Obesity, Racism and Cruelty

DannyinJapan

DannyinJapan

Joined
Oct 9, 2003
Messages
5,594
How many of you have ever considered the idea that teasing people or even making comments about their weight is just as bad as teasing or making comments about their color/race?

I have had to learn how to overlook these things (inasmuch as I am able) in order to preserve relationships with people who, I can accept, do not think about what they have said and do not honestly realise what an ugly, hurtful, needless and cruel thing they have just done.

(Even here, in the cantina, I have received comments from people I know and trust about my weight. I am sorry to say that I don't forget such things easily. After a lifetime of such things, one becomes sensitized. Perhaps overly-sensitized.)

The reason I mention this is because some 13yr old girl in Wales just killed herself over the teasing at school about her weight. I do not think that anyone will make such a big deal about it. If she were black and teased about her color, that would probably be a much bigger deal. Just being overweight, well, I guess we just deserve whatever abuse we receive, right?

Please dont feel like I am attacking anyone here or angry at anyone here, but it is important to me that you all understand this. I know, a lot of people are overweight, but not everybody starts out overweight. A few special people (like me) are chosen to be overweight from the second grade and never get to experience fitness, not for one second, not even as a fleeting memory of youth.

I guess I am asking everyone here to be careful what you say, for the sake of others, and never assume that "fat" is an OK thing to joke about.
It is not.
Thank you.
 
to quote from a great movie (in context).

There is no racial bigotry here... here you are all equally worthless
 
Danny, respectfully, as an overweight (and formerly obese) person, I cannot equate teasing about weight with racial bigotry. After all, we can lose weight. And I don't want to hear "we can't." It may be a matter of genetics to some degree, but you don't see fat people in Ethiopia.
I think bullying and schoolyard torment are serious problems (see Columbine) and need to be dealt with, but I would hate to see fat people become some protected class. Groups like NAAFA are the wrong direction, in my opinion. Being fat is unhealthy, but it should not be a stigma. I've heard fat people talked about like subhuman eating machines by the "body nazi" crowd, and that's not the right way either.
I've been overweight all my life. Now that I am exercising and dieting, and feel more comfortable with myself, I can joke about it and not feel ashamed.
I don't think any of us, barring serious disorder, are doomed to be fat. Short people who want to play basketball have to overcome genetic disadvantages. If we are inclined to store more fat than average, and we want to be "cut", that is our challenge.
And if I fail to overcome it, I will write back here and concede you the point. :)
 
I am not concerned with the causes of obesity. The cause is irrelevant.
Saying things to overweight people about their weight hurts their feelings.
Saying anything unkind to anyone about the size or shape or color of their body IS THE SAME. Yes it is.
 
As one who has been obese most of my life. I' m reminded of a quote my father told me when I was 10. " People will not like you because they Don't like you;but because they aren't like you." Mary Baker Eddy.
I know it doesn't ease the pain' but I hope it gives courage. Al
 
Pay no attention...it is just the neo-Arians looking to create another master race. Do you realize that if we shoot the fat, the short, the crippled, and the mentally ill we would have a very cost effective society? Lets pick on the smokers, lets pick on the drinkers, no lets go after the obesity, and then the not-2-sharp (oh-oh) or homosexuals, and eventually we will get around to everyone who doesn't have blue eyes.

There is something very sick about a society that preys on iteself; and once the ball gets moving it is very hard to stop it.

To me it is just an indication that we have way too many worthless tort attorneys who truely do deserve to be shot. They are truely the "fat" that is clogging up the system. Let's get rid of them first.

n2s
 
When I am too fat (like right now) I eat less, exercise more, and lose weight. It's a universal law. It always works.

What's with these people who "just can't lose weight" and have their stomachs stapled smaller? Being too fat comes from eating too much and exercising too little. Eating is a voluntary activity. You have to intentionally do it. Can't these people control their hands from shoving food into their mouths?

Go ahead, call me insensitive. I feel the same way about alcoholics, and smokers.
 
its the nature of the machine for people to create social orders, and its the nature of humans to momentarily forget things, such as sensativity.

i dont look at obesity and overweightness as a persons unwillingess to do hard work in order to lose the weight, or that their lazy, i look at it as an inability to suffer pain on a constant or consistent level. being hungry is like getting cut deeply with a knife, it makes you think about survival, wich overtakes everything else. it takes an entirely different state of mind or a different level of concentration to overcome true hunger, just like when you feel something actually hit your bone.

i have always had the work ethic of "if you cant work yourself to the bone and keep going, then there will come a time when you are the mercy of the world around you". wich is sort of a marine/navy seal way of thinking...


i honestly beleive that certain people cant fully understand what it feels like to be made fun of in such a way, and have it effect you deeply enough that suicide is a viable option. perhaps its social training, perhaps its part of the male/female pysche/mental process to lack empathy under certain or all conditions, but certain people are incapable of feeling what you feel.

