Looky what I got from Rob Simonich!!

Vampire Gerbil

Vampire Gerbil

Gone, but not forgotten. RIP Dave
Platinum Member
Joined
Sep 21, 1999
Messages
1,819
Ok, this started out as a "How I spent my Las Vegas Classic Knife Show Escapade", but the thing turned out to be 129K and I wasn't even halfway finished!
Now that's too long, even for ME, so that's gonna be a whole new webpage(s) to be shown later...
BUT....
I had to show off now!
:D
I met Rob Simonich after searching the place for a few hours. I asked everyone where he is, and the answer was usually, "He's probably under one of these tables".
Well, he musta got a good rest, cuz I found him as the show was closing up for the day. I'll skip the details, cuz I wanna be brief (you have no IDEA how hard this is for me... and it ain't even working too well!) so lemme show ya what I got..
LOOK!!!
Now, maybe I'm being a bit overly optimistic here, but I had a BRILLIANT idea while driving home from the show.
Now don't tell anyone, ok? But here's the idea...
Ya know those little knives that are usually on chains, I think they're called "Neck Knives"? (How they got that name, I dunno) OK, most of you know...
Well, here's the idea...
Shhhh.....
The new craze of the Century (I chose that time period cuz there is no name for this decade.. really, there ain't! And I can't spell "Milliinniiuumm")... uhh.. The New Knife Kraze of the Century.. no, the 21st Century.. yeah, that's it!
THE NEW KNIFE KRAZE OF THE 21ST CENTURY IS....
THE NECK HATCHET
Now I realize that we'll have to get a model that ain't as good looking as me, cuz we don't want folks to be overwhelmed at my gorgeousitude, but we'll iron out those details later.
Anyhow, that's about as brief as I could get.
Rob, contact me about my "creative license fee". I'm sure we can work out something where you'll get a percentage of the net from each Neck Hatchet sold.

Spending billions in my head,
I remain,
VG
Enterprenur.... Entreprep...... aww hell, I hate big words!
 
As Mark Twain said, "Never use the word metropolis when you get paid the same for city".

Wear that with a camo T and it would be damn near invisible. Wonder how it would look on Tony the Tiger?
 
Bastid.:p Great score VG. Be careful of your nipples carrying that thing around your neck. ;)
 
VG ya bastid!!! Congrats on that...it is a real score no doubt! I love the look of Rob's hatchet. :)
 
nice choice

I checked out your site, your Daughters are hot, How did that happen? :)

are they single?

Interested in long distance relationships?
 
Originally posted by Vampire Gerbil
Spending billions in my head,
I remain,
VG
Enterprenur.... Entreprep...... aww hell, I hate big words! [/B]
Click to expand...

I think the word you were looking for was Entremaneur.

Hilarious thread VG. Reminded me of the guy with the Brend Model 2 at about 10-1/2" hanging from his neck.
 
I met Rob Simonich after searching the place for a few hours. I asked everyone where he is
Click to expand...

He's hard to find because if he turns sideways, he's so thin that he disappears.

The trick is to look for his hat.
 
Dang, nice kneck hatchet ifin I do say so myself!!!!!!!

VG does not have to worry about his nops, it's the gut below that might get some trimming;) ;) When you get you're gut trimmed down I get dibs on the belly buster next:D
 
and it hurt too much,so i stopped.


i may have to do the samething with a raven... :p
 
Yes VG, we are going to be rich beyond our wildest dreams! I am already maxing my credit cards out as I know I will be able to pay the bills off by next month with all the money! I am mostly spening my money on high quality disposable razors.

I think if you wore that jogging it would make a nice chest hair shaver and nipple callus trimmer!

Where the hell was Lorena???????????????????????????????

Gollnick, I resemble that remark!

:D :D :D :p :p :p
 
Good idea -- I'll copy this thread to the hawk forum. (It started in the general blade discussion forum.)
 
