It really is better to give...

J

jackknife

Joined
Oct 2, 2004
Messages
17,525
Than receive.

Of late for reasons unknown to myself, I have been feeling a bit nostalgic, almost sadly so. Maybe I've reached an age where I am aware that I'm closer to the end than the begining, or that in the past couple of years I've had some old friends pass on who were of my generation. It makes a man think about things.

A few years ago, my wife Karen and I had a big downsize of our posessions. We gave alot to the kids, and the things they were not intersested in, we sold off to whoever. A few years ago, I also did the same with my guns, keeping just my old favorites I had since the metalic ca'trige was developed. I decided to do the same thing with my knives.

Sunday after church the family came over for lunch before going for a walk in the woods. All the kids for once, and all three of my grandkids. After lunch I brought out the knives I had decided I wanted to give to my family. I explained that I wanted to have the pleasure of giving to them while I was around to enjoy it, and they were to pick what they wanted. Since my needs these days are simple, I kept the old simple knives. My carbon sodbusters, and a yellow handle carbon peanut.

At first there was the usual protests that I may need them, but I insisted and they looked, and discussed among themselves and my three kids, two oldest grandkids at 13 and 9, my nephew, niece, and sister Anne all divied up the knives among them to everyones satisfaction. I loved it. My youngest son Matt made his joy clear that he got the good condition Stag Hen and Rooster stockman he had always admired, and my grandson Ryan went for a Buck Cadet. I told them all to take them as I wanted the joy of seeing them use and enjoy them as I have.

Afterward we went for a walk in the woods, and I felt lighter. It was a wonderfull feeling that I can't describe, of being less encumbered my material things. I still love knives, and have kept a nice collection of soddies, with all the differing handles, and the peanut. Perhaps this will be the new direction of a new collection-single blade working knives for the real world. Reflective of a philosophy of keeping things simple. Two years ago Karen and I made a promise to each other that we would keep things down to what would fit in a medium U-hual truck. I think we're there.

I still like the knives I gave away, but I am at a stage that for some reason, they just did not fit in with the lifestyle anymore. Maybe at 65 years of age my needs are simpler than they used to be. Maybe its just a change of taste, I did'nt like brussels sprouts when I was a kid either. While walking in the woods, my grandson Ryan, nephew Mark, son Matt, granddaughter Christy, son-in-law Paul, took a break to sit on a downed tree trunk and see who could whittle the best barber pole spiral. I did'nt half try, but had priceless memories etched in my mind of watching them whittle with thier knives I had given them. When they say its better to give than recieve, they're right on the money.
 
My son is just 20 months old. And I have nephews from 5-11 years old. I can't wait till they're all old enough for me to give them knives! I call myself an accidental knife collector - I have no interest in amassing some big collection of knives, I like user knives. But somehow, I keep coming across one I might need. ;)
 
A lot to be said for returning to simple and being much less consumerist. Somedays I manage, but not as much as I would like and need too. At one time I was doing real good at it. When I managed that I realized I really didn't have any reason to go to WallyWorld or any other place than the grocery store to shop. There just wasn't anything there I wanted. I need to work on that again.

Having the family all together and being able to share the whole, well, sharing experience sounds deeply satisfying. Even more memories will be made this way and later (much later we hope) when you are sitting with St. Pete by the Pearly Gates and whittling away the time till the fish start biting, the family still here will have a few more good memories to savour of you. Not to mention you may have shown those grandkids a better way to spend some quality down time instead of video games and TV.

Great read and great lessons. :thumbup:
 
Words to live by, jk! You're a wise man!!
 
Hey Amos,

Thats sort of the gist of what we're tying to do, return to a simple life. Theres been some definate side benifits, like I don't wander around the house anymore looking and wondering where the heck I put that so and so. With owning less, its easier to lay my hands on a piece of gear. And its sure easier to keep a neat orderly house.

But one of the bigest benifits I've reaped, is owning only two handguns, and two very similar rifles, my shooting has gotten better than its been in 20 years, in spite of older eyes. Karen cut back to two handguns and just one rifle, and she's deadly on Coke cans at 50 yards. I now regret spending too many years shooting too many different guns. I took a leason from my dad, and now I understand why he just had that one Colt. I just may sell off one more pistol yet. But it would be a tough choice.

