My knifetests.com style sebenza review

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kaosu04

Joined
Apr 26, 2005
Messages
988
So I've had my sebenza for over a week now. I thought I would make a knifetests.com review in the exact same fashion they do it.

Sebenza in the garage;
Tried starting my car with it and it didnt work at all. Chipped the edge, broke the tip and damaged my ignition. Also put a lot of scuffs on the blade. I then tried using it to change my oil. When I tried removing my oil drain plug it really didnt do anything except dull the edge even more. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I then tried using it as a funnel, and now I have 5 quarts of oil all over my engine and the floor. I'm starting to think maybe I got a lemon.
-5,000/10

Sebenza in the kitchen;
I prepared a sandwich with my sebenza. Rye bread, turkey, provolone, and mayonnaise. Kept it simple. The sebenza was wrapped in the turkey. I must say that thing is extremely hard to chew. And it really doesn't taste too good. After a couple hours I just gave up. I then tried making a strawberry/sebenza milkshake. My blender really did not like that for some reason. It broke my blender and scratched my sebenza very badly
-8 billion/10

Sebenza in the living room;
Not too sure why but my sebenza does not work with my tv at all. No matter how hard I pressed the channels wouldnt change. I figured maybe the batteries were just dead, so I opened it up only to find it had no batteries. WTF? My $380 knife didnt come with batteries? Absolutely unacceptable. I resorted to the paperwork I got with it to figure out how to install the batteries, but for some reason it does not mention anything about them. Not very surprising after all these many disappointments. I took a wild guess and installed the batteries how I thought they should go, but it still didnt work. For what it's worth, it did manage to turn the tv off when I threw the sebenza at my tv in anger.
1/10 for managing to turn the tv off

Conclusion;
I really don't know why I traded for this useless thing. So far, all I've been able to use it for is pointless things like cutting, stabbing, opening and closing hundreds of times for sheer enjoyment. But that doesn't really make up for the lack of everything else, even though it cuts stabs opens and closes very well. Theres also terrific build quality, but does it really matter when you cant even eat it in a sandwich? I know some of you are going to say these tests aren't "scientific". Those people just need to wake up and see what's really going on here.
 
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LOL!! That was one of the funniest things I've read in a while...:D

Pretty much sums up the usefulness of that website too.
 
There's one thing about your review that I think is pretty unfair and unrealistic. You forgot to mention that even though the oil went all over the floor, it still lubed up the knife. I think maybe -4995/10 would be a more accurate rating. :rolleyes:
 
JNewell said:
There's one thing about your review that I think is pretty unfair and unrealistic. You forgot to mention that even though the oil went all over the floor, it still lubed up the knife. I think maybe -4995/10 would be a more accurate rating. :rolleyes:
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You know, you have a point there. Plus, the black oil all over the blade made it tacticool, as it wont reflect light when a sniper is trying to sight me in.
 
LOL! That sounds like somthing you would find in the "Is the Sebenza overrated" thread. :rolleyes:

Funny non the less. :thumbup::cool:
 
Is knifetests the moron that wears the paintball mask and gloves to hide his identity?
 
Medic1210 said:
Is knifetests the moron that wears the paintball mask and gloves to hide his identity?
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He wears the mask because obviously he is a very experienced and knowledgeable knifemaking ninja professional. He understands safety and does not cut corners when he's using a vice to snap a blade in half. I typically only wear safety glasses when I'm using a metal hammer to prove my knives arent worthy.
 
When I saw the thread, I pooped my pants, a little:barf:. Then I read it, and laughed out loud:D. Great thread!
 
I seriously laughed out loud to this. Way to go on distracting me while writing my paper.

I loved the part about the knife not turning on the TV.

 
"The batteries cost extra Bud" :

Very funny! I didn't see the option on the accessories page.....................I'll have to forget the battery-operated-assisted opening CRKs then!!!
 
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I'm sure glad this was bumped to the top again....such a funny read! :D Thanks for sharing.
 
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