- Joined
- Dec 20, 2005
- Messages
- 2,045
In 2014, my 6 year old kindergartner accidentally brought a blunt butter knife to elementary school with no intention of hurting anyone, but the new Principal suspended him in the most despicable way possible while filing false reports to the police department and CPS as a means of intimidation -and there was nothing we could do about it.
Zero tolerance is what it is: pure liberal stupidity -but threatening to take someones child away and branding a kindergartener for life over ones ego is inexcusable, but it could happen to you too.
Prior to this incident, our youngest son had been there for 2+ years with no incident, his teacher described him as "an angel with no problems whatsoever" in our parent teacher conference right before this happened, our older son was there 4 years going on 5 (also with no incident). Everything was going great with the previous Principal (but he left to work in Beverly Hills).
Why did he have a butter knife in his pocket? That morning, he had a box of Legos and he wanted to open it by himself. I handed him a butter knife and after he opened the box, he put it in his pocket (I didn't know he did that, but he told me later that he wanted to be like me ... I used to carry a small pocket knife daily for tasks around the shop).
He suddenly remembered he had the butter knife in his pocket after getting out of the van during the chaotic morning drop off -but before he could say anything to his mom, she drove off. He didn't know what to do, but leave it in there. During first period another kindergartner saw the handle sticking out of his pocket and told the teacher, she dragged him to the Principals office.
I received a call from the School Secretary who informed me that my son had been suspended for bringing a knife to school and was being questioned by the Principal and two Psychologists for almost an hour already and I should get up there as soon as possible. By the time I had arrived, another 15 minutes had passed.
Upon arrival at the school, I noticed that the meeting room door was wide open. I looked in and saw my son wiping tears from his eyes while being aggressively harassed by these group of adults led by the Principal. She instructed the Secretary to shut the door on me, while I stood a few feet from the room. I waited for a few minutes, it didnt seem right, so I knocked on the door and entered the meeting room.
The Principal was rude and antagonistic. Instead of calmly speaking to me, she escalated the situation. I asked "Don't you think you're blowing things out of proportion? He's a kindergartner. All this over a butter knife? She ran up to me and aggressively motioned with her hands a large blade and screamed He had a 6 inch kitchen knife! inches away from my face.
I replied Really? Show me the knife then." She again strongly insisted that it was a 6 inch kitchen knife. I asked to see the knife again, and she exploded into a fit of rage. She pointed at my son, stared straight at him and screamed across the room that she would have him taken away and put in foster care immediately and I would never see him again unless I left the room!"
I told her I would leave the room if she showed me the knife. She then made a scene, pacing back and forth, yelling "Who has the knife?!! Who has the 6 inch kitchen knife?!!" while pointing at random people. Then she started screaming Call 911! Call 911! Call 911 now!!! to the Secretary, who looked confused. I guess the Principal didn't want everyone to see that it was a butter knife -as it would make her choice of actions seem ridiculous.
She demanded that I remain in her office with her while we waited for the police to arrive. I obliged as I had done nothing wrong. After she repeatedly stated that my son had a kitchen knife multiple times, I finally asked "Maybe it was a kitchen knife?" (Although we did not possess a 6 inch kitchen knife in our home). She gave me this odd smile, sat behind her desk, opened the desk drawer and handed me a blunt butter knife. I recognized it immediately -it was the one I handed my son that morning for his Legos.
Two Sheriffs arrived, and she dismissively waved them away with the back of her hand saying "You may go" while seated behind her desk without even making eye contact. On the way out she gloatingly said she did us a favor as she could have permanently expelled my 6 year old son, but was only suspending him for two days. Later we discovered that a few hours after we left she pulled his brother out of class (who was 10 at the time) and asked him loaded questions of which the answers were twisted into accusations of child abuse.
During dinner that evening, we were surprised by Child Services knocking on our door, along with 4 police officers. She basically came up with the most vile crap possible to get back at me for telling her she was blowing things out of proportion earlier that day. We complied and invited them in as we had nothing to hide. They aggressively searched our home for anything out of the ordinary, split us up into separate rooms, strip searched the children to look for bruises, and questioned everyone separately.
