Looky what I got from Rob Simonich!!

[Cougar Allen]

Good idea -- I'll copy this thread to the hawk forum. (It started in the general blade discussion forum.)

 

[Dexter Ewing]

VG ya bastid!!! Congrats on that...it is a real score no doubt! I love the look of Rob's hatchet.

 

[Rob Simonich]

Yes VG, we are going to be rich beyond our wildest dreams! I am already maxing my credit cards out as I know I will be able to pay the bills off by next month with all the money! I am mostly spening my money on high quality disposable razors.

I think if you wore that jogging it would make a nice chest hair shaver and nipple callus trimmer!

Where the hell was Lorena???????????????????????????????

Gollnick, I resemble that remark!

 

[Gollnick]

I met Rob Simonich after searching the place for a few hours. I asked everyone where he is

He's hard to find because if he turns sideways, he's so thin that he disappears.

The trick is to look for his hat.

 

[Shrike9]

Dang, nice kneck hatchet ifin I do say so myself!!!!!!!

VG does not have to worry about his nops, it's the gut below that might get some trimming When you get you're gut trimmed down I get dibs on the belly buster next

 

[Vampire Gerbil]

Ok, this started out as a "How I spent my Las Vegas Classic Knife Show Escapade", but the thing turned out to be 129K and I wasn't even halfway finished!
Now that's too long, even for ME, so that's gonna be a whole new webpage(s) to be shown later...
BUT....
I had to show off now!

I met Rob Simonich after searching the place for a few hours. I asked everyone where he is, and the answer was usually, "He's probably under one of these tables".
Well, he musta got a good rest, cuz I found him as the show was closing up for the day. I'll skip the details, cuz I wanna be brief (you have no IDEA how hard this is for me... and it ain't even working too well!) so lemme show ya what I got..
LOOK!!!
Now, maybe I'm being a bit overly optimistic here, but I had a BRILLIANT idea while driving home from the show.
Now don't tell anyone, ok? But here's the idea...
Ya know those little knives that are usually on chains, I think they're called "Neck Knives"? (How they got that name, I dunno) OK, most of you know...
Well, here's the idea...
Shhhh.....
The new craze of the Century (I chose that time period cuz there is no name for this decade.. really, there ain't! And I can't spell "Milliinniiuumm")... uhh.. The New Knife Kraze of the Century.. no, the 21st Century.. yeah, that's it!
THE NEW KNIFE KRAZE OF THE 21ST CENTURY IS....
THE NECK HATCHET
Now I realize that we'll have to get a model that ain't as good looking as me, cuz we don't want folks to be overwhelmed at my gorgeousitude, but we'll iron out those details later.
Anyhow, that's about as brief as I could get.
Rob, contact me about my "creative license fee". I'm sure we can work out something where you'll get a percentage of the net from each Neck Hatchet sold.

Spending billions in my head,
I remain,
VG
Enterprenur.... Entreprep...... aww hell, I hate big words!

 

[rdangerer]

Originally posted by Vampire Gerbil
Spending billions in my head,
I remain,
VG
Enterprenur.... Entreprep...... aww hell, I hate big words! [/B]

I think the word you were looking for was Entremaneur.

Hilarious thread VG. Reminded me of the guy with the Brend Model 2 at about 10-1/2" hanging from his neck.

 

[MAURICE]

they're mine

 

[MAURICE]

and it hurt too much,so i stopped.


i may have to do the samething with a raven...

 

[samhell]

Bastid. Great score VG. Be careful of your nipples carrying that thing around your neck.

 

[John Frederick]

Wow! And I thought I was crazy for wearing my 1911 around my neck!

 

[DancesWithKnives]

Nice!

Unless you've already done so, would you mind making a duplicate post over in the axe & hawk forum?

Thanks a lot.

 

[LizardKing]

nice choice

I checked out your site, your Daughters are hot, How did that happen?

are they single?

Interested in long distance relationships?

 

[Nosamk]

I'm sure you an Rob will make MILLIONS!!!

 

[Jim Richardson]

As Mark Twain said, "Never use the word metropolis when you get paid the same for city".

Wear that with a camo T and it would be damn near invisible. Wonder how it would look on Tony the Tiger?

 

[tom mayo]

I was the one who told you to look under the table.......if youre gonna quote someone then give them the credit...............right??!!?
gOOd tO mEEt yOu tOO!!

 

[Rob Simonich]

Tom, I hate it when you are right!

 

[Jerry Hossom]

Me too!

 

[Vampire Gerbil]

Good Evening.
Please forgive my ruditude at not respnding to the enormous amount of responses here. Thinking up that Neck Hatchet angle really did a number on my brain and it took me a while to recover.

First I would like to thank everyone for their accolades and would like to remind everyone that my autograph is available for a small fee. Email me for details. Be sure to include your credit card number and a photo of any female family members above the age of 18. If you have pets, lemme see them too.

For an update on the Neck Hatchet, Click Here!

Now then, the responses:
Jim Richardson said,

Wear that with a camo T and it would be damn near invisible.