like when a guy says "i was raped by a girl" and everyone says "pppfft, fag. what, she slip you a date rape drug in your drink? poor baby, at least you got laid". there is no way that that person is every going to understand the feeling of unter discust and hatred that comes from being touched by that girl, or how bad it makes you feel that you cant do anything to her for making you do things, because you let her at the time. i know the example response i gave is harsh, but ive been told that exact phrase, and yet ive had more then 2 freinds tell me about such situations in there lives that made them feel unstable and horrible.

likewise, unless the person has experienced it, or is capable of compairing it to something else in there life, most people cant understand what addiction really is, what its like to fall into a true depression, what its like to get cold sweats when you go without something.

so i see it from both sides, that someone who is over weight can lose it if they are willing to hurt themselves for the end goal, and that in a way they are weak for not being able to take the pain of hunger. but also that being teased about your inabilities, your short comings, and about the things that you secretly hate about yourself hit to the very core of your being.

the world is not a nice place, and everone has to fend for themselves.

"lonely: adj. ALONE, or by oneself. the permanent state of being for all humans, despite any efforts to the contrary. can be soothed or subdued in a variety of ways, vis. marriage, sexual intercourse, board games, literature, music, poetry, television, party hats, pastries, etc., but cannot be solved" - c. ware, author of jimmy corrigan: the smartest kid on earth

in the end it all comes down to being able to find stability within oneself, without anyone to help you when you need it
 
in regards to the question of wether teasing about weight is as bad as teasing about race - no, because obesity can generally be changed, where as race is uncontrollable in anyway.

but, the effects of the teasing can be just as bad, and worse to the person who is on the receiving end.
 
Guys,
The subject at hand has NOTHING to do with the causes of obesity.
It has nothing to do with losing weight. We are not talking about whether or not someone can change to please the aesthetic tastes of other people.
Even black people can become white if they just save up a million dollars and get bleached like Michael Jackson.


We are talking about people saying unkind things to other people because of their physical appearance.

And that IS just as bad as racism. It is discrimination based upon physical appearance. If the urge to talk about losing weight pops into your head, that's part of the problem, see? You automatically assume the right to tell ME how I can change to please you.

That's like saying that its ok to call a black man a n@gger because he could get bleached white if he really wanted to.

F#ck that.

I have a right to appear any way I wish.
I have a right NOT to be insulted by anyone else because of the size or shape of my body.

As far as I am concerned, this is not a subject for debate, it is just a fact.

I had intended to simply make a request for people to try and be more sensitive to this idea. Obviously, it is something that we all need to think about.
 
No offense, seriously, but many also assume they have the right to occupy half of my seat in the plane when sitting next to me. And if you (I, in that case) tell then not to do that, you get this bullshit à la "That's the way I am/It's not may fault/Now stop harrasing me and get of your seat". That kinda sh1t pisses me off. :mad:

Apart from that, I think you might to some extent be right about the racial thing, ALTHOUGH one could argue that you are discriminating someone based upon mental apearance if you'd call them an a$$hole. :rolleyes:

cheez
 
Danny, I'm with you on this. There are people that don't understand. And you can't fix them.

As Mark Twain noted, doing what you want to with them will just get you talked about. Even if they don't find the body. Or, to put it another way, someone said that Texas has great lawyers because there's more people that need killing than horses that need stealing
 
Everybody has their difficulties, I do too.
All I want is for people to think a little before they speak.
Recognize that many of our assumptions about big people are bullsh#t.
(stupid, lazy, weak)

You dont see amos and andy anymore, do you?
And yet, when you go to the movies, the bad/stupid guy or his helpers are usually fat.
(Take Harry Potter or South Park for example.)
What do you think that teaches your kids?
Do you have any idea what kind of ugliness your kids spit out at school?
Stuff they learned from movies and TV like harry potter?

Yes, im overweight. I have a 154 IQ and a fifth degree black belt in ninjutsu.
Stupid, lazy and weak? Let's hear you say it to my face.
(You better have a gun.)

"Can't these people control their hands from shoving food into their mouths?"

I am going to assume that this was an actual question. Do you have any idea how hard it is to control what you eat when your blood sugar drops because your body produces too much insulin? None.
 
Danny I agree that being fat isn't something to joke about but being ndn, and fat, I can tell you the sting from racism is much worse than any fat jokes, insults, or whatever.
And some people will just never understand about the blood sugar dropping.
When I get the urge to eat it just doesn't matter what it is. I'll just as soon eat a carrot and cottage cheese as I would a handful of cookies. Hunger knows no bounds, at least for me. When hunger strikes and it's bad enough I get physically ill if I don't eat something.
My mother was the same way and I've seen her starve herself to try and lose weight but she never could without being on throid medicine. One Dr. was kind enough to put her on it and she got slimmer than I ever remember seeing her.
The only way I can lose weight is with help from something to block the nerve receptors that tells me I'm hungry.
Last year when I was on my diet and meds I ate 1100 calories a day and was never hungry.
Some people just can't help it in spite of what some people say.:(
 
"inasmuch"
Anybody who can use an infix in a sentence has to have an IQ over 125.;)
Some other infixes are "insofar," "wheretofore," and "albeit".

