OT for a smile{perhaps}

S

spiraltwista

Joined
Nov 29, 2002
Messages
3,229
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in San Diego. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk Gunny Sergeant slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again the same Marine slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the Marine and said, "I say, old chap, it's not my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

The Gunny replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

Spiral. :D
 
One thing about Uncle Bill - the old coot can sit you down in his living room and lay a guilt trip on you, telling about forumite's ten year old daughters tuning in and reading the forum. You'll end up feeling guilty when you say Gosh, or Darn, on the forum for ages after that.

;) ;) ;)
 
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an
elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she
said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and
finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
-------------------------------------
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the
retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air
and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can
have their way with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the
rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute
and says, "Close enough."

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
report that her car has been broken into. She is
hysterical as she explains her situation to the
dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she
cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on
the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by
mistake
 
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