Good Evening.
Please forgive my ruditude at not respnding to the enormous amount of responses here. Thinking up that Neck Hatchet angle really did a number on my brain and it took me a while to recover.

First I would like to thank everyone for their accolades and would like to remind everyone that my autograph is available for a small fee. Email me for details. Be sure to include your credit card number and a photo of any female family members above the age of 18. If you have pets, lemme see them too.

For an update on the Neck Hatchet, Click Here!

Now then, the responses:
Jim Richardson said,
Wear that with a camo T and it would be damn near invisible.
Click to expand...
Well Jim, check the post HERE and you'll see that it disappears on black shirt as well!

Nosamk said,
I'm sure you an Rob will make MILLIONS!!!
Click to expand...
Yes, we will. But you'll still have to pay for my autograph.

John Frederick said,
Wow! And I thought I was crazy for wearing my 1911 around my neck!
Click to expand...
The 1911's grip safety can catch a piece of your neckflesh accidentally and hurt really, really bad! You're crazy alright!

samhell said,
Be careful of your nipples carrying that thing around your neck.
Click to expand...
No problem there, Sam. They got sliced off the first time I tried taking it off. No big deal, really. Nipples on a guy are superflous anyway.

Dexter Ewing said,
I love the look of Rob's hatchet.
Click to expand...
Actually, DE, it's mine.. MINE... MINE, ALL MINE, I SAY!!
Err... sorry... forgot the meds again.. just took 'em.. all better now.

LizardKing said,
I checked out your site, your Daughters are hot, How did that happen?
Click to expand...
One word, Lizard, ADOPTION. (Yes, I read your other questions and you're getting the answer here)

MAURICE said,
they're mine
Click to expand...
Morris, due to the fact that I have taken my meds, I shan't give the answer you deserve. Please see my pre-medicated response to Dexter and pretend I'm talking to you. I am.

rdangerer said,
I think the word you were looking for was Entremaneur.
Click to expand...
Yep, it DOES look a lot better... something still seems wrong tho. Oh well, I'll just chalk it up to those times that no matter HOW many times ya look at a word, it just seems wrong.. words like cat, duck and disestablishmentarianism are good examples.

Gollnicksaid,
He's hard to find because if he turns sideways, he's so thin that he disappears - The trick is to look for his hat.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the advice, Golly. Too late to help me for that show, so I had to settle for floor hunting instead. By the way, that's the shortest damned post you ever made. I hope you're feeling better now!

Shrike9 said,
When you get you're gut trimmed down I get dibs on the belly buster next
Click to expand...
Shrike, perhaps you're unaware of this but I'm getting over a particularly deadly and dreadful disease.
Yes, I Vampire Gerbil, was striken with ANOREXIA! I'm all better now tho. I used to be MUCH better. In fact, two years ago, I weighed 80 pounds more than I do now! Come to think of it, maybe I'm not as better as I thought!
(Oh, and tell the fighter jocks at Nellis I'm PO'ed at 'em! They did a flyby over my truck the other night and the damned alarm didn't shut off. Now it's all effed up. ;) )

MAURICE said,
and it hurt too much,so i stopped.
i may have to do the samething with a raven..
Click to expand...
Morris, as I have no clue as to what the hell you're trying to say, please see my response to Dexter again. It's fun to yell at you.

Rob Simonich said,
I think if you wore that jogging it would make a nice chest hair shaver and nipple callus trimmer!
Click to expand...
Rob, as I have mentioned, there's no nipples left, let alone calluses.... wait a minute... you have CALLUSES on 'em?!?!? You're nuttier than I thought! I may have to re-think our profit sharing plan... something like where I get 50%, Vampire Gerbil gets 50%, Lorena gets 12% and you share that with her, or something like that.

Dances and Cougar I shall refrain from responding as you didn't publicly worship me. that's alright. I'm hardly crying at all.

Now I shall depart, and dream of new ideas until my eyes bleed milk.
Goodnight,
VG
 
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