold sweat and checked my Khukuris.... Luckally, they were all there, but I can't shake the feeling that the Phantom is back.:eek::eek: hee hee

Run. Hide. Lock your doors, cover your windows, hide your women and Durbas. Who knows where he will strike next. Where is Harry when we need him?:confused::p he he he
 
Oooooookay Wildmanh, time to ease off on the local loco weed. No doubt Harry [the Apothecary] will prescribe some of Yvsa's home brew made from that special Lake Michigan water that's guaranteed to lift you spirits!:D :D :D
 
Originally posted by crooked knife
Oooooookay Wildmanh, time to ease off on the local loco weed. No doubt Harry [the Apothecary] will prescribe some of Yvsa's home brew made from that special Lake Michigan water that's guaranteed to lift you spirits!:D :D :D
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Crooked knife, I guess you have not heared of the dreaded Phatom.:eek: You need to go back and read the Phantom Thread it will give great insite into this horific creature known as "The Phantom".
 
This Report just in: A strange hairy creature has been sited in the western states, some say it looked like a dog, others like an ape like creature. One brave soul tried to get close to discover it's true identity but when he got close the thing vanshed. But as he walked away confused he heared wings flaping and what sounded like some one saying "Research, muuust Research".

This Strange creature has been spotted out side places that girls frequent. Authorities believe that the Phantom is trying to Recrute more One Legged Dancing girls to his dark projects. Beware!!
 
Oooooh yeeaa, your right, I didn't do my research. Man am I in a world of ****. It's time to get my old green eyeshades back on and do the dirty. I may need help!
 
Nooooo!!!!

Quackipuss sightings - I need more medication! I'm fumbling and dropping two out of three rounds trying to load the mags for my FAL.

If you haven't read the phantom thread, put The Ghost and the Darkness video on and it'll give you a rough idea of what's about to descend upon us.

Pardon me while I make sure they have a rubber room ready for me.
 
Well dadgummit Heber, what we going to do? Garlic don't work (at least I imagine a swamp dwelling, subterranean, troglodyte of a duck ain't concerned about bad breath), crucifixes don't work, the boy's a saint, don't believe me just ask him. Tell you what, all is not lost, Tsimi considers any khuk 12" OAL and under to be just plain umanly and despicable. Get you a Bilton, 12" Siru, etc., and hang it over your door. A pink scabbard cover will make the talisman even more potent, recommend naugahyde (if Naugas are in season out in Utah), or "fun fur" with rhinestone embellishments. Just the mere presence of such a swishy little "K" will make the duck recoil in horror and be stricken by nausea, in which vulnerable condition he may be overcome and captured. But be careful, that duck does like some little knives, with cute little names like "Gunting" or some such nonsense. So never assume he's been properly disarmed until you haul him down to your local airport and let the security boys check all them places you or me wouldn't want to look. Good luck buddy, we're all behind you on this, wayyyyyy behind you. Bwaaaa, you think that duck's got dimples? Son, let me tell you, them's marks left by ten foot poles. Poor soul's got to shave by looking at his reflection in a mud puddle, done busted all his dadblame mirrors. Oh crap...........was that tree leaves or feathers I just heard rustling outside my window? See what you done Heber? Now you've got me jumpy too. Where'd I put that Bilton, ah yes, there it is.

Sarge
 
You used Troglodyte and Naugahyde in the same paragraph. My hat is off! Hey....The Naugahyde Troglodytes sounds like a good college band name.

Crap! what was that? Gotta Run and go Check my Durbas..Chitlangi, GRS, and BGRS, to make sure they haven't mysteriously migrated south...

-Craig
 
Baiting Tsimi, the Duck that Should Not Be? It's as if we've been swept into some Lovecraftian horror...infernal edge geometry and such;)

...What's that slithering rustling dragging sound? Is that a tentacled tailfeather at the edge of the firelight? Is it the Dunwich Duck? Or Snagadurba, the khuk devourer?

I almost wish it were just the Hounds of Tindalos...
 
