My apologies.

S

shane justice

Joined
May 12, 2003
Messages
1,606
A recent post by my buddies John and Craig reminded me I have not been a good friend to them...or to any of you who have only wished me well.

A long series of medical mishaps meant to help me...have put me in a sorry state.

The worst being that as a result of an operation on a disc in my neck...I suffered a Brachial Plexiopathy that has left me in a huge amount of pain on a daily basis.

I have lost most of my strength...that was at one time substantial....and a lot of the muscle memory that allowed me to do some pretty good grinding on my forged blades.

Right now I have a bunch of stuff that may never get finished...let alone ever making a try at an ABS JS stamp....

But finding out about the death of a friend...who fought for a long time just to keep making blades...and doing what he wanted to do...sort of brought me back....

It has been one thing after another...they took out my gall blader this summer...who knows what they will want next...about all I got left is my bad attitude...

Anyhow...I can still type...so I will try to keep up a bit better in here...with the little computer time I can STEAL from, work....SHHHHH...you did not hear the STEAL part!

God bless all you beautiful people.

And again I am sorry for letting my responsibilities as a friend lapse.

Shane
 
Shane, no worries. Come and go as you can, and let us know how we can help. Sounds like you have turned a corner, and i will try and remember to pray for you more.

:)

Tom
 
Do your friends completly understand what a brachial plexiopathy is? do they understand how hard it can be for you to sit a tap at a keyboard? do they understand how even mild pain endured daily over long periods of time can disable a person?

Shane, you still have the lords most precious gift.....your life, such as it is. work everyday to better your health and your situation/condition. to hell with all else, your true friends will understand and be there for you, wether you are sending emails or posting or not. while it is nice to hear from someone you are concerned about, your friends will have to understand that because of your condition, normal everyday activities may be an extra burden and that it may not be possible for you to be the type of friend that they want, to me it seems that they are being a bit selfish in regards to you and that maybe they need a little reminder about how real friends treat each other.
i may be wrong,and i hope they are only trying to motivate you, only you can decide that. If i am wrong , i apologize.

post when you can, brother,well be here, sending smoke your way.
 
Shane, hope you can find a pain solution. Yvsa has some experience, might check with him.

I hope it diminishes, and you are able to get on with what you want to do.

You will be in my thoughts.

Be well and safe.



Kis
 
We're always here for our own, Shane. Whatever you need to do, do it. Whatever you need from us, just ask. We're just happy to have you around again. Smoke, prayers, and well wishes to you and yours.
 
I appreciate all you replies....

Karda, I have avoided telling my friends...because...the last few years it has been one thing after the nuther...and I try like Hell not to be a whiner...

What happened was...I was having shooting pains down my neck and left arm. The Docs took a look and said a disc was severely bulged in my neck and had caused my spinal cord to be a flat instead of a round. SO they needed to operate. AND they didn't even want me walking around for fear I would cause inoperable damage.

SO while I was on the table...they hit a "DEEPPOCKET BLEEDER" which they damn near did not get stopped....I lost 4 units of blood...(Is that a lot?)

WHile in recovery...three days later...they told me to sleep in a chair...I was trying to push myself up....and out of the chair when something just sort of tore loose in my neck/shoulder....I nearly passed out...and sitting there trying to catch my breath...went into dry heaves...everybody was asleep in the house...so I just sat there....I went back to my Doc...he looked me over and said..."Well it doesn't have anytihng to do with your neck...so you will need to consult another Doctor." With that he went on Chridstmas vacation. The pain was frankly...immense. They sent me in for an MRI to make sure I wasn't hemmorhaging...I wasn't...they couldn't SEE anything wrong..... so I went back to one of this guys associates...I actually sat in the surgery waiting room while this guy was in surgery waiting for him to get done...when he came out...he looked me over...and..said....well...it is too early to know...we will have to wait until the swelling goes down to know anything....so I waited 3 months...In the meantime...every day got worse...my right arm began to shrink...I couldn't stand up straight....my shoulder began to slide away from my body until it was 4 inches lower than my left shoulder...

