I've been run out of my shop!

Matt Shade

Matt Shade

Joined
Nov 24, 1999
Messages
4,981
Time for a rant. Probably easier for you guys to relate too than the guys in whine and cheese so I'll put it here.
I guess I should start off and say that my dad has always been great about letting me use his tools, shop, materials etc. and has always supported me with making knives and all my other projects. But now he's pissing me off :grumpy:
He has a workshop in our barn and all his tools are out there. I have my own shop now, that takes up the edge of our 2 car garage. Have a workbench that has to hold my drillpress, 2 benchgrinders, bandsaw, and beltsander, vice and also gets used as a workspace for a lot of hand work. My forge is in the corner and all my other stuff is in the drawers of the workbench. I also have a table in the corner of our basement for finishing and assembly.
Normally this set up is great, the only thing I have to work around is my moms car and most of the time its not in the way. He just started a big remodeling project though.
The first day, I offered to help him. We had to move a set of cabinets out of a bedroom. He couldn't remember how he got them up there. They'd been in that room since I was born. We wrestled it all the way down the stairs and couldn't get them around the corner so it was back up the stairs and me standing on the roof trying to catch this peice of **** as he pushed it out the 2nd story window. 2 hours later we have it out and he tells me its going in the garage. He drops it right in front of my workbench with a "that'll do for now.....don't set it on fire"
Nice.
Obviously knew it was in my way, but couldn't take 10 minutes to put it where it was going to go even though I spent 2 hours getting it to the garage :grumpy:
So I finally shoved it into a corner after 3 days and was able to get to everything but the forge. He finally moved it yesterday.

So fast forward to tonight, I'm refinishing my first pair of spurs I made. There wasn't any contrast to the engraving so I decided to back fill it with silver solder and then brown them. Did the first one yesterday and had it hanging on a string from a cabinet door handle (empty, no reason to open it) over the corner of my workbench and was trying to solder the 2nd one.
He comes out and wants to use a pair of sawhorses I have folded up against the end of the bench. Smacks the first one into the spur and has it bouncing all over, then grabs it with his greasy fingers! :mad:
Why would I hang something out of the way on a string if I wanted people touching it !?! WHY? :confused:
So I grabbed it (by THE STRING) and moved it before he tried to get the second sawhorse and proceeded to try and finish the soldering. Its not going well on this one, after about 6 tries I can only get the damn stuff to stick around half of the letters. The remaining ones are on a curved surface and it just beads up and slides off. Look over my shoulder and they've got the sawhorses set up and he's showing my sister how to use a power sander to take the paint off a pair of shelves. He's spraying goof off cleaner (aerasol) all over the damn things less then 5 feet away from me as I'm holding a torch burning MAPP gas. Kill the torch, patting myself on the back for not losing my temper and screaming at them. They're only trying to kill me after all.
2 minutes later the garage is full of blue dust. She's going to be painting in there tommorrow.....
I grabbed my spur, the bottle of browing solution and took it to the basement and put another coat on. I'll go back about midnight when the coast is clear to hide my tools so something doesn't wind up getting used to pry open a paint can.
I'm not sure when I can go back :mad:
 
Matt....This is the last thing in the world you want to hear.....but....I am here typing this because my son, who has his own home and shop, has dumped half his stuff in my shop. So an 8X8 section is not usable. This is where a lot of my hand tools are and the Radial Arm Saw .

My Daughter, who does live with me but is getting married....next year...decided she, Note the syntax, She, wanted to refinish a table...in the middle of another 8X8 section. This has my heavy duty work bench with the largest vise and hog grinder.

I have 1/2 of my shop taken up by my children. I fully expect to have a talk with my daughter this evening and discuss the need for firewood in August and my son is next!

I have several muzzle loaders in various stages of completion, one single shot 22, a Sharps Rifle ready to barrel, a 1911 Colt that would like to become finished, 1 sword, three field knives and I would like my shop back. :(

You might want to have a quiet peaceful talk with your dad.
 
Didn't think I was the only one.
I'm not going to go off on him or anything, at least I'm trying not to, when they start trying to set you on fire you tend to get a little pissed.

I'm gonna go hide most of my tools now. Hopefully you can get back in your shop soon. Sounds like you have some fun projects going.
Did I tell you I finally bought a gun barrel? Got a Clerke Match grade 20" SS bull barrel chambered for .22 Mag. Made to fit a ruger 10/22, should be able to use it for the Dehaas plans (adjusted a little) without any real altering to it.
 
hey peter....my whole shop is an 8 x 8 :D

I have to move crap around just to bull the buffer out....but its all mine!