The next day, we received a suspension letter from the school (which would now be part of our son's permanent educational record). She claimed that our son deliberately brought a kitchen knife to school to kill people" -which is a damning lie that he would have to carry and apply to college with.
She requested a meeting the following Monday. On the way to the meeting, my wife tried to see our son's Kindergarten teacher as she knew he did not intend to hurt anyone. My wife didn't even get a single word in, as the other Kindergarten teacher told her to leave. She tried again after school, but our son's teacher would literally shun her she just kept turning her back to her and pretending not to hear her. (I later accidentally ran into this teacher a few months later at our kid's swim school and asked her about her behavior, she said she was instructed to do so by her boss -the Principal).
In the meeting, the Principal demanded that we sign a Psychological waiver -which allowed her to do anything she wanted to our son while he was in her school. I refused, we immediately removed both our sons and enrolled them in private schools until the end of the semester at the cost of over $11K for a few months -with much more financial hurt since. There was no way that this school could ever be a safe environment for our children again.
The youngest had it the worst while we waited for the case to close. He went to a Montessori as it was the only private school with space available. It was after a week, when the teacher told us that all he did was stand in the corner all day. I asked her if she could help him do something interesting, she said This is a Montessori, if he wants to stand in the corner all day, thats what hell do. I tried showing him some of the activities, such as transferring beans from one jar to another with a spoon, but hes a smart kid, it didnt interest him. He would quietly tear up as we walked to class, and there he stood for months until the case was closed and I could do nothing about it. (He used to be the first one ready for school daily, he used to love going to school and now he had to go through this over a harmless mistake).
Months of stress and sleepless nights passed, as nothing is done quickly in California; but eventually the child services case was closed in our favor and we were deemed innocent. According to the law, I could pick up a copy of the report the Principal filed after the case was closed -prior to closure, I was not allowed to see it. The report was so full of lies: she falsely accused me of punching my children in the face, having a house full of loaded guns that were laying around -although she never asked anyone if there were any firearms in the home. She also said I kicked the meeting room door in and threatened her and her staff with a switchblade knife. She asked me what my occupation was when I was in her office, once she found out I was a knifemaker, she also mislead authorities by stating that my sons stabbed each other with knives I made for them. Everything on the report was completely untrue!
We went to the School Board, who passed us off to the School District, to file a formal complaint. After requesting that I put my complaint in writing and ignoring me for 3 months after I did everything that was asked, my patience was lost and a website dedicated to this whole experience was created and the link was e-mailed to several parents -within minutes, I received a nasty threat that the School District would sue me for slander. I told them once a response was received, the site would be down. I needed closure to move on.
The District quickly responded after the website, and they did the absolute minimum: a few minor words on my sons record was changed (to make it sound worse) and the children were offered re-enrollment to a different public school in the district. According to the school, only the Principal could change the record, and she did it in the worst way possible.
I also tried hiring a lawyer to fight this. Most attorneys didnt want to fight with the School District as they had limitless funds and a team of lawyers. Another problem was that the most revealing evidence of her lies was on the police and CPS report, but it could not be used in court as she is a mandated reporter so she cannot be responsible for what is filed. Its a loophole that she obviously abused. The attorneys who were semi-interested in helping ended up charging us hundreds of dollars just for advice and they wanted to put my son on the stand Eventually we gave up, as we all had gone through enough.
I doubt she ever received any formal discipline for her abusive behavior, misuse of authority and public services, as well as filing false official reports. California state employees salaries are made public each year and her salary went up from $97K to $106K. (Even higher than the Superintendent who made $87K). It was like nothing had ever happened.
We purchased a house in the city 5 years prior (we chose the city because of the reputation of the school district and the fond memories I had as a child there). It was absolutely disgusting that a proportion of my very high property taxes went into the pockets of these assholes, and since we could no longer happily live in such a toxic environment, I practically gave away our home to the first offer we had.
There was no way that we could trust this citys public school system ever again and we could not afford the high annual private tuition cost as it was over $50k per year, so we moved east to Riverside county.
The children attended another private school at half the cost, but suddenly towards the end of the year, the Board out of nowhere fired the Head of School and Vice Head of school, then half the teachers left in protest. The move was so that the Board could hire a friend from church with no educational background, he had a degree in Recreation, to lead the school. For us, a sense of community was lost and it was another example of a School Board/ District not doing the right thing. The schools future financial stability was also in question, as half the students left too.
