OT dog for protection.

[Kismet]

A man wanted a big, ferocious dog to protect his
> > business, so he
> > visited a kennel that specializes in attack dogs. The
> > man explained
> > to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest,
> > meanest, most vicious
> > dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the
> > man on a tour of
> > the premises.
> >
> > After they had been walking for a few minutes, they
> > came upon a large
> > dog.
> > He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the
> > cage.
> >
> > "He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said
> > the buyer.
> >
> > "Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have
> > something better
> > in mind for you."
> >
> > They continued walking around the premises, and after
> > a while they found
> > an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled
> > at the two men and
> > tried to bite them through the wire on his cage.
> >
> > "Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were
> > referring to
> > earlier."
> >
> > "Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better
> > in mind for you."
> >
> > The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came
> > upon a fairly large
> > dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his
> > butt. He did not
> > seem to notice as the men approached.
> >
> > "This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the
> > owner.
> >
> > The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he
> > exclaimed.
> >
> > "This dog seems quite tame; he doesn't act at all like
> > an attack dog at
> > all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his butt!"
> >
> > "I know, I know," said the owner. "But you see, he
> > just ate a lawyer,
> > and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
_____________________________________

 

[Pappy]

I think we all need some right now. That dog didn't get hold of Berk did it? BEErrrkkk!!

 

[Berkley]

Originally posted by Pappy
I think we all need some right now. That dog didn't get hold of Berk did it? BEErrrkkk!!

Nah, if he'd gotten hold of me, he'd be eating spearmints.
BTW, I got my own dog attack last night. After making an ass of myself on the forum, I took my drunken ass out to the hammock for a nap. Passed out on the hammock with glasses still on my face. At some point my foxterrorist decided to jump up on me, resulting in my feet still up in the hammock and my face digging into the yard. Now have a couple of lovely abrasions shaped like eyeglass rims on my cheek. Most who have seen me today speculated that my spouse finally tired of my BS and slapped the poop out of me, but the truth is the dog did it. And that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

 

[Pappy]

You didn't do any permanent damage did you? Hope all heals quickly. That sounds more like my wife though. I wonder some times how she puts up with some of my bull---t. I guess all is still well. She hasn't threatened to use a khuk on me yet.

 

[Ripper]

...but the truth is the dog did it. And that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

I used to be in the review chain for "Ground Safety Mishap Reports" (accident reports) when I was on active duty. Dog stories were one of the most frequently given excuses, I mean reasons, for off duty personal injuries: "Honest Gunny, I was just playing on the floor with my buddies dog when he head butted me in both eyes."
Regards,
Greg

 

[Ferrous Wheel]

heeheee. I got a friend who has the biggest german shepherd you'll ever see. The dog was so happy to see him when he came back from class that he jumped thru the plate glass window out onto his owner, breaking hsi owners arm. Woulda been perfect for AFV but it wasn't funny until after he healed.

"When happy animals attack"

Keith