- Joined
- Sep 21, 1999
- Messages
- 1,819
Good Evening,
It is I.
I've been babbling here at BFC since the last millinili...meliniumm...lillinn... century.... and I'd never had the chance to go to a real live knife show until last weekend.
I went to the Las Vegas Custom Knife Show, in, would you believe, LAS VEGAS NEVADA!!
Talk about a lucky coincidence!
Anyhooo... I already knew a couple of guys that were gonna be there from this here place, BladeForumsDotCom, and I was looking forward to meeting them... although one guy admitted he wasn't too sure about meeting ME!
I knew Kit Carson and Art Washburn from chat, and they knew I was gonna be there.
I wanted to get there on Friday night, but my slave driving wife had me printing up a buncha certificates for her cheerleading camp the following day. That woulda been ok, if I didn't have Satan's Inkjet Printer. Damned thing took me 11 3/4 hours to print 41 certificates!!! I was finished at 3:45 am, and NOT a happy little rodent!!!!!
So I went to school the following day, History, my teacher's more psychotic than I am, and twice as ugly, but that ain't gonna stop me from offering sex to get a good grade from him.. but I digress.....
I wound up getting to the Riviera on Saturday, where the show was being held. I wandered in, and was immediately drooling.
I'd never seen such beauty in all my life!
Then the usher for the Miss Transexual, USA asked me for my $350 cover charge, and I realized I was in the wrong place.
So I left, after being physically tossed out by a 400 pound Madonna look-alike, and managed to find my way to the knife show.
There was a whole buncha makers there.
I knew you were gonna ask me if so-and-so was there, so I took the liberty of scanning the program. It's located Here.
I wandered around a bit, trying to figure out where Kit and Art were. This isn't really easy when you don't have any clue what they look like!
(For about a year, I thought Kit was a hot Swedish girl with three nipples named Erica, until we realized that we had both fooled ourselves by pretending to be lesbians in a chat room... that's a story for another time, however.)
I finally managed to find Kit, only to learn that out of sheer spite for my not showing up the previous night, he'd sold almost every damned knife he had brought to the show!
CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NERVE!?!?!
Still, he had some neck knives left, and I managed to fondle them, quite impressed with their full feel in such a small size.
(Kit, I'm sending the money today, I swear!!!)
Kit also showed me the prototype for the M16 knife.
WOW!!
I give an extremely lengthy review of the prototype Here.
We BS'ed a while and he pointed out Art to me. I waddled on over to Art, and made some smartarrsed comment.. then identified myself as me.
He seemed somewhat wary, yet soon enough, we were BSing like pals. Art's work was excellent, and I wanted everything he had on the table. Unfortunately, my wife no longer lets me play with money, so I had to pass.... that day. After yakking with Art a bit, I wandered about some more, seeing lotsa folks I had only read about and admired from afar.
Jot Singh Kahlsa was there, whose work I'd always wanted to see close up, and fortunately, I refrained from commenting about what nice towels he wore.
(For once, my anti-idiot software kicked in, and I was quite polite.)
I also saw JA Harkins, another maker whose work was art, and I babbled incoherrently at him for a while.
Since I got there late, the show closed and I had to "Move along sir, or Mega-Madonna will get you" and I left. I gave Kit and his friends a ride to their hotel, because I felt sorry for them when I saw Kit hitching up his pants leg, trying to flag a ride.
After that, I drove home and had a normal Saturday night. The cheeze whiz flew and the pigeons were nervous, not to mention, quite sore!
The following day, Sunday, if I remember my day-order right, I showed up late again. I'm sorry, but I can't wake up until the crack of 1 pm, no matter WHAT the emergency!
I managed to find my way to the show directly this time, discreetly avoiding Mega-Madonna as she was bathing in a bath of hot fudge and mustard. I think she saw me, but I avoided direct eye contact and hurried my pace.
I wander in again, this time, I'm so late, I was allowed in for free.
Whooop-dee-dooo!!!
NOW I WAS JUSTIFIED IN SPENDING MONEY, SINCE I SAVED THE ENTRANCE FEE!!!
I had to move fast, however.... so I sauntered over to Art and his wife, made my hello's and started shopping.
First I went to Jot Singh Kahlsa, and bought a pretty pair of knife-earrings for my daughter, Alisha, who turned 14 that day.
(She looks 19 and I spend many, MANY hours frightening boy-animals that come sniffing around our abode.)
So, since the credit card I gave JSK worked, I figured, "What the heck, I have a birthday coming up in 5 months, so I might as well be good to myself!"
I scurried over to Kit, seeing him packing up his stuff and say, "Hiya Erica, got any more neck knives?" He blushed mightily, and boomed, "Yep, I got one with a green handle or a black handle."
I picked green, since it matches my eyelids.
I was on a roll now.
I skateboarded over to Art. Halfway there I realized that I didn't have a skateboard, cuz there was a guy screaming at me to give back his wheelchair.