The grandkids are learning what our kids learned while growing up. When our children were small, we made a habit that we kept up till they were ready to go off to college-we did things as a family. Camping, hiking, canoeing, shooting, and alot more, we always were doing things as a family. All three of our kids were on the junior team at the Izaack Walton League we were members of. Saturday mornings were spent on the range doing our share of consuming .22 ammo. When each child reached 12 years of age, they got a new .22 rifle that was thier own, to take care of and maintain. On winter weekday nights, after homework was done, there was practice in the basement with a variety of air guns. Much to our sons John and Matt's dismay, our daughter Jessica turned out to be a superior shot to either of them. All of them are active shooters to this day, and the third generation is at it now. Our granddaughter Christy at age 13 is one of the top shots on the juniors team. She takes after her mother, who takes after HER mother. When I first met and laid eyes on the girl who was to be my future wife, she was on a pistol range just outside of San Antonio Texas shooting her fathers K-22 and doing it well enough that the men on the range were impressed.

My grandfather who was the long standing patriach of the clan, always insisted that all the family stand together. Sunday go to meeting was something that one did not miss. My dad kept up the same tradition for my sister and I, and in turn we kept it up with our kids. Grandad also insisted that a family that shoots together, stays together. He had a dirt berm built up in back of his barn that was a informal range, and shooting/plinking sessions were part family get-togethers. Sunday dinner, Thanksgiving, Christmas day feast, no matter, we always had a shoot. It was a strange mixture of church and guns, but then grandad was sort of an old testament kind of guy. I recall him saying that there were two sets of holy trinity- the father, son, and holy ghost, and the others were sight picture, breath control, and trigger squeeze. Grandad preached both to us!

In this day and age, its hard to raise a child. We watch our grandkids like hawks as does thier parents. We watch who they hang out with, get to know thier friends parents. Children are like a garden, you have to watch, water, and weed. If you just walk away and don't pay much attention to it, it just turns to weeds. A good crop is cultivated, it does'nt just happen. Too many parents these days are paying more attention to thier jobs for a fat paycheck so they can have thier SUV's and yuppy toys, while only giving a passing look to thier children. Its too bad they let people have kids with less trouble than getting a drivers licence.
 
jackknife said:
In this day and age, its hard to raise a child. We watch our grandkids like hawks as does thier parents. We watch who they hang out with, get to know thier friends parents. Children are like a garden, you have to watch, water, and weed. If you just walk away and don't pay much attention to it, it just turns to weeds. A good crop is cultivated, it does'nt just happen. Too many parents these days are paying more attention to thier jobs for a fat paycheck so they can have thier SUV's and yuppy toys, while only giving a passing look to thier children. Its too bad they let people have kids with less trouble than getting a drivers licence.
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Amen to that, jackknife.
Amen to that...
 
On this topic what are the knives that you have now , that you wouldn't part with. Let's say get you down to three or four. What would those be Jackknife?
 
jacknife,
Great thread here and I am once again enjoying you, your family and your life experiences with them.. Thanks for that.

Your last paragraph in post #6 really hit home hard. Children truly are like a garden! And in those terms everyone(even the simplest of minds) can understand that one reaps what one sews. My wife and I probably understand that pretty darn well. She is a teacher at a pre-school and sees the result, all too often, of the child that is uncultivated and needs to be watered, weeded, and nurtured to put it in your good terms.. Luckily for them they have her, who is the most patent and loving woman I have ever met and has truly found her calling. Many of these children are merely the product of there parents' love-making without the benefit of birth control,(the term parents is used ever so lightly here) who view there child as nothing more than a nuisance and another chore to be crossed of the list of things to do.. Anyway, thank you especially for that post, children are like a garden, they truly are!:thumbup:
 
shipwreck said:
On this topic what are the knives that you have now , that you wouldn't part with. Let's say get you down to three or four. What would those be Jackknife?
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My sodbusters. I would'nt part with my soddies. I still like the others, but for whatever reasons are driving this urge to simplify my life, at this point the simple sodbuster pattern is the one that appeals to me the most. I grew up carrying a old Schrade-Walden small stockman when I was a kid, as well as an old Remington barlow, (my daughter is holding them for my youngest grandchild still a todler) but theres something almost metaphoric about the design of the soddie. Like the guns I kept, all are simple in design, but well made. I kept my old Marlin 39 I bought just before I got out of high school in 1959. and a newer Marlin, a nice little 39 mountie carbine, I bought in 1970. I love the way they take down with the loosening of a single knurled screw, with all of three moving parts, and can be cleaned from the breech end. Simple.

