- Joined
- Aug 23, 2004
- Messages
- 1,499
Yikes.
Man, I thought I'd stop in quick to share an experience that I had recently that really has given me cause to stop and count my blessings.
As many of you know, I'm in college and receiving treatment for cancer. It's going ok, and things are pretty stable for the most part.
Anyhow, last Friday, I went in for some pretty standard tests. I got a chest x-ray that was really supposed to just be a technicality to allow me in on a clinical trial of a new drug. I get the tests, no big deal, but on my way home, I get a call on my cell phone from my doctor, and he sounds worried. He tells me that my "port" (a thing implanted under the skin near the shoulder, into which they can inject chemo directly into the subclavian vein without trashing my arm veins) has broken. Furthermore, about 6" of tubing from it have broken off, floated through my heart, and lodged in my pulmonary artery. He tells me not to go home, but to come in for surgery right then and there to get it out.
The weird part is that I remember exactly when it broke. I was in my last day of Stats class, which was the worst class I've ever taken. We had to present on some posters we had made for our final, and while I'm trying to present, my heart started to go CRAZY. It felt like it was racing, struggling and skipping beats, and I was sweating like mad and breathing hard. I managed to finish presenting, but almost passed out. I slept it off, and convinced myself it was nothing.
Turns out, that was when it migrated through my heart. By rights, I probably should have died right then and there. My heart really was skipping beats and struggling, and when I almost passed out, it could have been lights out for good. If it had gotten stuck (and seeing the thing, I can't see how it didn't), my heart just would have stopped stone dead.
Funny--my life didn't flash before my eyes, and I had no idea of the gravity of the situation at the time. But I guess I learned some things. First, I've got a damn stubborn body and spirit, and neither are anywhere near quitting. Secondly, I truly believe that the good wishes and smoke from here and many other people made a difference. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I think there's more too it than that. I'm not religious in the traditional sense, but I know that that was more than just luck.
Thank you all for your support, smoke, and kind wishes throughout the last couple years. It's meant a lot, and gotten me through a lot. But moreover, I take this as a lesson in the unpredictability of life, and the necessity of living well. I'm not ready to go yet, and won't be for a long time, but things like that really make you stop and take stock of things. Man, I've got a great life, and things like this make me remember that and not just take it for granted for a while.
Things are fine for me now--it's all taken care of. But I'll never forget that, for darn sure. I guess I just wanted to share, for whatever it may be worth.
Thanks guys, and Happy New Year!
Best wishes and smoke always,
Chris
Man, I thought I'd stop in quick to share an experience that I had recently that really has given me cause to stop and count my blessings.
As many of you know, I'm in college and receiving treatment for cancer. It's going ok, and things are pretty stable for the most part.
Anyhow, last Friday, I went in for some pretty standard tests. I got a chest x-ray that was really supposed to just be a technicality to allow me in on a clinical trial of a new drug. I get the tests, no big deal, but on my way home, I get a call on my cell phone from my doctor, and he sounds worried. He tells me that my "port" (a thing implanted under the skin near the shoulder, into which they can inject chemo directly into the subclavian vein without trashing my arm veins) has broken. Furthermore, about 6" of tubing from it have broken off, floated through my heart, and lodged in my pulmonary artery. He tells me not to go home, but to come in for surgery right then and there to get it out.
The weird part is that I remember exactly when it broke. I was in my last day of Stats class, which was the worst class I've ever taken. We had to present on some posters we had made for our final, and while I'm trying to present, my heart started to go CRAZY. It felt like it was racing, struggling and skipping beats, and I was sweating like mad and breathing hard. I managed to finish presenting, but almost passed out. I slept it off, and convinced myself it was nothing.
Turns out, that was when it migrated through my heart. By rights, I probably should have died right then and there. My heart really was skipping beats and struggling, and when I almost passed out, it could have been lights out for good. If it had gotten stuck (and seeing the thing, I can't see how it didn't), my heart just would have stopped stone dead.
Funny--my life didn't flash before my eyes, and I had no idea of the gravity of the situation at the time. But I guess I learned some things. First, I've got a damn stubborn body and spirit, and neither are anywhere near quitting. Secondly, I truly believe that the good wishes and smoke from here and many other people made a difference. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I think there's more too it than that. I'm not religious in the traditional sense, but I know that that was more than just luck.
Thank you all for your support, smoke, and kind wishes throughout the last couple years. It's meant a lot, and gotten me through a lot. But moreover, I take this as a lesson in the unpredictability of life, and the necessity of living well. I'm not ready to go yet, and won't be for a long time, but things like that really make you stop and take stock of things. Man, I've got a great life, and things like this make me remember that and not just take it for granted for a while.
Things are fine for me now--it's all taken care of. But I'll never forget that, for darn sure. I guess I just wanted to share, for whatever it may be worth.
Thanks guys, and Happy New Year!
Best wishes and smoke always,
Chris
You were certainly meant to stay around here.
)...but you just chalk it up as a reminder to count your blessings. 
