The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo s**t. Someone has stolen tent."
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Lone Ranger and Tonto Joke
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The Lone Ranger has been taken prisoner by the Bad Guys and is tied to a tree. In the dead of night, Tonto creeps up with knife in hand to cut the Lone Ranger's bonds. The Lone Ranger shakes his head "no", and whispers something into Toto's ear. Tonto nods, and slips away into the darkness.
At the crack of dawn Tonto comes charging up the hill, a saloon girl thrown over each shoulder. The Lone Ranger shakes his head and yells...........
NO YOU IDIOT! I said bring back the POSSE!!!!!!
Paul
At the crack of dawn Tonto comes charging up the hill, a saloon girl thrown over each shoulder. The Lone Ranger shakes his head and yells...........
NO YOU IDIOT! I said bring back the POSSE!!!!!!
Paul
- Joined
- Sep 16, 1999
- Messages
- 3,277
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are captured by a tribe of Renegade Indians. They're tied up, and await their death, in front of the tribe.
The Lone Ranger says to Tonto, "Well, old friend, it seems our luck has run out. But I feel at ease, knowing that we'll meet our fate side by side. Friends to the end."
Tonto turns to him and says "Are you talking to me, White Man?"
Edit to add:
Has anybody heard Lenny Bruce's "Thank You Masked Man" bit?
The Lone Ranger says to Tonto, "Well, old friend, it seems our luck has run out. But I feel at ease, knowing that we'll meet our fate side by side. Friends to the end."
Tonto turns to him and says "Are you talking to me, White Man?"
Edit to add:
Has anybody heard Lenny Bruce's "Thank You Masked Man" bit?
Cougar Allen
Buccaneer (ret.)
- Joined
- Oct 9, 1998
- Messages
- 75,464
He probably checked the wrong box by mistake. Doesn't matter; it's only one vote.
I did the same thing to Random earlier.It was an absolute mistake. Not that it matters; and as far as I can tell no one else can see your score or comments anyway.
I'll try to edit it if I can....
...I can't sorry. Ding me for being a dumbass and we'll call it even.
I was going to give your next post a Green point to make up, but heck, I can't do that either.
-Bob
I'll try to edit it if I can....
...I can't sorry. Ding me for being a dumbass and we'll call it even.
I was going to give your next post a Green point to make up, but heck, I can't do that either.
-Bob