We withdrew our children and put them in public school temporarily while considering a move to Europe (after a decade of being a parent with 2 children in the US school system, I wasnt too impressed). The kids in public school were complete thugs: talking about cocaine, meth, bathsalts, other drugs, there were major racial divisions, as well as choking and beating my younger son during recess because he stood too close to the basketball court ... I was at the end of my rope, things had been on a downward spiral for too long, so we moved overseas.
After moving, the new school in Europe offered us a copy of our children's American school records, we accepted as we were interested to see what was in it. These days, school officials in the US can slip confidential files into your child's record (as school records are passed directly from school to school).
There was a secret file on our son, filed by the Principal without our knowledge falsely stating that "he brought a knife to school to kill people and he had a father who threatened staff with a switchblade knife" -all of which was completely untrue (yet we cannot fight it or provide our version of events). Apparently, it's linked to his social security number, along with shot records and scores -it seems that the public school system and/ or Common Core are "databasing" and "blacklisting" children. From the records, it looks like in private schools, theyll just boot your kids, public schools will database them.
This Principal started off in the district as a PE Aide with a crap Liberal Arts degree from Dominguez Hills (which is a joke of an educational institution), she wasn't even initially hired as a teacher, just sat there long enough to get promoted -and couldnt even write the suspension record without multiple grammatical errors. It seems like they will hire anyone to be a teacher in California. No wonder the level of education has been dropping like crazy over the past few decades.
I wasn't willing to let this unqualified, egomaniacal woman "pipeline to prison" my son for nothing. He's a good kid. They both are -and have had to start over again, and again, and again, and again because of this Principals destructive behavior.
In my personal opinion, if you can afford the cost: private, religious or home school are the best choices for educating your child in the US. Otherwise, in the public system, its out of your hands, they practically own your kids and can pretty much do whatever they want to them; while you cant do anything about it -and they will get away with it.
Or one could just develop ADD, be distracted by all the latest nonsense news, gadgets, apps or other forms of bullshit entertainment and not have to deal with what really is important.
I wonder whats on TV tonight?
(-Just my 2 cents on life. Be well.)
Zero tolerance is what it is: pure liberal stupidity -but threatening to take someones child away and branding a kindergartener for life over ones ego is inexcusable, but it could happen to you too.
Prior to this incident, our youngest son had been there for 2+ years with no incident, his teacher described him as "an angel with no problems whatsoever" in our parent teacher conference right before this happened, our older son was there 4 years going on 5 (also with no incident). Everything was going great with the previous Principal (but he left to work in Beverly Hills).
Why did he have a butter knife in his pocket? That morning, he had a box of Legos and he wanted to open it by himself. I handed him a butter knife and after he opened the box, he put it in his pocket (I didn't know he did that, but he told me later that he wanted to be like me ... I used to carry a small pocket knife daily for tasks around the shop).
He suddenly remembered he had the butter knife in his pocket after getting out of the van during the chaotic morning drop off -but before he could say anything to his mom, she drove off. He didn't know what to do, but leave it in there. During first period another kindergartner saw the handle sticking out of his pocket and told the teacher, she dragged him to the Principals office.
I received a call from the School Secretary who informed me that my son had been suspended for bringing a knife to school and was being questioned by the Principal and two Psychologists for almost an hour already and I should get up there as soon as possible. By the time I had arrived, another 15 minutes had passed.
Upon arrival at the school, I noticed that the meeting room door was wide open. I looked in and saw my son wiping tears from his eyes while being aggressively harassed by these group of adults led by the Principal. She instructed the Secretary to shut the door on me, while I stood a few feet from the room. I waited for a few minutes, it didnt seem right, so I knocked on the door and entered the meeting room.
The Principal was rude and antagonistic. Instead of calmly speaking to me, she escalated the situation. I asked "Don't you think you're blowing things out of proportion? He's a kindergartner. All this over a butter knife? She ran up to me and aggressively motioned with her hands a large blade and screamed He had a 6 inch kitchen knife! inches away from my face.
