- Joined
- Jun 25, 2001
- Messages
- 8,474
Diary of a Snow Shoveler
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first
snow of the season and the wife and I took our coffee and sat
for hours by the window watching
the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of
crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years
and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely
snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll
never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll
certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my
butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like the dickens.
The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are
too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the
blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. Man I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the darn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day.
That stupid snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel,
But they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower
And they're out. Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying. Bob says I have
to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it
probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to
go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got
undressed, went to the bathroom and dressed again. I was too tired to
shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the
winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the bugg
December 23: Only 2' of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degrees.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she nuts ! ! ! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago ?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke my shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attach. If I ever catch that idiot who drives that
snowplow. I'll drag him through the snow by his feet. I know he hides around the
corner and waits for me to finishing shoveling and then he comes down the street
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been !
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents,
but I was busy watching for the blasted snowplow.
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#%$#$@%~$# slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. Do I hate the snow ! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "IT's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here ? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 degrees and the pipes froze.
December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. The old bag is
driving me crazy ! ! ! ! !
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am ?
December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9 inches perdicted.
December 31: Set fire to what''s left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ?
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first
snow of the season and the wife and I took our coffee and sat
for hours by the window watching
the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of
crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years
and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely
snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll
never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll
certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my
butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like the dickens.
The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are
too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the
blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. Man I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the darn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day.
That stupid snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel,
But they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower
And they're out. Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying. Bob says I have
to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it
probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to
go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got
undressed, went to the bathroom and dressed again. I was too tired to
shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the
winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the bugg
December 23: Only 2' of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degrees.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she nuts ! ! ! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago ?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke my shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attach. If I ever catch that idiot who drives that
snowplow. I'll drag him through the snow by his feet. I know he hides around the
corner and waits for me to finishing shoveling and then he comes down the street
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been !
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents,
but I was busy watching for the blasted snowplow.
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#%$#$@%~$# slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. Do I hate the snow ! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "IT's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here ? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 degrees and the pipes froze.
December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. The old bag is
driving me crazy ! ! ! ! !
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am ?
December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9 inches perdicted.
December 31: Set fire to what''s left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ?
