Not AGAIN ! ! !

uncle Alan

uncle Alan

Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
1,830


Last night the phantom went into my odds & ends hanging drawer chest & removed
$90.00 , a fifty & 2 20 dollar bills .


I know you think I'm nuts but it is for reaL !

Uncle Alan :confused:
 
uncle Alan said:


Last night the phantom went into my odds & ends hanging drawer chest & removed
$90.00 , a fifty & 2 20 dollar bills .


I know you think I'm nuts but it is for reaL !

Uncle Alan :confused:
Click to expand...

Uncle Alan,

That is not a ghost.......
That is just the current administration pro-actively securing your income taxes. It appears that you were about $20 short in 1959. So they took out interest and penalties.

Phantoms were retired from the air force, and considered obsolete during the Clinton era. I think we sold them to Iran to bomb Iraq or something.

Carry on my good man.

Step into the light Carol Anne.
 
Has he/she/it returned your gun cleaning kit yet?

My own phantom seems to have been given the boot now that I live alone. Children are grown and gone, and wives aren't in the picture. Money left in my wallet and on my dresser never disappears any more. I still lose stuff and misremember where I put things, but I know for sure I am to blame.

My only spooks are the voices that I hear every night like clockwork, right about 11:45. Unplugging all of the radios and such has no effect. Now, so you know, I am essentially deaf/HOH. So if I am hearing voices, they are loud you betcha! So far, the voices haven't messed with my stuff or spoken to me telling me to do anything. They just murmer like a radio left on in the next room. Maybe I'll leave them out a shot of tequilla tonight and see if they party!
 
The mice are at it again! The 3rd verse goes:
Well last week I earned some overtime and like a big fat-head
I hung my trousers at the foot when I got into bed.
The next morning when I awoke I found I had been done.
I asked the Mrs. about it and she says "its ten to one
That the mice are at it again, oh, been up to their tricks."
I said "they must have been hungry for to chaw up 7/6."
For I knew I'd half a sovereign. "That's right" says Mary Jane,
"And they chawed it down to half-a-crown, the mice they're at it again.
Click to expand...
 
Codger_64 said:
Has he/she/it returned your gun cleaning kit yet?

My own phantom seems to have been given the boot now that I live alone. Children are grown and gone, and wives aren't in the picture. Money left in my wallet and on my dresser never disappears any more. I still lose stuff and misremember where I put things, but I know for sure I am to blame.

My only spooks are the voices that I hear every night like clockwork, right about 11:45. Unplugging all of the radios and such has no effect. Now, so you know, I am essentially deaf/HOH. So if I am hearing voices, they are loud you betcha! So far, the voices haven't messed with my stuff or spoken to me telling me to do anything. They just murmer like a radio left on in the next room. Maybe I'll leave them out a shot of tequilla tonight and see if they party!
Click to expand...



ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

No gun kit ,no dusting brush either.What I'd like to know is how the critter knew which drawer the money was in ? I'd sold a semi-auto the day before & triple folded it,put a huge paper clip on it. This am I asked Patsy to make out a $300 deposit slip for our main bank. She did & I handed her the clipped money. She then told me I was $90 short. Go figure !

Uncle A lan More & more:confused:
 
Last edited:
uncle Alan, could you please leave a hamburger and large chocolate shake in your odds & ends hanging drawer chest tonight? Thanks!
 
Cougar Allen said:
The mice are at it again! The 3rd verse goes:
Click to expand...

CA: is that sung to the same tune as the Irish Descendants "Peter Street":

Oh you landsmen and you seamen come listen to my song
It's of a trick was played on me it won't detain you long
I came from sea the other day a fair girl I did meet
She kindly asked me to a dance, was up on Peter street

"Oh no", says I, "me fair maid, though I can dance quite well
Tonight I'm bound for Wicoloes town, 'tis where my people dwell."
"You'd better come with me," she said "for the distance is not far,"
And finding her so frend-ily I jumped into her car

Well as the dance was over, straight to the bed did go
Was little did I ever think she'd pull my over-throw
Robbed my gold watch, and thirty pounds, a pack of fags, and fled
And left me there stark naked alone upon the bed