Well Jim, check the post HERE and you'll see that it disappears on black shirt as well!

Nosamk said,

I'm sure you an Rob will make MILLIONS!!!

Yes, we will. But you'll still have to pay for my autograph.

John Frederick said,

Wow! And I thought I was crazy for wearing my 1911 around my neck!

The 1911's grip safety can catch a piece of your neckflesh accidentally and hurt really, really bad! You're crazy alright!

samhell said,

Be careful of your nipples carrying that thing around your neck.

No problem there, Sam. They got sliced off the first time I tried taking it off. No big deal, really. Nipples on a guy are superflous anyway.

Dexter Ewing said,

I love the look of Rob's hatchet.

Actually, DE, it's mine.. MINE... MINE, ALL MINE, I SAY!!
Err... sorry... forgot the meds again.. just took 'em.. all better now.

LizardKing said,

I checked out your site, your Daughters are hot, How did that happen?

One word, Lizard, ADOPTION. (Yes, I read your other questions and you're getting the answer here)

MAURICE said,

they're mine

Morris, due to the fact that I have taken my meds, I shan't give the answer you deserve. Please see my pre-medicated response to Dexter and pretend I'm talking to you. I am.

rdangerer said,

I think the word you were looking for was Entremaneur.

Yep, it DOES look a lot better... something still seems wrong tho. Oh well, I'll just chalk it up to those times that no matter HOW many times ya look at a word, it just seems wrong.. words like cat, duck and disestablishmentarianism are good examples.

Gollnicksaid,

He's hard to find because if he turns sideways, he's so thin that he disappears - The trick is to look for his hat.

Thanks for the advice, Golly. Too late to help me for that show, so I had to settle for floor hunting instead. By the way, that's the shortest damned post you ever made. I hope you're feeling better now!

Shrike9 said,

When you get you're gut trimmed down I get dibs on the belly buster next

Shrike, perhaps you're unaware of this but I'm getting over a particularly deadly and dreadful disease.
Yes, I Vampire Gerbil, was striken with ANOREXIA! I'm all better now tho. I used to be MUCH better. In fact, two years ago, I weighed 80 pounds more than I do now! Come to think of it, maybe I'm not as better as I thought!
(Oh, and tell the fighter jocks at Nellis I'm PO'ed at 'em! They did a flyby over my truck the other night and the damned alarm didn't shut off. Now it's all effed up. )

MAURICE said,

and it hurt too much,so i stopped.
i may have to do the samething with a raven..

Morris, as I have no clue as to what the hell you're trying to say, please see my response to Dexter again. It's fun to yell at you.

Rob Simonich said,

I think if you wore that jogging it would make a nice chest hair shaver and nipple callus trimmer!

Rob, as I have mentioned, there's no nipples left, let alone calluses.... wait a minute... you have CALLUSES on 'em?!?!? You're nuttier than I thought! I may have to re-think our profit sharing plan... something like where I get 50%, Vampire Gerbil gets 50%, Lorena gets 12% and you share that with her, or something like that.

Dances and Cougar I shall refrain from responding as you didn't publicly worship me. That's alright. I'm hardly crying at all.
I'm lying.
You heartless souls!!!

Tom Mayo said,

I was the one who told you to look under the table.......if youre gonna quote someone then give them the credit...............right??!!?

and

gOOd tO mEEt yOu tOO!!

Tom, Yes, it is true that you told me to look under the table for Rob. I apologize for not singling you out, but you were one of approximately 87 people who gave me the exact same advice. I thought that naming all those people might take away from them reading about what is truly important: ME! It's obvious that I have a disturbing need for attention, and having to even mention another person's name in one of my posts is quite painful for me. As Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, "Well, that's enough about me, Dahling. What do YOU think of my new hairdoo?" I'm just like Zsa Zsa, but with bigger tits.
And it WAS great meeting you (Oh Lord, I finally said something I meant at this post!! I was doing SOO WELL up til now too!) I'm still gonna make a page that depicts my version of that day, and you're involved... so don't feel slighted.. at least until you read about our trip to the local drag bar where you got all drunk and wore that mini-skirt and approached the table where the Hell's Angels were...
Well, I don't wanna ruin it for everyone. They'll have to wait.

Rob Simonich said,

Tom, I hate it when you are right!

Rob, even though you didn't address me in that one, I'm still gonna say "Well, at least you don't have to hate very often... at all!"

Jerry Hossom said,

Me too!

Jerry, See previous response to Rob. I also see that you're somwhat quiet about the topic. I guess you're so excited about our new project, the "ear-fighter" that you don't want to lose your composure. I realize that being a business associate with the likes of me can cause one great joy and anquish, so I shall not push the issue.
I MUST ask for a minor advance in our future profits however. Do you happen to have a few hundred thousand bucks lying around? If not, howzabout a nice cocker spaniel?



Now I shall depart, and dream of new ideas until my eyes bleed milk.
Goodnight,
VG

 

[tom mayo]