- Joined
- Sep 21, 1999
- Messages
- 1,819
Good Evening, etc.
I didn't know where else to post this, so if this needs to be moved/deleted/whatever/ feel free to do so.
I'll get over it.
Anyhoo, I amen't (That's officially a word now. I used it over 100 times) a sworn law enforcement officer, but I sure do look like one when I'm working. (Armed guard, wandering North Vegas Bars, accompanying guy who pays off jackpots, etc) but I am subject to many of the risks that a real LEO might find himself facing.
The worst risk of this, as you well know, is walking into a bar and having a drunk walk up to you and say, "I DIDN'T DO IT!", then cackle merrily as if he's just come up with the most original line since George Carlin said, "Right after I take this hot poker outta my eye, I'm gonna jam it up my..."
Well, it's SOMETHING like that.
I've been working this job for about 6 months now, and while I found that I was able to handle the various outlaw bikers (and their mean "old ladies!") and gangbangers (Them Crips are SUCH practical jokers!) hearing someone say this idiotic thing at me is the most horrible of all.
Well, it was at the Olympic Gardens in Las Vegas that it came to me. (The OG is a topless place, really high class, as far as those places go...one of the perks of my job is getting in there for free while everyone else has to pay $20) and a lovely stripper approached me.
Now, naturally, I assume that she's gonna offer me cash to take her home, but instead, she breaks my heart by blurting out, "I DIDN'T DO IT!"
Feeling mean, as I was already spending that cash, I blurted out, "Yes, you did. I saw the video. Now face the wall, place your feet on top of your head and interlock your toes!"
Unfortunately, she thought I was joking and moved off to hustle drinks and lap dances from the people who actually PAID to get in.
Anyhow, it might work on others, so feel free to use that line on whomever you feel it's necessary. I realize that it's probably best to reserve that Verbal Weapon for females who are at least SOMEwhat attractive, but there might be some humor in getting a drunken biker to attempt that...
Then again, just reponding by screaming, "I SAW YOU DO IT!" and emptying your OC Canister into their toothless, cackling face has it's good points, as well.
Anyhow, feel free to use that Verbal Defense Weapon at will.
Off to... uhh... well, I'm just "off", I suppose,
I remain,
VG
I didn't know where else to post this, so if this needs to be moved/deleted/whatever/ feel free to do so.
I'll get over it.
Anyhoo, I amen't (That's officially a word now. I used it over 100 times) a sworn law enforcement officer, but I sure do look like one when I'm working. (Armed guard, wandering North Vegas Bars, accompanying guy who pays off jackpots, etc) but I am subject to many of the risks that a real LEO might find himself facing.
The worst risk of this, as you well know, is walking into a bar and having a drunk walk up to you and say, "I DIDN'T DO IT!", then cackle merrily as if he's just come up with the most original line since George Carlin said, "Right after I take this hot poker outta my eye, I'm gonna jam it up my..."
Well, it's SOMETHING like that.
I've been working this job for about 6 months now, and while I found that I was able to handle the various outlaw bikers (and their mean "old ladies!") and gangbangers (Them Crips are SUCH practical jokers!) hearing someone say this idiotic thing at me is the most horrible of all.
Well, it was at the Olympic Gardens in Las Vegas that it came to me. (The OG is a topless place, really high class, as far as those places go...one of the perks of my job is getting in there for free while everyone else has to pay $20) and a lovely stripper approached me.
Now, naturally, I assume that she's gonna offer me cash to take her home, but instead, she breaks my heart by blurting out, "I DIDN'T DO IT!"
Feeling mean, as I was already spending that cash, I blurted out, "Yes, you did. I saw the video. Now face the wall, place your feet on top of your head and interlock your toes!"
Unfortunately, she thought I was joking and moved off to hustle drinks and lap dances from the people who actually PAID to get in.
Anyhow, it might work on others, so feel free to use that line on whomever you feel it's necessary. I realize that it's probably best to reserve that Verbal Weapon for females who are at least SOMEwhat attractive, but there might be some humor in getting a drunken biker to attempt that...
Then again, just reponding by screaming, "I SAW YOU DO IT!" and emptying your OC Canister into their toothless, cackling face has it's good points, as well.
Anyhow, feel free to use that Verbal Defense Weapon at will.
Off to... uhh... well, I'm just "off", I suppose,
I remain,
VG