Man,I'm cool !

L

Lone Hunter

Joined
Mar 2, 2000
Messages
1,526
So the kids got both the downstairs tv's in use,so I go up to our bedroom to watch a show.I'm lying on the new big fluffy quilt my wife just bought,when I take out my MT LCC and start to play with it.I set it down open on the quilt,when I get an idea I wonder if I press the back of my hand into the quilt and slide it toward the knife,I can come up with the knife in my closed fist?Worked great,I wonder if I can do it faster?Opps the blade disappears into the quilt
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then comes put the other side."say dear where did you get that quilt"? oh just wondering.
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O.K., I must be cool, too. I was talking to my wife while she was putting away the groceries, flicking open my Endura. She was putting some stuff in the fridge when the Endura flies out of my hand and sticks in our (then brand new) kitchen table. I move to pull the knife out just as she was shuting the fridge door.....busted. Luckily she reminds me of that experience every time she sees that mark.
 
I was toying with a STIFF KISS and thought "man this would make a good thrower" and immediately tested the theory by flinging it across the room into an innocent cushion. Worked great but the cushion was made as a present from girlfriend's sister. D'oh!
 
O.K., so I was playing with my first knife, a standard SAK, when my mom warned me to be careful with the blade. I told her that I was perfectly safe, as I did not have the blade opened, just the nail file--which looks quite similar. To prove this, I pressed the "nail file" against my palm--whoops, she was right, it was the blade and I was bleeding!

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"I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin' every minute of it!"--Kramer
 
So my son ate cereal in the living room chair (he's 3) some of it dried on the cushion and got really stuck there. I was using my knife to try to scrape it off. Got it A little off angle and sliced A nice gash in it. Flipped it over and the wife hasn't noticed yet. I feel stupid.
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Brian
AKTI# A000991
b.teel@lycos.com
 
O.K., so I was playing with my first knife, a standard SAK, when my mom warned me to be careful with the blade. I told her that I was perfectly safe as I did not have the blade opened, only the nail file. To prove this I pressed the "nail file" into my palm--whoops, she was right, it was the blade and I was bleeding!

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"I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin' every minute of it!"--Kramer
 
used to have two pillows and a comforter that I used to stab repeadedly. Unfortunately they were feather pillows and for a year or two feathers inhabited my room all the time. I dont stab my pillows anymore.
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It was raining one Saturday afternoon while my wife and I were camping, so we were forced to prepare and eat lunch in the tent. I was slicing the bread and my wife sez something to the effect of "you're going to cut our tent if you're not careful." Unfortunately all I heard was "you're going blah to blah blah our blah." Guess whose tent floor now has a nice clean slice in it? Oops.
 
When I was 15 that about 16 years ago. Our youth group was taking a trip to Cedar Point and I brought along a butterfly knife to play with on the bus trip. I was pretty good with it and the bus driver, a guy in his early 20's, really liked it and ask if he could try it. He was starting to get fairly fast at opening the blade but, as we all know, if you open it with the wrong handle in your hand you will get a very nice cut on your finger. Well, this happened and he cut his finger to the bone. Luckly we were almost home and he could get to the hospital fairly quickly.

Phil

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www.2thehilt.com
 
Okay I'm cool. About 3 weeks ago I was typing and flipping my Bali around (like always) when something interesting happened at IRC and the Bali went flying. It landed on one of my wife's favorite plates with a loud shattering sound. About 1 week my wife found the plate.

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Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me.
 
So there I am......it's 1985 and I just got married. Me and the missus are in a mall and I stop at the knife store. "Let me see the Spyderco Worker" says I, to the clerk. "Be careful" says he, "These things are sharp". "Right" says I, the one who knows all.

As I examine the knife, I suddenly hand it back and we leave the store, me with my left hand in my pocket. The pocket that's getting wet. With blood. My blood.

My wife still feels the need to tell folks of that little incident. Usually she's laughing at the time, too. Dave
 
It occurred on one of those long road trips (and all by my lonesome). Second day of the drive I decided to get real bored.....

WOW.....I've got 3 of my usual daily carries in the truck. And within arms reach!

Did I already say that I got bored?

Man! It wasn't boredom ~ I was brain dead on this particular day!

Anyway......pretty much in the middle of no where, jammin' to some cool tunes and I decided to unbore myself (at 70 MPH). Took my Microtech SOCOM DA out of the center console and began opening and closing it. First in the auto mode and then in the manual mode. Several hours later my proficiency level was superb! Lightning fast! So proud! !

Flicked that baby open (in the auto mode) and somehow the knife ended up in an airborne state! Fear and panic rushed through the "pea" that is centered between my ears! For this rather long, extremely pointed and severely sharp serrated tanto object was twisting madly slightly above my head. Nanoseconds doesn't describe how quick the brain can process data! Believe me! As my brain processed my fear it kept returning to the critical info ~ "will it stick or slash and where in the hell is the nearest hospital!"

As I said......the brain was screamin'! Release the wheel to protect my arms? Remember 70 MPH. Spread my legs to prevent a pentration to a thigh or other precious areas? The neck? Oh sweet Jesus! The chest? The stomach? A calf? A foot (I'm driving barefoot)? Oh Christ I said to myself....... "Hail Mary full of grace...."

This friggin' thing is gonna bite ~ and bite badly!

It landed (seemed like it was aloft forever)!And bite it did! Hit me right in the lower inside portion of my left bicep! Oh no...... And not one of those glancing blows! It sunk in approx. one and a half inches into my arm.

Now I'm driving down the road (70 MPH and slowing rapidly) left hand on the wheel and I'm looking at this knife that I love so much protruding from my bicep! Of course, I'm loosing precious red fluids from the "uncoolness" of my arm!

Got the truck stopped and did the first aid thing to myself.....while I called myself every nasty thing in the book! This was bad! I mean real bad! !

Nearest hospital turned out to be 40 minutes away. Lost a bit of blood, $1200 for ER visit/plastic surgeon and earned 35 stitches.

I wear my stupidity badge proudly! NOT!

Lessons Learned:

#1: If you get bored ~ there are other things to play with besides deadly objects!

#2: Men are stupid when they get macho!

#3: "Caution: Extremely sharp object inside!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GigOne
"Livin' Life - Full Throttle"
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"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon & a Walter Brend Model 2!"
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Well, even though I'm not that cool (fortunately) I once saw a Boy Scout stabing a picnick table with a SAK. he was stabing away from himself with the blade up. I issued the standard warning of removing a corner of the totin' chip and telling him that it could close on his finger. he argued that he did it all the time and that it never closed before. I turned around and continued with the conversation I had been engaged it. About 3 seconds later I hear him yell that his finger got cut when his knife closed on it. He wouldn't let any see it except for the head medical officer, who by amazing coincidense was a women. I still think he saw my warning as a way to get medical treatment
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from her. The joke was on him though because he went to the hospital for stitches.

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"Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants;
I'm here before you to stand behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about...
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday
There's a women's meeting for men only.
Free admission, pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It's a long crawl back to the garden
So get me off my hands and knees
'Cause the church keeps spittin' me out
Now we all know where they're comin' from...
We just don't know where they're goin'."

-Jesse Foust
 
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