But I was in a hurry, and the guy wasn't crawling very fast, so I asked Art for the Damascus Letter Opener. It's shaped like the logo on the Captain Kirk's Velvet V-Neck, so in addition to opening the enormous amounts of fan mail I get (I use the term "enormous" to mean "non-existant") I have the added benefit of wearing a symbol that is sure to intimidate the hell outta any aliens that might escape from my neighbors north of me, over at Area 51.
Due to the enormous amounts of mail, I just sent away for catalogs from every advertiser in the National Enquirer. I should have thousands of junk mail to slice and dice within weeks!!!!
I also managed to track down Alan Elishewitz, to whom I relayed a humorous story about removing an unconscious woman's bra with his blade.
He seemed a little uncomfortable after that, so I stopped hugging him and went along my merry way.
I saw one of the Vallotton SERE's at the show as well!
I always liked big scary knives that are shiny, so that really caught my eye! Alas, the $2,000 price tag was beyond my credit line. As it is, I was in boiling water with Mrs. Gerbil, and I didn't want her to post my torn out spleen here to embarass me.
I also met BFC member Les Robertson. I introduced myself as Vampire Gerbil, and after he stopped laughing (?) He shook my hand and we talked a while. I showed him my prized possession, a Rainy Vallotton Auto, Prototype, Serial #1, and he proceeded to burst my bubble by pulling out a bigger and better model, ALSO a prototype, serial #1. After I stopped sobbing hysterically, I shook his hand and walked away sniffling quietly.
I browsed some more, but knew that if I didn't leave soon, I'd be spleenless in a matter of hours, I decided to say farewell to Art and Kit. The show was closing as well, and once again, Kit needed a ride to his hotel.
By now, his legs were looking pretty good to me (I think he had them waxed the previous night), but I kept my hormones in check, and dropped him off.
There were many other makers at the Show, and I've only touched on a few, but all in all, it was a great experience, and I'm really happy to have met such great people!!!
Off to soak my fingers in liquid nitrogen,
I remain,
VG
Mega-Madonnawannabe
------------------
Vampire Gerbil: Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus; similar to a domestic gerbil, except for the odd accent and little black cape.
+ + + + + + + + +
Odd Pictures at Photopoint
Manifesto of Madness and Optical Illusions
<A HREF="http://members.aol.com/vampiregerbil" TARGET=_blank>The Deadly and Scary Leatherman Micra
InstructionalWebsite.</A>
The Ballistic Knife (a/k/a "The Knife That Shoots) in Action
[This message has been edited by Vampire Gerbil (edited 02-06-2001).]
It is I.
I've been babbling here at BFC since the last millinili...meliniumm...lillinn... century.... and I'd never had the chance to go to a real live knife show until last weekend.
I went to the Las Vegas Custom Knife Show, in, would you believe, LAS VEGAS NEVADA!!
Talk about a lucky coincidence!
Anyhooo... I already knew a couple of guys that were gonna be there from this here place, BladeForumsDotCom, and I was looking forward to meeting them... although one guy admitted he wasn't too sure about meeting ME!
I knew Kit Carson and Art Washburn from chat, and they knew I was gonna be there.
I wanted to get there on Friday night, but my slave driving wife had me printing up a buncha certificates for her cheerleading camp the following day. That woulda been ok, if I didn't have Satan's Inkjet Printer. Damned thing took me 11 3/4 hours to print 41 certificates!!! I was finished at 3:45 am, and NOT a happy little rodent!!!!!
So I went to school the following day, History, my teacher's more psychotic than I am, and twice as ugly, but that ain't gonna stop me from offering sex to get a good grade from him.. but I digress.....
I wound up getting to the Riviera on Saturday, where the show was being held. I wandered in, and was immediately drooling.
I'd never seen such beauty in all my life!
Then the usher for the Miss Transexual, USA asked me for my $350 cover charge, and I realized I was in the wrong place.
So I left, after being physically tossed out by a 400 pound Madonna look-alike, and managed to find my way to the knife show.
There was a whole buncha makers there.
I knew you were gonna ask me if so-and-so was there, so I took the liberty of scanning the program. It's located Here.
I wandered around a bit, trying to figure out where Kit and Art were. This isn't really easy when you don't have any clue what they look like!
(For about a year, I thought Kit was a hot Swedish girl with three nipples named Erica, until we realized that we had both fooled ourselves by pretending to be lesbians in a chat room... that's a story for another time, however.)
I finally managed to find Kit, only to learn that out of sheer spite for my not showing up the previous night, he'd sold almost every damned knife he had brought to the show!
CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NERVE!?!?!
Still, he had some neck knives left, and I managed to fondle them, quite impressed with their full feel in such a small size.
(Kit, I'm sending the money today, I swear!!!)
Kit also showed me the prototype for the M16 knife.
WOW!!
I give an extremely lengthy review of the prototype Here.
We BS'ed a while and he pointed out Art to me. I waddled on over to Art, and made some smartarrsed comment.. then identified myself as me.
