Need a forest fire ( smoke and lots of it )

Rusty

Rusty

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My uncle Ron, had a couple heart attacks a week/10 days ago. Came thru surgery ( 6 bypasses ) well, and then downhill. My aunt Dorothy is at the hospital all the time so just hear briefly by email some nights.

Last night I heard Ron is on total life support, sedated, has blood infection, on pacemaker, and blood clot in lungs, kidneys starting to shut down.

My aunt recently lost her mother and has not gotten over that yet. She and Ron were high school sweethearts broken up by downright ugly and nasty parents on each side and finally in their 40s found each other and love again.

After my dad died, I broke off from the family for 10 years. Then ended up becoming more of Big Sister, Little Brother taking care of each other than aunt and nephew.

Ron is one of the good guys. Was up front and nasty as he had to be to butt heads with my grandmother and maintain an armed truce that my grandmother was always scheming to get around. As some buddhists say, she was a soul killer. He protected my aunt from her as best he could. It would be nice if they had a few years of peace now that grandma's gone.

Smoke please. Lots. I kept expecting to hear good news eventually, and now the bad news is adding up.

Rusty
 
On the way, Bro, and all I can muster. Good people deserve good time and shouldn't be cheated out of it.
 
Rusty. First, you have my prayers for Ron. Next, I don't know how close you are but if you can, go see him even if only briefly. If you can't go, send email letters to him, speaking frankly about how much he has meant to you. Tell him you are rooting for him and your friends are praying for him. Your aunt can relay these letters and they will mean a great deal to him, just knowing that he is remembered and not alone.

Next, if you have any means to do so and if there is any need,assist your aunt. Arrange a lawn mowing, have a maid go clean house once a week, have her send her bills to you along with signed checks and you deal with them, arrange a plumber, just anything that is happening, offer to handle it. She will be pouring herself into her husband's needs and won't have much left over to attend to her own.

Don't ask her, just tell her you are taking care of whatever so that she can spend more time with Ron. Finally, you cannot overestimate the benefit to him of knowing other people care, so it is worth repeating... write, phone, send a card.

This may not have a happy ending but no matter what, your actions will have helped and your support will be greatly appreciated. My wife and I have been through this sort of thing and our hearts overflow when we recall even the tiniest kindness.

If you are strapped, I am not alone (I am sure!) in saying don't be shy, ask and what we can do,we all will.

best wishes
Stephen
 
Her son was to come back to Fresno yesterday. He had to leave Tuesday to head for Turlock, where his other grandmother wasn't expected to last through Thursday. Dorothy's spending all her time at the hospital, last I heard.

Stephen, Timmy ( her son ) is doing what he can to let her stay with Ron. I talked to Tim Monday for the first time in 25 years - he works for San Jose PD. We used to like each other, still do far as I know. Our visits just never matched up. I hope we don't meet at Ron's funeral. I'm planning time to get to know him again ASAP.

I'm calling the house shortly in case his wife Rachel is now there holding down the fort.

Thanks to all and keep it coming.

"Ubi Caritas et Amore, Deus ibi est."
( Where there is charity and love, there is God )
 
Tim's wife was holding down the fort. Things remain bad but so far getting no worse and hope for improvement not unreasonable. Tim's grandmother is still alive and improving.
 
Only thing you can do at this point is keep on keepin' on. We will all be as close beside you as these electronic gismos permit. Hang in, Bro.
 
My prayers are going out to you and your family.


Heber Ellsworth
 
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