The other reason I like the soddie, is I am a fanatic on sharpness. I like the wide thin blade for the geometry of the edge, the kind of scary sharp a sodbuster gets, like an Opinel, but without the water induced swelling of the French knife.

I did keep one other knife, my sak. I like to have a sak on hand for the tools, but I don't carry one of those plier tool things. I have a sak and a AAA Dorcy little LED light in a nylon pouch the size of a small folding hunter pouch on my belt. I like having a couple size screw drivers and a phillips driver and a small flashlight avalable. Its amazing what you can fix if you can just get into it. I.E.- take off the cover, unscrew housing to tinker with, etc...

Three or four? I'd have a ways to go for that. I have about a dozen sodbusters like large and small Case yellow handle carbon, Eye-brand large and small yellow handle, Kissing Krane brown mules, a Queen Country Cousin that seemed appropiate a name for me, and a Boker Argentine yellow handle one. I think I still have a nice wood handle German one around here someplace by F.Herder I think.

No, I could'nt part with my sodbusters. When it's my time to go, they'll probably find me sitting on the back porch with a pile of wood shavings on the floor and a soddie of some sort in my hand.
 
sunnyd said:
jacknife,
Great thread here and I am once again enjoying you, your family and your life experiences with them.. Thanks for that.

Your last paragraph in post #6 really hit home hard. Children truly are like a garden! And in those terms everyone(even the simplest of minds) can understand that one reaps what one sews. My wife and I probably understand that pretty darn well. She is a teacher at a pre-school and sees the result, all too often, of the child that is uncultivated and needs to be watered, weeded, and nurtured to put it in your good terms.. Luckily for them they have her, who is the most patent and loving woman I have ever met and has truly found her calling. Many of these children are merely the product of there parents' love-making without the benefit of birth control,(the term parents is used ever so lightly here) who view there child as nothing more than a nuisance and another chore to be crossed of the list of things to do.. Anyway, thank you especially for that post, children are like a garden, they truly are!:thumbup:
Click to expand...

This hit us hard as well. My daughter Jessica is a Maryland state probation and parole agent, and almost all the young criminals she sees, all or at least most, were neglected children. Our church has a program of taking young offenders and taking them on hiking/camping trips, field trips, stuff like that, trying to give them a taste of a normal family life. Its heart breaking the number of these so called tough kids, that break down crying in grief when they see what a real family is like. One church camping trip we took a couple of pre-sentancing young offenders, and that night we had a nice campfire going doing the hot dog and marshmellow thing, with stories after for the grandkids. I went off into the dark to get some more wood, and when I got off away from the fire I heard someone crying. I found the 16 year old boy, crying in the dark, because he was so touched by the experience of being with a family and a church group like ours. His own parents hardly awknowleged his existance. I told him it was okay, and put my arms around him, and it was like a dam burst with deep racking sobs. He cryed and told me even his father never did that. I let him cry it out, and gave him my spare bandana to wipe his eyes and told him that it was okay.

Now this kid was not some inner city getto punk, but was from a nice middle class suburban home. But he had two parents who were just so stupid and self centered I truly believe they should have an old testiment stoning. I'm a peacable man, but had I met those parents someplace I fear my actions would be un-Christian. That kid ended up going back to school, going to the local comunity college and becomming a computer tech for a large company. All he really needed was a little love and attention. We've had a few sucsess stories with our outdoor church activities. Its amazing what happens with some fresh air out in the woods and nature.

Parenting should require at least the same examination as a drivers licence! It's a privlege that should be only for those who are willing to hoe and cultivate what they are raising!
 
Anthony, we seem to be on that parallel again. My wife is a Headstart aide and is working on here degree to become a teacher. Some of the tales of the kids and the parents are somewhere between sad and disgusting.

