It Is So Cold

A

akivory

Joined
Feb 5, 2001
Messages
808
How cold is it where you live? It has been -40 for the last 10 days. From a local paper:


It was so cold...
roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

It was so cold . . .
when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!

It was so cold . . .
the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!





It is so cold . . .
politicians are sticking their hands in their own pockets.

It was so cold . . .
the squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!



It was so cold . . .
Grandpa’s teeth were chattering - in the glass!
.

It was so cold . . .
we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.

It was so cold . . .
we had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas!

It was so cold...
kids stopped worrying about acne. The new problem - goosepimples!

It was so cold . . .
when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!

It was so cold . . .
words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!

It was so cold . . .
the dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running!



It was so cold . . .
we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!

It was so cold . . .
the Dog Mushers Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started! Then...

It was so cold . . .
when we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place!
 
I'd always heard the phrase from my Mom, "...Colder than a well-digger's a$$."

I never put much stock in it, until I went off to school. Over Christmas break one year, a roomie asked me if I had plans--I had none. So, he told me that a friend of his dad needed some trenching done, about twenty yards of it. For this task, he was willing to pay one thousand dollars. With dollar signs in my eyes, I jumped at it. "A grand for digging sixty feet of trench?!? NO WAY!! This is like stealing," I thought to myself. I was young. And strong. And STUPID.

We get out to the site, and I find that he's already had someone start the trench. They'd gone about six feet...





And hit an old, unknown water line. No pressure in it, but several hundred gallons of the coldest, foulest, most brackish mire that it has ever been my displeasure to wade through. Nothing for it, though, but to dig the trench and slog through it. Which we did. I made my thousand, but I was sicker'n a DOG for about two weeks after, and for days after we finished, I lived with my feet sitting darn near IN the fireplace. I've never been so cold. It was like having icewater pumping in my veins.

Now, when someone mentions that the weather is colder than a well-digger's a$$, I just whistle and say, "DAAAAAAANG...that's COLD!!!"

:D:eek:
 
Your're going to just hate me, but Sunday it will be so cold in San Diego that the girls at the beach will be wearing one-piece suits instead of bikinis. (supposed to hit 80 on Sunday.)
 
6 F here now .It's so cold my cows won't let me milk them unless I'm wearing mittens !
It's so cold the mercury has gone clean out of the bottom of the thermometer !
 
that is pretty cold. Gets like that here sometimes, but it doesn't last that many days in a row.

Going to be in the teens tomorrow, perfect weather.
 
Kalindras said:
I'd always heard the phrase from my Mom, "...Colder than a well-digger's a$$."

I never put much stock in it, until I went off to school. Over Christmas break one year, a roomie asked me if I had plans--I had none. So, he told me that a friend of his dad needed some trenching done, about twenty yards of it. For this task, he was willing to pay one thousand dollars. With dollar signs in my eyes, I jumped at it. "A grand for digging sixty feet of trench?!? NO WAY!! This is like stealing," I thought to myself. I was young. And strong. And STUPID.

We get out to the site, and I find that he's already had someone start the trench. They'd gone about six feet...





And hit an old, unknown water line. No pressure in it, but several hundred gallons of the coldest, foulest, most brackish mire that it has ever been my displeasure to wade through. Nothing for it, though, but to dig the trench and slog through it. Which we did. I made my thousand, but I was sicker'n a DOG for about two weeks after, and for days after we finished, I lived with my feet sitting darn near IN the fireplace. I've never been so cold. It was like having icewater pumping in my veins.

Now, when someone mentions that the weather is colder than a well-digger's a$$, I just whistle and say, "DAAAAAAANG...that's COLD!!!"

:D:eek:
Click to expand...


Best thousand dollars I ever spent. :p :D
 
Detroit area. Been in the 20s most of the week.

Alaska is beautiful to visit but I sure as heck couldn't live there year around.
 
It was so cold that I couldn't talk, because every time I opened my mouth, my tongue froze to my teeth.
 
I've been in a deer stand most the last three days. It's difficult to sit still when you are swatting mosquitoes! High in the 60's. About to change though, and next week shivering will be the problem.
 
L03cold_t575.jpg
 
We had three straight weeks were the temperature dropped to below zero degrees Fahrenheit, and some nights went down below minus thirty. It warmed up to plus thirty today.

It was so cold I saw a hookers tongue stick to a johns zipper.
 
Cold Weather

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

60 above zero. Floridians turn the heat on. People in New England plant gardens.

50 above zero. Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.

40 above zero. Italian and English cars won't start. People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 above zero. Distilled water freezes. Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20 above zero. Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero. New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it turns cold.

Zero. People in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero. Californians go to Mexico. People in New England get out their Winter coats.

25 below zero. Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero. Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.

100 below zero. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in New England get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht".

275 below zero. All atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below zero. Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series.
 
Been so cold with temps often in the -30s during the nights that the wood furnace runs steady and on tuesday it will be 5 weeks since the oil furnace has had a chance to run.

I will add that it would have to reach 600 below zero and stay that way during the whole regular season, before the Toronto Maple Leafs would even have a chance at winning the cup.
 
Nine Below Zero - Rice Miller (aka Sonny Boy Williamson II)
[youtube]AGUGXOxs6p0[/youtube]
 
Got so cold here I saw a dog froze to a fire hydrant...

So cold if you were outside and squatted to pee, you'd have to stand up to finish...

Colder that a witches tit in a cast iron bra doin' pushups in the snow...

Cold enuf to freeze the balls off a brass monkey...
 
I love the cold weather. If you were to monitor my activity, I am much more active in the cold than the heat. Today I was outside shoveling my driveway and than shoveled snow back into my driveway just so I could shovel it out again.

Our highs for the next week are in the lower teens and upper single digits, with lows around 0.
 
The 15 day cold snap is breaking This morning the temperature is-24. After two weeks of -40 it is supposed to warm up to 20 above by the end of the week. The 60 degree increase will be welcome.We had to postpone out New Years barbeque and fireworks it is now time to reschedule. I fared well this time with only one broken pipe and a power steering pump going out. My brother in law hit a bull moose in the ice fog and totaled his new F150 in the ice fog. There have been a lot of house fires. We have burned a cord of wood in the last few weeks.
We are gaining daylight and coming into one of my favorite times of year to play outdoors. We bought our daughter a new snow machine for Christmas and I am looking forward to taking her on a trail ride.
I came here from Arizona 30 years ago and have never looked back.
 
You're living on a different planet. :)
I can only imagine the adaptations of life to deep cold.
Obviously you and the others up there know what to expect and how to deal with it.
 
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