I plan on getting a 12 x 16 in the next year. One of those barn looking deals........connect it to my 8 x 8 with an overhang for the forge I hope to have / build.

Do we ever have enough space? I think not. Just be glad you have someone who is handy around to clutter up your space. I am the only handy guy in my family and I am not so handy so a second guy would be awsome to bounce ideas off of. Thats why I like you cranks so much :D
 
Matt, I don't know your situation, and far be it for me to pry, but perhaps its time to find your own place? That's surely not what you want to hear, either. Sounds to me like its time for you to leave the nest.
 
I too have bad news for you Matt

being a dad for over 23 years ,,
looking from one end is always different then looking from the other end...

you've been with your dad from your beginning, though you have not from his.

and the young ones tend to over look important things like,
the deed to the house and who pays the bills and who's the head of the household. I know,, my boys seem to own everything I have ever bought :confused: and I don't mind really as long as some ground rules apply

if your dad knows about flammables fine, if not, the label on the can is all he needs.
grease on your stuff? another not knowing?

I'm sure your sister has the same rights as you do in the house as do any other sibling. you are in a situation that is give and take. your dad is giving more than he's taking I'm sure and I'm sure he always will concerning his kids..just two cents from a dads point of view, be easy on the old guy for without him where would you really be.. :(
 
Good insight on the family atmosphere Dan.......
 
Matt, trust me, you can't be happy making knives and other projects with other people using your work area. Some of my kids were problems when it came to barging into my work area with the same kind of "stuff" that you are having with your dad. It won't just end there. It continues, until you have your own work area that you can lock away from ALL others. One of my sons used to use my wood lathes and make a hell of a mess, then just leave. He would "borrow" tools without asking, and I would never see the tools again. Expensive tools, and ones I used practically every day for my knife making. The only solution was lock up the shop and keep the keys in my pocket. Another problem was kids using the shop for their personal warehouse. Now, I have new shop #2 built, mostly for (my)storage and work, and the other one for my knife work. The kid's stuff? Their stuff doesn't stop here, it stays with them, or they can haul it to the dump. Good luck, Matt!
 
On our local news a fellow defeated a petition to stop him from building a 6000 ft that right 6000 ft garage on his property. Lucky bastard.

Edited to add. My Father and I started getting in each others way when I was 17. After the blood was mopped up we didnt see or speak for 4 years.

Time we can never get back. It's all small problems when you think about it.
 
Don't feel too bad I just got my shop s[ace back and my wife is always going in and trying to use it for storage :mad: I keep telling her it's not a storage shed it's my shop. Thats why we built it so I could get away ;) .
Good luck
Peace
Bob
 
Mark Williams said:
Edited to add. My Father and I started getting in each others way when I was 17. After the blood was mopped up we didnt see or speak for 4 years.

Time we can never get back. It's all small problems when you think about it.
Click to expand...

interesting Mark
I left the house and joined the Navy when it got too bad, and thinking about it now, I give advise that I didn't understand back then.


once I got out of the Navy things were better between My Dad and I,
I worked for him for 9 years after BUT I wouldn't advise that to anyone that was as hard headed as I was :rolleyes:
it was very hard and I thought I had to help with his business, but it's one thing I wished I didn't do now, though we get along great now I would be
a richer man now in more than one way..
Mark what got you talking
your getting older or him getting weaker? or none of the above ;)

there's a moral to this story.
 
Right around the time I hit 21, I had an epiphany.I suddenly realised that I was not as smart as I thought I was. I realised that every hard lesson I had been taught was for a reason that I didnt understand at 17. Everything that I had rebelled against was shear ignorance of youth. It hit me pretty hard. It's kind of a shame that we have to live to learn some mistakes in life , instead of just listening to our elders. I guess it's always been natures way of getting the friggin kids out from the nest.
 
Mark Williams said:
Right around the time I hit 21, I had an epiphany.I suddenly realised that I was not as smart as I thought I was. I realised that every hard lesson I had been taught was for a reason that I didnt understand at 17. Everything that I had rebelled against was shear ignorance of youth. It hit me pretty hard. It's kind of a shame that we have to live to learn some mistakes in life , instead of just listening to our elders. I guess it's always been natures way of getting the friggin kids out from the nest.
Click to expand...
If you figured all that out by the young age of 21, my hat's off to you sir. :cool:
 
I give advise that I didn't understand back then.