Now when I awoke at morning it was nothing did I spy
But a woman's shirt and apron upon the bed did lie
I wrung my hands, I tore my hair, I cried, "what shall I do"
Ahh tonight I'm bound for Wicoloes town, no more will I see you

Well as the streets were lonesome at the hour of two o'clock
I put on the shirt and apron, and marched down to the dock
The crew they saw me coming these words to me did say
"My dear old chap you've struck a snap since you've been gone away"

"Are those the new spring fasions the ladies wear on shore.
Where is the shop you bought 'em at and is there anymore"
The captin on the quarter deck looked at me with a frown
Saying, "Jack I'd buy a better suit than that for thirty pounds"

I would sir, if I could sir, if I only got the chance
But I met a girl on Peter street and she asked me to a dance
She danced my hearts deception, I got robbed from head to feet
And I'll take an oath, no more I'll go, to a dance on peter street

Oh you landsmen and you seamen a warning take by me
Be sure to choose good company when you go out on spree
Be sure to choose good company or you'll find yourself like me
With a womans shirt and apron for to fit you out to sea
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about your misfortune Uncle Alan. Maybe you should start putting a sticky trap in there with your preciouses.
 
Jump traps are very powerful & dangerous. Maybe I should bring my guns inside ?

uncle Alan still :confused:
 
Last edited:
Have you checked your whiskey supply? Verse 4:
Well for to wash my neck I keep some whiskey 'round the place.
Oh the bottle it is empty every morning I can trace.
And I asked the old landlady who'd been drunk the night before,
Or did she know where my whiskey went and she says "dear, oh Lord!"
"Well the mice are at it again, oh isn't it a shame,
For every night that I get tight, the mice they do the same."
"Well I noticed a couple this morning trying to cool their brains."
"They were running about and their tongues hanging out

and the mice are at it again."
Click to expand...
 
THere are two explanations, number one is gremlins, them little buggers do nothing but cause mischief. The seconds is your evil twin, everyone has one and he only comes out to spread its evilness. In either case, there's not much you can do, it takes a lot to catch a gremlin and evil twins cannot be caught.
 
An elderly man goes to the doctor for his check-up. The doc asks him how he's feeling and he says "oh, fine, but I wish I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to pee so much." The doctor says "well, at your age, that's pretty normal." The man says "At least the Good Lord turns the light on for me."

Confused, the doctor goes out to the waiting room to talk to the man's wife. When asked what she thinks of this, she says "isn't there some way you can stop him from peeing in the refrigerator at night?
 
I needed to dust a very large gun. I'll return them soon.

By the way, do you happen to have a Clapper and a Salad Shooter? Those might come in handy next week.

See ya later uncle Alan! :D
 
uncle Alan said:


Last night the phantom went into my odds & ends hanging drawer chest & removed
$90.00 , a fifty & 2 20 dollar bills .


I know you think I'm nuts but it is for reaL !

Uncle Alan :confused:
Click to expand...

xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxxooxxoxoxoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo


It's been quiet for a week. Maybe it was the Summer phantom; today Autumn starts. Hopefully it's over.

Uncle Alan :)
 
Cougar Allen said:
The mice are at it again! The 3rd verse goes:
Click to expand...
Well last week I earned some overtime and like a big fat-head
I hung my trousers at the foot when I got into bed.
The next morning when I awoke I found I had been done.
I asked the Mrs. about it and she says "its ten to one
That the mice are at it again, oh, been up to their tricks."
I said "they must have been hungry for to chaw up 7/6."
For I knew I'd half a sovereign. "That's right" says Mary Jane,
"And they chawed it down to half-a-crown, the mice they're at it again.
Click to expand...

Interesting reference to old English money...

Part of the joke is that you can't "chaw down" a half sovereign to a half crown as the former coin is very much smaller than the latter to begin with. In fact they are almost the smallest and largest coins in circulation in Victorian/Edwardian times - a period when the number of different value coins in circulation reached a peak.

FYI :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top