O.t. How To Tell If You Need To Pray At Work

Yvsa

Yvsa

Joined
May 18, 1999
Messages
15,395
Ain't it the truth!!!! :D :grumpy:


HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK

When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to
everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the sh*t out of her" ....
You need to pray at work.

When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5 minutes," and you
think, "what the f..k do they want now?".....
You need to pray at work.

When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "which
one of you sons of bitches turned off my computer?" .... You need to pray at work.

When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes
in and says, "well at my last office...", and you want to throw a stapler at him... .
You need to pray at work.

When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses
your mind is, "what the hell does this bitch want now?" and you try to hide
underneath your desk........
You need to pray at work.

When you are asked to stay late and help do! someone else's work and the
first thing that pops in your head is, "both of y'all can kiss my arse!!"
You need to pray at work.

When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up someone who stood for
five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to go DOWN one floor, and you
say "that lazy bastard"..... .
You need to pray at work.

When you take some vacation time and come back to find a mountain of
paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you
think, "sorry ass M#$^%F%&#s".......
You need to pray at work.

If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping, or
flattening someone's tires that you work with.....
You need to pray at work.

If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing to someone because
you know it's going to lead to their life story .....
You need to pray at work.

LET US ALL BOW OUR HEADS
 
When the word comes down for yet one more 'restructuring', the Third this year....

When the smile means they really want to shove a shiv into your kidney, and probably just did in the Manager's office, only you don't feel it yet.

When the new structure means you will have more work than ever, which was already 3 times too much, but the same people sitting on their asses will continue to warm the seats happily... And when one of them gets a promotion, to bigger, finer seat warmer...

When you wonder about the chemical feasiblity of putting LSD in the main coffee pot.

When the boss smells like booze but tells you it's cologne.

When fear and contempt outweigh all other emotions inside the building.

When they have a charity drive and you think; 'you gotta be kidding- I work here, I gave enough."

When they can't tell the difference between you're busting your butt and doing absolutely nothing, but they treat you as if the latter was the daily bread.

When one of the ladies makes a pass at you, and she knows you're married, and you're sorely tempted....

When you're tempted even if you don't have the million units of penicillin that will take....

When someone needs the emergency crash cart in order to survive, and someonelse has previously taken a syringe through the sealed plastic of the Heart pack, past the rubber stopper of the morphine vial, sucked it dry, and all you can think is; "why didn't I think of that?"


munk
 
When you mention your contigency plans for when Rose comes into work with her gun, and you find all your coworkers have also formulated "Rose going postal" contingency plans...

When you overhear a group of friends discussing whether they should bring shotguns to the office to clear out the SOB's or whether .45's would be adequate and you realize that you are the least disgruntled person there (and that's because you recently threw your security badge in your bosses face and quit without notice)...

When you have serious discussions of whether to narc out the Arab SOB who is the center of much of the trouble by reporting him to the FBI as a terrorist...

When the SOB beats you to the punch and reports your "erratic behaviour" to security and gets you locked out of the building (while you are down at the labor relations board testifying about unreasonable working conditions)...

These may all seem like funny improbabilities, but they all happened within 6 months at Storage Technology. Nobody really got shot. We decided it was not really patriotic to mess with the FBI. Everybody quit the company instead. They were all the best and brightest engineers that I worked with. I remember one of them saying a few weeks earlier that he was sorry that I had quit, but he would never quit before the end of a project. He only lasted a couple weeks longer than the rest.
 
When your boss comes one morning to the department and says that she decided that same day that she does not need to take all that crap from the other managers and leave the company because she has enough to live for six years without doing anything.
When the company finally reacts to the situation and decide to fire another guy from my department and put me and the other girl left in probation just in case.
When during the probation period I end up doing my job, my ex-bosse's job, the other fired girl's work and the work from the other girl in probation with me when she has suddenly to visit his father out of country for a medical emergency for two weeks.
When you discover on the briefings to the remaining managers that they really have no clue of what the department does or how we do it after one year in operation.
When at the end of the probation period someone says in your evaluation that you are good and shown improvement, but that you need to improve your ability to multitask when you are presently doing Project Management, Human Resources, Traffic, Accounting, Translation and Editing tasks while running an average of 12 projects at the same time.
When you consider for a second to ask for the name of the "@##$%& who said that to make a personal visit with two bricks and a blowtorch.
When you realize that for a change, your boss really understands your situation and lends a hand.
When you realize that 99.9% of your colleagues want to lay a helping hand and are genuinely good guys.
When you realize that that 0.1% left are digging their own graves, and your bosses know of them.
When you realize that regardless of everything you have great friends and a family that loves you.
When you realize that life is good and that really, really your situation is not that bad.
When you have a job and can save some money at the end of the month and still have some left for pointy sharp things.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top