A once strong, body was deformed....ONce the 3 month wait was up I went back...they looked at me and did double takes...you could see the horror when I took off my shirt...they said...we need to get you in with a neurologist...OK...I said ok...so I waited another month for the nerve study...

When I went in the guy said...Oh man...you got a brachial plexiopathy...even had a picture in a book....He says...it IS a damn shame they did not see this when it happened...steroids to relieve the inflammation would have increased your long term prognosis significantly....so he tells me I have a 70% chance of retaininig 60% FUNCTION within 3 years. There is no way to know if I will ever regain any muscular stregth...and the shoulder will not ever return to a nomral position. Which makes swinging a hammer really tough. It just wants to go any which way.

I found out that the BRACHIAL PLEXUS is the area where all of the nerves to the shoudler and arms and parts of the back,chest and neck all meet and run into the neck...it is a huge sheath of nerves...wrapped in millions of layers. Nerves injured like this...just RAGE....and there is not a truly effective way to fight NERVE PAIN. It does not respond to OPOIDS...or other drugs.

It is nothing like bone or muscle pain.

That was 2 years ago? I guess. Since then it has been a struggle just to smile at my kids and be a good Dad...active...and fun. To say nothing of being a good husband...or a friend.

I have been in a black ugly world for a long time now....there's not much hope.

Especially when I found out that years of commiting so many of the fine motor skills involved in knife making to memory...vanished with the injury. It was like being a baby again...gross motor skills are ok...the really precise one...forget it.

There's my whine.

For you martial artists...who have been trained to attack the brachial plexus..and doubt its effectiveness...DON'T. It WILL shut you down, immediatley. The best attack is a hammer fist or an axe kick shearing the shoulder from the body. Even if there are no broken bones the damage to this nerve bundle WILL tunr off even the most determined adversary. Hard to fight when you are puking.

Did I mention they took my gall bladder out this summer? No?

Shane
 
Mr. Justice, you have my sympathy. All of my sympathy.

That is truly a nightmare rant. I'm an old soldier and honestly, I've not heard or seen anything worse from the battlefield (at least nothing survivable).

I admire your stamina and tenacity, and I hope you're completely wrong about having "...not much hope."

That "bad attitude" you mention has got me through a lot. I'm hoping it gets you through this, too.

And that, one day, you recover from this pain. Smoke and prayers going up from Virginia.
 
There is no way I can conceptualize the pain and torment you are experiencing on so many levels.

All I can say is smoke up.
 
G'day Shane,

I've read your recent posts and have found them informative and insightful, especially what you said about the added bonus of buying from HI and how that helps the folk in Nepal as well as us getting a top notch product.

As to pain and ill health, well I have been medically retired since 1986 and I turned 52 on October 16. Amongst many chronic health issues is that my spinal cord is slowly being severed due to my L3 and L4 vertebrae going their different ways and I can not have them surgically stabilized. As you said, folk suffering from nerve pain don't get much relief and the bad moods, even depression, can be pretty much a regular companion.

Your posts have allowed me to get out of my own head, away from my worries and concerns and think about Khuks and swords. I hope that despite your pain you can continue to post. Knowing more of your story will make them even more special.

Best Regards and Warmest Wishes,

bruce
 
Hey Shane, you're among friends here.
First off, let it out. I know you don't want to be a bother to others or be seen as a whiner, but let me tell you first hand: it does you no good to hold it in. I was exactly that type. I'd just suck it up and drive on. It did worse than nothing for me. It made people figure "Aw hell, he can take it." and got no consideration for when I really couldn't do something, and was expected to perform like everyone else who didn't have my problem.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but this is a major problem caused by their inaction, and you might want to talk to a malpractice attorney. I'm really not big on lawyers and certainly not lawsuits, but something that, let's face it, is going to affect you the rest of your life, no matter how much you learn to compensate, may well be worth it. I'm sorry for what you went through, and are going through. They should have jumped on it.

