Off topic X-mas thoughts

J

Justabuyer

Joined
May 7, 2006
Messages
3,338
Not to be a downer but.... This year I learned my wife of 20 years has terminal cancer. I always planned on her out living me.

I write this as my Christmas present to all of you. Consider it a gift of hard won wisdom.

Nothing you worry about now matters. Your life should revolve 100 percent around those people that you love. In the end when you take stock of your life, when forced by circumstance to understand what it means to loose Joy, you will know then the value of love.

You will also know shame and resentment of time wasted, of poor behavior, of chances lost to bring joy to your loved ones. Start this instant to fix that.

Step away from your PC. Put down the beer. Make someone smile. Ease someones suffering.

Its ok to deny yourself anything to further a goal, except feelings. Never deny how you feel. Every time you do you die a little.

Understand right at this very instance that the life you have been waiting to start, the joy you have put off is happening right now. Get your head into the moment. Feel the air on your skin. Notice everything.

This is it folks, there is no promise that it will ever get better. This does not mean buy another knife. My message is grab your most cherished loved ones make eye contact and tell them what they mean to you until you KNOW they understand.

I have not been active on this forum for a while because the knife obsession became a problem for me. But I know I made a few friends here. I wanted you to know.

Un-like me, my wife is a person of faith. Pray for her if you are so inclined.

I am not asking for prayers or to be kept in anyones thoughts. Nor do I need anything at all, I want for nothing. Well nothing except certainty about the future. That my friends is something none of us have.
 
Very well said sir, I know what you mean. I,ve been with my better half for 30 years. It gets to the point where you think the same things and say the same things.you actually become one. They become part of you and vise-versa. I hope and pray everything works out for your wife and yourself.
 
ITs good to see you post again brutha:)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.

Merry Chirstmas.
 
Thanks for the reminder and may God bless you and your family.

Merry Christmas.
 
A most profound and moving post. Thank you for sharing your situation and insight. My thoughts and well-wishes go out to you and your family.
 
Thanks for sharing and the reminders. Merry Christmas. Never give up, keep moving forward.
 
Wise words, for sure. My condolences for the bad news, and good luck to you both.
 
Smoke and prayers sent!!! I can't even imagine...

And thank-you for the words!
 
from our house to yours, smoke and prayers sent from nc, that does bring life into perspective along with its brevity, but remember the lord will not put anything on us that we cannot bear.

thanks for your post and the best to both of you...
 
Justabuyer,
My condolences and the advise that you give to live life now, seize every opportunity to both live and to tell and show those that you love that you do indeed love them is quite sound and well heeded. A friend's wife has, after a nine year battle, recently entered the terminal stage and my friend takes all of the time that he feels necessary to ensure that his wife is properly cared for, as comfortable as possible, and to indulge her requests. He is a man of faith and I believe that it gives him comfort when he asserts that everything works out for the best. I am much closer to the agnostic end of the scale but believe that there is benefit to believing the same. Hang in there and do what you can to make your remaining time together as pleasant as possible. My thoughts are with you and yours (as well as with my family and friends) this holiday season.
Pete
 
You speak the truth, and it is a good message for this time of year. Smoke up from Northern AZ for you both!
 
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