Jackknife, my hat is off to you folks for working with kids like that. A large number of the sickest and craziest, violent crimes are committed by supposed good kids from upper middle class families. Yep, there needs to be a parenting exam before kids are allowed.
 
jacknife and Amos,
I am ever so thankful to you Gents to read your posts in kind. Its amazing what a little bit of love and caring will do for children. I don't understand what is so darn hard about feeding, cleaning, clothing and loving a child to the best of ones ability. Its common sense.. jacknife, the church group you are affiliated with is exactly what those kids need! And God Bless you for being the good man that you are and spending your good time and effort to help those children get into the woods for some clean air and campfire stories. It is good medicine for all of us! You likely may have saved that 16 year old boys life and I third the motion that all adults would be required to pass a parenting coarse like you say. The parents you described are exactly the type of problem I was referring to at my wife's preschool. These morons have way more money than they do good common sense.. You know its bad when the children in my wife's class cry and don't want to go home when there Mother or Father comes to pick them up at night, but would rather stay with my wife instead.. I really have to wonder where this day care society in America is going to take us twenty years down the road.

Amos, that is great about your wife and her pursuits in attaining her Teaching degree. My wife just graduated her CDA(Child Development Administrator) courses here two weeks ago after 16 months of night school and countess hours studying up late at night. I am so proud of her for completing these course and she really is making a difference with those kids! I know it is a tough road to hoe because out of seven assistant teachers at her school that started the coarse with her, she was the only one to finish and graduate. So Amos, give your wife our best with much success.:thumbup:
 
jackknife said:
That kid ended up going back to school, going to the local comunity college and becomming a computer tech for a large company. All he really needed was a little love and attention. We've had a few sucsess stories with our outdoor church activities. Its amazing what happens with some fresh air out in the woods and nature.
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This really made my day. :thumbup:
 
sunnyd said:
I don't understand what is so darn hard about feeding, cleaning, clothing and loving a child to the best of ones ability. Its common sense..
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Amen! My wife and I (we have a girl who is almost 4, and a boy, 20 months) were talking about this last night. I just can't imagine having my time and efforts focused on anything else BUT my family. We've intentionally simplified SO much in our lives so that we can focus on those two, who are more important than anything. We have no cable TV, we live in a small place that we can afford, have no outstanding debt ..... hell, we don't even have a car (live in a big city in Europe, so we don't need one)! And you know how much I miss the American chase for material stuff? Not one damn bit. I miss my home in America many times, but I don't miss that element of it.
 
I wish I could get to see my grandkids. One is a boy around 6 and the other a girl around 12 (she's actually adopted and only been around a few years). They live in Virginia Beach, VA. Both are my Son's. They also have another on the way come late May or early June, also to be a boy. Neither of us can afford the visits as of yet. I'm hoping in another year or two the older ones, or at least the grandaughter (who I love to pieces) can come for some time in the summer. My son, Dan and his wife are teaching them good values at least.

While visiting my son at Lackland, AFB here in SA while he was going through Air Force Basic in 1997, he thanked me for how he was raised and told me he was going to raise his kids the same way. That made me feel good, but I told him that now and then it was okay to be a tad easier on a few things that I was. Then again, the things I remember and feel bad about, he doesn't seem to recall or worry too much about. Still, like most parents, there are a few times I could have been a wee less harsh.

My nephew-in-law on the other hand is an example of what happens when your mother coddles you, blames everything on someone else, and never holds her own kid accountable. He's served some time in jail already for being part of some guys who stole some guns at the Sporting Clays range where he worked. (Also where his dad shot at and helped him get the job.) He's had one problem after another and not getting any better.

His mom home schooled him, which means he mostly ran the streets. I've known some real home schooled kids who were taught well and grew up fine. His mother's reaction when it became apparent that he was going to go to jail that time was to try and find the best way for him to run off to Canada or Mexico. In the end he didn't. Probably a good thing as he would probably have gotten himself killed in Mexico.

Carole's kids, who I claim too, turned out pretty good by comparison. They didn't have a lot, had it hard in fact. When I came on the scene in 96 Carole had been working three jobs while trying to raise two pre-teens and a screaming, six year old, low-functioning autistic on here own. I've had some tough situations growing up myself. Yet we all turned out to be decent, honest people.

Parents and the people involved in a kid's life often make such a difference in how that kid will turn out.

Sorry, gone a rambling I guess. I need to go fix a toddy now. I still haven't had one and now I'm getting a cold. (what I get for waiting)
 
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