I understand what you mean by nerve pain. The neuropathies I suffer feel like someone driving nails into my feet and hands at times, and there's just nothing that can be done. Pain meds don't work, and even meds that raise the activation threshold for the nerves won't help, I'd still get a good amount of pain, and have almost no motor control at the same time.

Whenever you nee dto vent, just go ahead and do it, it might not help a lot, but it does help.

Prayers out for you.
 
Thanks for sharing your experience. It is of value.

I hope you find some relief from the pain. Prayers sent from SC.

(I second the suggestion to consult with an attorney. It would be good to know what the applicable statute of limitations is.)

Eric
 
Shane I've been in chronic pain off and on, mostly on, since May 19th 1994 when I had my first back fusion outta five. My last back surgery was June 25th 2007 and my second and so far last neck fusion was done on October 8th 2007.
My first neck fusion that failed was done on August 15th 2007 so I had three spinal fusions bang, bang, bang, of last year!
So I think I can relate a bit to what you're saying and what you're going through.:(

After a very long time of consideration I finally broke down this year and on April 3rd, I think it was, had an Intrathecal Medtronics Pain Pump implanted so that instead of having to take so many high powered oral pain meds a very, very, small amount of morphine could be trickled directly into my spinal fluid via my spinal cord.
It hasn't been the end all of *The End All* but it has improved my pain level a great damned deal and enabled me to drop the methadone my pain management physician gave me for pain from 20 mgs t.i.d. to 5 mgs t.i.d. and I'm trying to drop that down to 5 mgs b.i.d. as I can....

I haven't had the problems you've had as we each have our own burdens to bear. Mine happens to be in the form of Stills Disease, thankfully in remission, Congestive Heart Failure, Degenerative Bone Disease, among others.

And Shane even though you're several years younger than me; my problems started when I was 54 and still strong and in damned good shape. Barbie and I had been married for 6 years, I was making damned good money and life was better than it ever had been for me so when I screwed my back up at work I felt totally crapped on.
And especially after finally pretty well getting over the fact I was given 5 years to live in 1984.
It's getting late, I'm tired and rambling so I'll shut up for now but if you want to talk drop me an email through BFC and I'll get back to you.

Other than that hang in, and don't let the bastards, life, get you down, anymore than you can help anyway. It's not all bad.;)



....
 
Shane...

I had an especially hard time last fall. I really neglected almost all of my friends and family, including my brothers and sisters. I had less excuse than you, and it still almost killed me.

I don't have a lot of faith left, I reckon. In your case, I can only hope and pray you will receive a miracle, a miracle that will let Emi and John Henry know the physical as well as the moral and spiritual strength of their father many years from now. The universe sometimes works unexplainably.

Hang in there, buddy.

Love,

John
 
Shane,

My prayers and hopes are with you. I am so sorry for what you are going through, and hope that you get some relief. As stated, don't worry about other folks ~ use your efforts to take care of yourself and your family.

I agree with Cpl Punishment and think that you should pursue a medical malpractice suit. Not to make someone "pay", but to provide for your family as your capacity to work is diminished. Also, you will want any medical bills from here on out paid for by them as it might not always be covered thru your insurance. If you have to change insurance they might get you with a "pre-existing" clause.

Nerve pain is the worst. I had a anterior/posterior fusion of L5-S1 this spring; it fixed some of the nerve issues I had, but exasperated others. One of my legs hurt so bad that I couldn't stand to have even clothing touch it for months. It has slowly gotten better, I hope that you somehow can get relief also.

Have you seen a physiatrist or pain specialist about your condition? Also, have you tried taking amytryptilene or any of the anti seizure medications for the nerve pain? I was able to reduce my pain using them by about 30%, but they made me apathetic and couldn't perform at work at the level I needed to.
 
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