My favorite victim

P

Plumber576

Joined
Jul 17, 2004
Messages
744
Ok, I have a confession, and wondering how many of you have to confess the same thing. My knife and I have a favorite victim...
paper.

Any of you notice how when you are watching a movie, you will take a piece of junk (snail) mail and make spaghetti out of it?

Or a supscription card in a magazine, or a random piece of cardboard.

It's not an all the time thing, but if the tv is on and there is nothing better to do, out comes the commander.
 
rope or webbing typically fall beneath my wrath, or boredom, depending on what's on tv. fire hose is fun as well, real tough stuff.
 
Our (Papa Johns) garlic sauce cups come in boxes with 5 layers of cups seperated by cardboard dividers. You can tell the nights I work, because all of them are sliced into ribbons.
 
paper falls under the deadly force of my blade :p i'll just sit there making long slices for no apparent reason besides marveling at how it cuts through paper :D.
 
I am known at work as "THE PAPER CUTTIN FOOL"
I like the way my hideaway slices and dices along with my other EDC's (large sebenza and vic explorer) and i must admit they are scary sharp....
 
I usually break out the crock sticks during a bout of television boredom (assuming, of course I'm not motivated enough to turn the F'in thing off and find somethin' else to do)

of course the crock sticks result in sharpness testing which results in arm shaving which results in my wifes screeching that I look like a damn freak with no hair ever appearing on my left forearm, and she can't stand touching said body part cause it feels like a wire brush.....this has gone on for around seven years now. I swear if I don't find a way to curb forementioned habit it's gonna cause a divorce one day. :D
 
I stopped up at a friends cabin in the woods awhile back and I didn't have a pen or pencil to write a note, so I took a Post-It and made about 50 or so spaghetti curls on the one side then stuck the Post-it on the inside door.

A whole year goes by and I run into my friend at a Christmas party, he walks up to me and says"Were you upta my place in the woods last December?"

I asked what made him think it was me, and he pulled this shredded Post-It out of his wallet and said,"When I saw the paper, then I saw all the little slices, I figured it had to be you, I don't know anyone else who can put an edge that sharp on a knife."

Ever since then, whenever I leave a note, all I do is slice a Post-It or piece of paper and leave it behind, everyone who knows me knows the note was from me too. :cool:

And in answer to you question, no piece of paper, junk mail or magazine subscription card is safe in my house, hell I even got yelled at for absentmindedly cutting up my daughters homework, imagine trying to explain to your teacher that your Dad cut up your homework. :rolleyes:
 
My favorite victims are squirrels, but like Knifeclerk, I hate picking up the pieces ;) ! Okay, I'm only kidding. My faves are old cotton washcloths. I don't randomly cut them out of boredom, though. I check to see if a knife will cut under its own weight after I sharpen them, and washloths or old t-shirts are always my victims.
 
I lay a knife blade flat across a bunched up paper towel and draw long the edge, putting no pressure laterally. A razor sharp blade should make a clean line cut this way and those little slits cause me great satisfaction.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top