- Joined
- May 18, 1999
- Messages
- 15,395
Just look too what we have too look forward too. There has been days in the not too distant past that some of these applied too me.
:grumpy: 
I'm sure they will again one day.
A very elderly gentleman (mid-nineties), very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after-shave, walks into an upmarket cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an good-looking lady in her mid-eighties. The gentleman walks over, sits along side her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to the lady and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
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An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He eventually went to the doctor, who was able to have him fitted with hearing aids which allowed the gentleman's hearing to again be 100%. The elderly gentleman went back a month later for a checkup, and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. And I've changed my Will three times!"
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Two elderly gentlemen were sitting on a bench under a tree outside their Retirement Centre, when one turns to the other and says, "Bill, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know that you're about my age: how do you feel?"
Bill says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really? Like a new-born baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I've just wet my pants!"
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A elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after the meal, the ladies left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were chatting and one said, "Last night, we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man asked, "What's the name of the place?"
The first man thought and thought, and finally said "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know ....the one that's red and has thorns?"
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one!" replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled:
"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hospital regulations required that a wheelchair be used by patients being discharged. However, whilst working as a student nurse I found one elderly gentleman, already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted that he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about "rules are rules", he reluctantly let me wheel him to the lift. On the way down, I asked him whether his wife was meeting him. "I don't know", he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
:grumpy: I'm sure they will again one day. A very elderly gentleman (mid-nineties), very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after-shave, walks into an upmarket cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an good-looking lady in her mid-eighties. The gentleman walks over, sits along side her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to the lady and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He eventually went to the doctor, who was able to have him fitted with hearing aids which allowed the gentleman's hearing to again be 100%. The elderly gentleman went back a month later for a checkup, and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. And I've changed my Will three times!"
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Two elderly gentlemen were sitting on a bench under a tree outside their Retirement Centre, when one turns to the other and says, "Bill, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know that you're about my age: how do you feel?"
Bill says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really? Like a new-born baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I've just wet my pants!"
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after the meal, the ladies left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were chatting and one said, "Last night, we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man asked, "What's the name of the place?"
The first man thought and thought, and finally said "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know ....the one that's red and has thorns?"
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one!" replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled:
"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hospital regulations required that a wheelchair be used by patients being discharged. However, whilst working as a student nurse I found one elderly gentleman, already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted that he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about "rules are rules", he reluctantly let me wheel him to the lift. On the way down, I asked him whether his wife was meeting him. "I don't know", he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