Yawn,grumble,I see the WANNBES are at it again!!Doesn't surprise me that "fumble fingers"(Rus)is having his usual problems,all those meds will do that,AN OLE LARDBUTT(Sarge,aka WADDLES,OR OLE "CAN'T HUMP A RUCK")is yakking again!Ferr. go back to huggin trees!! Chop,you ain't bad enough to roast this DUCK!As for the rest of you "simpletons",KEEP OOHHING & AHHING,OVER 12":barf:,NOTICE HOW" ole pain in the butt"LIKES TO CARRY HIS K'S,"pink "!!Sigh to think he "use ta "be a YOUNG(long,long time ago)kick ass,foul mouthed,whip everybody BAD ASS!!! SNIFF, now he dresses in PINK ! BWAAAAAAA!
CEASE from trying to ruffle the feathers,I am retired, mellow & taking care of the LADIES! YOU ALL DO NOT WANT THIS DUCK TO START AFTER MORE K'S!! Wild,yes it was ME you heard,be careful,I was checking up on ya,remember that CUTE lil REDHEAD that used to go camping!! Haven't seen her around anymore "HAVE YOU"!! BWAAAAA!
THE SAINT! :cool:
 
"Retired", down South, is pronounced "re-tahrd".....sounds like something else :eek: But "Mellow"? Like limburgher cheese, maybe. Just think of all the time he will have on his hands.
 
'Course he's lurking, he can't be taking "taking care of the ladies" 24/7. Better leave them blue haired snowbirds down at the bingo hall alone Duck, they might be more than an old geezer like you can handle without some viagra and Jack Daniels, hee.

And don't you worry none, I'm taking real good care of my special khuk with the funny little flags on it; " My Durba is sharp, My Durba is shiny, If someone fools with my Durba, I will kick his heiny", Bwaaahahaaahahaaa, WHACK, THUMP, THUD..............Was keeping it at my office, but it was making lieutenants wet themselves when I'd start waving it around and describing things to them like atlas joints and subclavian arteries. The worst was when I was pondering if it would be up to an old Viking axe technique called the "Blood Eagle". That there was turning 'em fishbelly white. I wouldn't hurt so much as a fly, except in defense, or out of tactical necessity, but them fellers don't need to know that, now do they?

Sarge
 
The old 'blood eagle' puts a whole new slant on the expression 'coughing your lungs out', don't it?
 
Yup, nasty little trick, but quite effective at terrorizing defenders into flight or surrender. Still, at least you could see a Viking with a Dane axe coming. Our men and women being killed and maimed over in Iraq seldom have the luxury of "seeing it coming". That our troops over there continue to do their jobs, and do them well, in such a treacherous operating environment, is a measure of their courage, and a testament to their conviction. If they'd found themselves standing on a grassy plain, spear in hand, back in the middle ages, I have no doubt they'd have "held the line". Sound like I'm proud of 'em? Then you're hearing me right ;-)

Sarge
 
Originally posted by jim_l_clifton
Yawn,grumble,I see the WANNBES are at it again!!Doesn't surprise me that "fumble fingers"(Rus)is having his usual problems,all those meds will do that,AN OLE LARDBUTT(Sarge,aka WADDLES,OR OLE "CAN'T HUMP A RUCK")is yakking again!Ferr. go back to huggin trees!! Chop,you ain't bad enough to roast this DUCK!As for the rest of you "simpletons",KEEP OOHHING & AHHING,OVER 12":barf:,NOTICE HOW" ole pain in the butt"LIKES TO CARRY HIS K'S,"pink "!!Sigh to think he "use ta "be a YOUNG(long,long time ago)kick ass,foul mouthed,whip everybody BAD ASS!!! SNIFF, now he dresses in PINK ! BWAAAAAAA!
CEASE from trying to ruffle the feathers,I am retired, mellow & taking care of the LADIES! YOU ALL DO NOT WANT THIS DUCK TO START AFTER MORE K'S!! Wild,yes it was ME you heard,be careful,I was checking up on ya,remember that CUTE lil REDHEAD that used to go camping!! Haven't seen her around anymore "HAVE YOU"!! BWAAAAA!
THE SAINT! :cool:
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NOOOOO!!!! My worse fears have come true, the Duck has joined forces with she who will now be known as "The Red Head".:eek::eek: This girl might even be to much for The Duck! We need strong medicin. HELP!!! :p
 
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