He seemed somewhat wary, yet soon enough, we were BSing like pals. Art's work was excellent, and I wanted everything he had on the table. Unfortunately, my wife no longer lets me play with money, so I had to pass.... that day. After yakking with Art a bit, I wandered about some more, seeing lotsa folks I had only read about and admired from afar.
Jot Singh Kahlsa was there, whose work I'd always wanted to see close up, and fortunately, I refrained from commenting about what nice towels he wore.
(For once, my anti-idiot software kicked in, and I was quite polite.)
I also saw JA Harkins, another maker whose work was art, and I babbled incoherrently at him for a while.
Since I got there late, the show closed and I had to "Move along sir, or Mega-Madonna will get you" and I left. I gave Kit and his friends a ride to their hotel, because I felt sorry for them when I saw Kit hitching up his pants leg, trying to flag a ride.
After that, I drove home and had a normal Saturday night. The cheeze whiz flew and the pigeons were nervous, not to mention, quite sore!
The following day, Sunday, if I remember my day-order right, I showed up late again. I'm sorry, but I can't wake up until the crack of 1 pm, no matter WHAT the emergency!
I managed to find my way to the show directly this time, discreetly avoiding Mega-Madonna as she was bathing in a bath of hot fudge and mustard. I think she saw me, but I avoided direct eye contact and hurried my pace.
I wander in again, this time, I'm so late, I was allowed in for free.
Whooop-dee-dooo!!!
NOW I WAS JUSTIFIED IN SPENDING MONEY, SINCE I SAVED THE ENTRANCE FEE!!!
I had to move fast, however.... so I sauntered over to Art and his wife, made my hello's and started shopping.
First I went to Jot Singh Kahlsa, and bought a pretty pair of knife-earrings for my daughter, Alisha, who turned 14 that day.
(She looks 19 and I spend many, MANY hours frightening boy-animals that come sniffing around our abode.)
So, since the credit card I gave JSK worked, I figured, "What the heck, I have a birthday coming up in 5 months, so I might as well be good to myself!"
I scurried over to Kit, seeing him packing up his stuff and say, "Hiya Erica, got any more neck knives?" He blushed mightily, and boomed, "Yep, I got one with a green handle or a black handle."
I picked green, since it matches my eyelids.
I was on a roll now.
I skateboarded over to Art. Halfway there I realized that I didn't have a skateboard, cuz there was a guy screaming at me to give back his wheelchair.
But I was in a hurry, and the guy wasn't crawling very fast, so I asked Art for the Damascus Letter Opener. It's shaped like the logo on the Captain Kirk's Velvet V-Neck, so in addition to opening the enormous amounts of fan mail I get (I use the term "enormous" to mean "non-existant") I have the added benefit of wearing a symbol that is sure to intimidate the hell outta any aliens that might escape from my neighbors north of me, over at Area 51.
Due to the enormous amounts of mail, I just sent away for catalogs from every advertiser in the National Enquirer. I should have thousands of junk mail to slice and dice within weeks!!!!
I also managed to track down Alan Elishewitz, to whom I relayed a humorous story about removing an unconscious woman's bra with his blade.
He seemed a little uncomfortable after that, so I stopped hugging him and went along my merry way.
I saw one of the Vallotton SERE's at the show as well!
I always liked big scary knives that are shiny, so that really caught my eye! Alas, the $2,000 price tag was beyond my credit line. As it is, I was in boiling water with Mrs. Gerbil, and I didn't want her to post my torn out spleen here to embarass me.
I also met BFC member Les Robertson. I introduced myself as Vampire Gerbil, and after he stopped laughing (?) He shook my hand and we talked a while. I showed him my prized possession, a Rainy Vallotton Auto, Prototype, Serial #1, and he proceeded to burst my bubble by pulling out a bigger and better model, ALSO a prototype, serial #1. After I stopped sobbing hysterically, I shook his hand and walked away sniffling quietly.
I browsed some more, but knew that if I didn't leave soon, I'd be spleenless in a matter of hours, I decided to say farewell to Art and Kit. The show was closing as well, and once again, Kit needed a ride to his hotel.
By now, his legs were looking pretty good to me (I think he had them waxed the previous night), but I kept my hormones in check, and dropped him off.
There were many other makers at the Show, and I've only touched on a few, but all in all, it was a great experience, and I'm really happy to have met such great people!!!
Off to soak my fingers in liquid nitrogen,
I remain,
VG
Mega-Madonnawannabe
------------------
Vampire Gerbil: Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus; similar to a domestic gerbil, except for the odd accent and little black cape.
+ + + + + + + + +
Odd Pictures at Photopoint
Manifesto of Madness and Optical Illusions
<A HREF="http://members.aol.com/vampiregerbil" TARGET=_blank>The Deadly and Scary Leatherman Micra
InstructionalWebsite.</A>
The Ballistic Knife (a/k/a "The Knife That Shoots) in Action
[This message has been edited by Vampire Gerbil (edited 02-06-2001).]
