Late-night, five-minute poem....

Ashes

Ashes

Joined
Aug 2, 2002
Messages
2,490
The best I can do, since I don't feel like talking about stuff. Sometimes this is easier for me.

Time and time is trouble;
If you breathe, the pain is double.
It is better in this bubble...
(I don't have to breathe at all.)

My heart is racing faster,
Trying to avoid disaster,
Wishing I could be my master -
(Please don't catch me when I fall.)

I can take it all in stride,
'Cause I keep it all inside.
Though I've tried and tried and tried...
(I'm still scared that I may fall.)

~me
 
That was very good.A little dark but that's ok.Sometimes our most creative moments are also our darkest.I did my best work when I was feeling a little blue.
I hope you feel better soon.
Matt
 
Thanks, savagesicslayer. :)

Here's the second one I just rattled off in between posting here and messing around on-line:

No room left inside
Though I never have lied...
Sometimes wish I had died
That night that I'd tried.

I'm often too weak,
Sometimes can't even speak...
I know I'm unique
By now I should have died.

My head isn't clear,
Like I'm not even here.
The things that I fear,
I will never confide.

~me
 
I suspect that your poetry is very personal Ashes.

The cadence is great and I really like it.

"It is better inside this bubble..."

I hear you there.
 
Writing about being inside of the bubble, and being prepared to let us read your poetry.

A winning combination if ever I’ve read one.
 
Ashes -

your poetry is obviously very personal... it's too raw and visceral to be theoretical. You say you prefer the bubble; there's no risk of pain, save that which is internally stimulated. But (and, it's a big but :cool: ) you have invited us to take a peek into your bubble. I hope you never fear a cold shoulder from those of us here; or, worse, indifference...

I'm hearing ya, Ashes :)
 
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