I replied Really? Show me the knife then." She again strongly insisted that it was a 6 inch kitchen knife. I asked to see the knife again, and she exploded into a fit of rage. She pointed at my son, stared straight at him and screamed across the room that she would have him taken away and put in foster care immediately and I would never see him again unless I left the room!"
I told her I would leave the room if she showed me the knife. She then made a scene, pacing back and forth, yelling "Who has the knife?!! Who has the 6 inch kitchen knife?!!" while pointing at random people. Then she started screaming Call 911! Call 911! Call 911 now!!! to the Secretary, who looked confused. I guess the Principal didn't want everyone to see that it was a butter knife -as it would make her choice of actions seem ridiculous.
She demanded that I remain in her office with her while we waited for the police to arrive. I obliged as I had done nothing wrong. After she repeatedly stated that my son had a kitchen knife multiple times, I finally asked "Maybe it was a kitchen knife?" (Although we did not possess a 6 inch kitchen knife in our home). She gave me this odd smile, sat behind her desk, opened the desk drawer and handed me a blunt butter knife. I recognized it immediately -it was the one I handed my son that morning for his Legos.
Two Sheriffs arrived, and she dismissively waved them away with the back of her hand saying "You may go" while seated behind her desk without even making eye contact. On the way out she gloatingly said she did us a favor as she could have permanently expelled my 6 year old son, but was only suspending him for two days. Later we discovered that a few hours after we left she pulled his brother out of class (who was 10 at the time) and asked him loaded questions of which the answers were twisted into accusations of child abuse.
During dinner that evening, we were surprised by Child Services knocking on our door, along with 4 police officers. She basically came up with the most vile crap possible to get back at me for telling her she was blowing things out of proportion earlier that day. We complied and invited them in as we had nothing to hide. They aggressively searched our home for anything out of the ordinary, split us up into separate rooms, strip searched the children to look for bruises, and questioned everyone separately.
The next day, we received a suspension letter from the school (which would now be part of our son's permanent educational record). She claimed that our son deliberately brought a kitchen knife to school to kill people" -which is a damning lie that he would have to carry and apply to college with.
She requested a meeting the following Monday. On the way to the meeting, my wife tried to see our son's Kindergarten teacher as she knew he did not intend to hurt anyone. My wife didn't even get a single word in, as the other Kindergarten teacher told her to leave. She tried again after school, but our son's teacher would literally shun her she just kept turning her back to her and pretending not to hear her. (I later accidentally ran into this teacher a few months later at our kid's swim school and asked her about her behavior, she said she was instructed to do so by her boss -the Principal).
In the meeting, the Principal demanded that we sign a Psychological waiver -which allowed her to do anything she wanted to our son while he was in her school. I refused, we immediately removed both our sons and enrolled them in private schools until the end of the semester at the cost of over $11K for a few months -with much more financial hurt since. There was no way that this school could ever be a safe environment for our children again.
The youngest had it the worst while we waited for the case to close. He went to a Montessori as it was the only private school with space available. It was after a week, when the teacher told us that all he did was stand in the corner all day. I asked her if she could help him do something interesting, she said This is a Montessori, if he wants to stand in the corner all day, thats what hell do. I tried showing him some of the activities, such as transferring beans from one jar to another with a spoon, but hes a smart kid, it didnt interest him. He would quietly tear up as we walked to class, and there he stood for months until the case was closed and I could do nothing about it. (He used to be the first one ready for school daily, he used to love going to school and now he had to go through this over a harmless mistake).
Months of stress and sleepless nights passed, as nothing is done quickly in California; but eventually the child services case was closed in our favor and we were deemed innocent. According to the law, I could pick up a copy of the report the Principal filed after the case was closed -prior to closure, I was not allowed to see it. The report was so full of lies: she falsely accused me of punching my children in the face, having a house full of loaded guns that were laying around -although she never asked anyone if there were any firearms in the home. She also said I kicked the meeting room door in and threatened her and her staff with a switchblade knife. She asked me what my occupation was when I was in her office, once she found out I was a knifemaker, she also mislead authorities by stating that my sons stabbed each other with knives I made for them. Everything on the report was completely untrue!