IQ:160
Saved three peoples lives.
Smoker.
Dreamer.
A bit overweight.

Keith
 
Never had my life threatened just because I was over-weight.

Never been denied a job just because I was over-weight.

Never been stopped by the police and searched just because I was over-weight.

Never had people look at me and judge me automatically stupid because I was over-weight.

Never had women clutch their purses tighter because I was over-weight.

Never been told to leave the country because I was over-weight.

Never had a petition circulated in my school asking to kick all the over-weight people out.

Never had my house or car vandalized to tell me to get out because I was over-weight.

Never been asked why a white girl would have a child with an over-weight guy like me.

Never had my child told that because his dad is over-weight he is automatically troubled.

I hope you can see the a few things that are different between racism and being over-weight. I think teasing the over-weight is horrible, and can be terribly damaging to the pysche. But then again, Ive never heard of lynchings because someone is over-weight. I know how it feels to be over-weight and to be judged by it.

I exercise 2 hours 6 days a week (this is not including martial arts practice which is done everyday for at least 1-2 hours). Any more, and I find I injure myself and thus cannot exercise for an extended period. I survive on a severe diet of 1000 calories a day. And yet, I am still what people would call "thick" in appearance. It is frustrating when you have some punk with a six pack walk into the dojo and think he can roll you fat butt, just because of physical appearance. It is always amusing to teach him otherwise. But in the greater scheme of things, while progress is slow, I have seen improvement over the me 2 years ago vs the me now. Regardless, I know that also, in the greater scheme of things, the first thing people see when they meat me, is not my round face. Racism and being fat is no less equal than Racism and poor eye-sight. The difference is vast.
 
Keith: you scored 160?!
Damn.
Thats pretty damn high. (6 points at that end of the scale makes a big difference)

Federico, I take your point and I must admit (until I came to Japan) That I never had those specific type racist problems.

Except for these:

I have been denied a job just because I was over-weight.
(The Army would rather let a borderline moron wield a machine gun than a MENSA guy 25 pounds over their height/weight chart)

Never had people look at me and judge me automatically stupid because I was over-weight.
(Happened to me in America and in Japan)

Never had a petition circulated in my school asking to kick all the over-weight people out.

(Dude, I would have been happy with a petition. I was verbally and physically abused daily.)

Never been asked why a white girl would have a child with an over-weight guy like me.

(Being overweight is a dating death sentence where I came from. The actual talking stage was a rare success..)



Just remember guys, when you say something like that, you may hurt someone badly without realizing it.
 
yep. I scored 152 in 3rd grade. I skipped class one day, I was really bored with school. My parents took me to a guy once a week for a month or so who had all these weird puzzles and games, and I thot he was my probation officer for skipping school. Turns out he was not a probation officer, but there to test my IQ.

Generally I will not talk about my IQ, as I have seen it be a blessing and a detriment to smart folks (sometimes even myself). Wisdom is part of intelligence (in a holistic sense of rationality/processing IMHO), yet it is really only tested in the real world and not on paper. Even more alarmingly, it seems that intelligence and wisdom are often diametrically opposed in folks (is it because really smart kids tend to be introverted? i dunno).

Years B4 the testing as a kid, my parents took me to this alternative learning kindergarten for 'self-actualization". I was kinda a hyper kid (that was b4 they were drugging kids fer that), and after two days they calle my mom and said "You can come and get your son, he is fully self-actualized, what he needs is a structured environment.":D:D:D

...And I've been thumbing my nose at "Sturctured environments" ever since.

I don't like to think of folks as smart or not, rather as complicated or simple. Both have worth in the ways of the world. Life would certainly be easier if I were 'simple.'

Keith
 
"I have a right to appear any way I wish.
I have a right NOT to be insulted by anyone else because of the size or shape of my body.

As far as I am concerned, this is not a subject for debate, it is just a fact.

I had intended to simply make a request for people to try and be more sensitive to this idea. Obviously, it is something that we all need to think about."


"How many of you have ever considered the idea that teasing people or even making comments about their weight is just as bad as teasing or making comments about their color/race?"

that opener sounds a lot like a request for discussion/debate.


"I have a right to appear any way I wish.
I have a right NOT to be insulted by anyone else because of the size or shape of my body.

As far as I am concerned, this is not a subject for debate, it is just a fact."

you should have the right to have any kind of qualifier regarding appearence removed from job applications and selection policy. anyone who can perform the job should be allowed to have the job.

there are no such social "rights" as far as acceptence and kindness of the people around you. if you beleive in free speech, you iether accept the "right" to cruelty from your fellow man as a part of free speech, or you deal with them being able to be cruel because its protected by free speech.

you have the right to look how you want, and you have the right to sue anyone who says different/says your wrong. i know of no such right that says a person cant call things as they see them, be it right or wrong, even if it makes a person feel bad (or horrible).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top