We all do that Dan. Fom most, growing older should mean growing wiser.

It hit me pretty hard. It's kind of a shame that we have to live to learn some mistakes in life , instead of just listening to our elders. I guess it's always been natures way of getting the friggin kids out from the nest.

Mark, that never really changes. I have learned over the years to stop before I jump on the kids with both feet. The reason is that I am constantly realizing what I have done wrong or could have done differently in raising them.

By understanding that and thinking my words through before making an ass out of myself, I hope I have been a better parent. There are really two sides to issue.
 
Thanks guys
I hope I didn't come off like this is going to cause problems between me and the rest of the family. Its a fairly normal thing, happens once in awhile although not usually on this scale. I get pissed, he/they finish what they're doing and I go back to work.
I guess it bothered me more this time because its been a recurring thing in the last 2 weeks with the cabinet, and the painting and a few other things before. I actually cleaned the entire garage and put a lot of their stuff away so I could get my stuff organized better about 4 weeks ago, and stuff just keeps winding up leaning against the front of my workbench for me to move.

As far as him not knowing about the finish on the spur or the aerasol spray around a flame, he does know. Its just a matter of not thinking, he kind of gets tunnel vision when he's working on stuff I guess. Been that way forever and I know better than to think it will change, thats just how my dad is. It pisses me off from time to time but its not making bad blood between us.

Moving out would solve some problems. I'd have my own space and some privacy which would be really nice. But I also have a barn full of horses I'd be coming back to work with everyday, and paying tuition doesn't leave much money left for rent/mortgage.

Hope I didn't scare any of you dads out there. I'm mad enough to come here and bitch about it, but thats as far as it will go.
 
Moving out would solve some problems. I'd have my own space and some privacy which would be really nice. But I also have a barn full of horses I'd be coming back to work with everyday, and paying tuition doesn't leave much money left for rent/mortgage.

It's part of growing up Matt. Everybody here remembers how it was. All we can do is give you a little different perspective.
No need to rush moving out. Enjoy every phase of your life because you can't ever get it back when it's gone!

Don ;)
 
Matt,

Just remember this one thing.

When you plant corn, you get corn.

My wife tells me sometimes, "You are so much like your father sometimes!"
I take it as a compliment.

Craig
 
Mark Williams said:
Right around the time I hit 21, I had an epiphany.I suddenly realised that I was not as smart as I thought I was. I realised that every hard lesson I had been taught was for a reason that I didnt understand at 17. Everything that I had rebelled against was shear ignorance of youth. It hit me pretty hard. It's kind of a shame that we have to live to learn some mistakes in life , instead of just listening to our elders. I guess it's always been natures way of getting the friggin kids out from the nest.
Click to expand...

I heard a great quote once, it went somethign liek this, "At 17 I though my dad was an idiot, at 21 I was surprised at how much he had learned" :D
 
I feel your pain Matt, I rent room and board from my folks. We get along a lot better after I got out of the service but it would definatly be better, at least for me, with my own place. Trouble is the apartment I lived at said no way to moving a power hammer in :D and so far I've had a devil of a time finding a decent chunck of land to buy for a fair price.

The thing that gets me is not lack of space, he's got a 30' by 40' steel building, and I try to keep everything contained on a couple of 8' benches. What gets me is that everytime I go out to work in the shop he comes out and likes to start up conversations and plunder. I like to spend time with my father, but when I'm working on knives I need and like total conversation and that is my private"leave me alone time". It didn't take more than one 10" bowie getting turned into a 4" hunting knife to learn to do the grinding and such at night when he's asleep!
 
Matt I feel your pain. Recently my wife's daughter took it into her head to get a divorce - and move herself and our grandbaby into our empty room "temporarily." That was two months ago and she's showing no signs of moving to her own place. Boxes and bags full of her crap are stacked all over our house, filling the basement and taken over my leatherwork space. If she wasn't so good about buying ice cream and folding clothes I'd send her packing. Instead, I've reduced my shop space by half and found new places to do clean work.

Hang in there, it won't be long at all until you're glad to hang out with your dad. You only have one and you'll find that he's a lot more important to you, flaws and all, than you might think today. At least that's been my own experience. My dad is getting up there in years, having some health issues; I wouldn't miss an opportunity to hang with him for anything. He lives a long way from here but I make it a priority to see him at least once a year. My mother passed 25 years ago and I still miss her deeply. Enjoy every minute you have with your family, even the frustrating ones. You can't get them back.
 
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