We went to the School Board, who passed us off to the School District, to file a formal complaint. After requesting that I put my complaint in writing and ignoring me for 3 months after I did everything that was asked, my patience was lost and a website dedicated to this whole experience was created and the link was e-mailed to several parents -within minutes, I received a nasty threat that the School District would sue me for slander. I told them once a response was received, the site would be down. I needed closure to move on.
The District quickly responded after the website, and they did the absolute minimum: a few minor words on my sons record was changed (to make it sound worse) and the children were offered re-enrollment to a different public school in the district. According to the school, only the Principal could change the record, and she did it in the worst way possible.
I also tried hiring a lawyer to fight this. Most attorneys didnt want to fight with the School District as they had limitless funds and a team of lawyers. Another problem was that the most revealing evidence of her lies was on the police and CPS report, but it could not be used in court as she is a mandated reporter so she cannot be responsible for what is filed. Its a loophole that she obviously abused. The attorneys who were semi-interested in helping ended up charging us hundreds of dollars just for advice and they wanted to put my son on the stand Eventually we gave up, as we all had gone through enough.
I doubt she ever received any formal discipline for her abusive behavior, misuse of authority and public services, as well as filing false official reports. California state employees salaries are made public each year and her salary went up from $97K to $106K. (Even higher than the Superintendent who made $87K). It was like nothing had ever happened.
We purchased a house in the city 5 years prior (we chose the city because of the reputation of the school district and the fond memories I had as a child there). It was absolutely disgusting that a proportion of my very high property taxes went into the pockets of these assholes, and since we could no longer happily live in such a toxic environment, I practically gave away our home to the first offer we had.
There was no way that we could trust this citys public school system ever again and we could not afford the high annual private tuition cost as it was over $50k per year, so we moved east to Riverside county.
The children attended another private school at half the cost, but suddenly towards the end of the year, the Board out of nowhere fired the Head of School and Vice Head of school, then half the teachers left in protest. The move was so that the Board could hire a friend from church with no educational background, he had a degree in Recreation, to lead the school. For us, a sense of community was lost and it was another example of a School Board/ District not doing the right thing. The schools future financial stability was also in question, as half the students left too.
We withdrew our children and put them in public school temporarily while considering a move to Europe (after a decade of being a parent with 2 children in the US school system, I wasnt too impressed). The kids in public school were complete thugs: talking about cocaine, meth, bathsalts, other drugs, there were major racial divisions, as well as choking and beating my younger son during recess because he stood too close to the basketball court ... I was at the end of my rope, things had been on a downward spiral for too long, so we moved overseas.
After moving, the new school in Europe offered us a copy of our children's American school records, we accepted as we were interested to see what was in it. These days, school officials in the US can slip confidential files into your child's record (as school records are passed directly from school to school).
There was a secret file on our son, filed by the Principal without our knowledge falsely stating that "he brought a knife to school to kill people and he had a father who threatened staff with a switchblade knife" -all of which was completely untrue (yet we cannot fight it or provide our version of events). Apparently, it's linked to his social security number, along with shot records and scores -it seems that the public school system and/ or Common Core are "databasing" and "blacklisting" children. From the records, it looks like in private schools, theyll just boot your kids, public schools will database them.
This Principal started off in the district as a PE Aide with a crap Liberal Arts degree from Dominguez Hills (which is a joke of an educational institution), she wasn't even initially hired as a teacher, just sat there long enough to get promoted -and couldnt even write the suspension record without multiple grammatical errors. It seems like they will hire anyone to be a teacher in California. No wonder the level of education has been dropping like crazy over the past few decades.
I wasn't willing to let this unqualified, egomaniacal woman "pipeline to prison" my son for nothing. He's a good kid. They both are -and have had to start over again, and again, and again, and again because of this Principals destructive behavior.
In my personal opinion, if you can afford the cost: private, religious or home school are the best choices for educating your child in the US. Otherwise, in the public system, its out of your hands, they practically own your kids and can pretty much do whatever they want to them; while you cant do anything about it -and they will get away with it.
Or one could just develop ADD, be distracted by all the latest nonsense news, gadgets, apps or other forms of bullshit entertainment and not have to deal with what really is important.
I wonder whats on TV tonight?
(-Just my 2 cents on life. Be well.)
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