I'm on my 49th year on the planet Earth, and have been preparing myself for the big 5 0. That and a funny thing that happened yesterday have brought an overview to my life. Today I called my Carpenter and told him I had complete faith in him. I called my Parents and told them I loved them. I called my wife and told her I loved her. "Keep on, Keeping on," I told my son Carter yesterday.
A lot of things happened this year. We saw an entire City disapear and watched Bill and Rusty leave. We got to see Iraq vote. And on a personal level, I finished the first draft of the book I've been working on. I also lost a close friend- a friend who decided he could best live without my friendship. That was hard for me. Another disagreement about how to define reality, but it serves to remind one that no one is perfect, and all of us make mistakes. I'm no stranger to them. They've been my constant companion since being born. So I've been looking over my imperfect life, family, friends, and imperfect wife, and I've come to this thread. I am imperfect. I've never cheated on my wife, but did drink a couple years ago, which is a kind of cheating on one's marriage and life, and had several other slips as well. I'm still lazy. I still think it a nice thing to do, as the old Jeffereson Airplane song went, 'to lay about and play in the sand."
Just what have I done in 50 years? Not much. An aquaintence from college is a multi millionare, known in the entertainment industry. Another is a Teacher, there's a hospital administrator, and one who edits music for film.
Compared to these I scarcely exist. But it goes back to how you define reality. When I was a young man I resolved to help people. I made parts of my life a walking, metamorphizing theatre. The Existential Roving Life Moment.
Bill would have got a kick out of my saying that. He admired the moment quite a bit. And in every one I could, Check-out line in Grocery stores, chat with a HiFi Salesman, nodding at the Minister of the local church, anywhere anytime my message has been the same; Life is real, Life is earnest, and the Grave is not it's goal. There is meaning in most if not all of the things we do, and every Plumber, Cake Baker, Cross Walk Guard, and HI Forumite knows that. Our lives have meaning and beauty. You want to know a real secret? It's not a secret, it's just that we sleep, we forget, we drift. But many times in the eyes of a Old Redneck Farmer I've seen the same message as the one I carry. Those Old Ones around you are our own hidden gurus, just waiting to be plugged in or talked to. John Prine's; "Hello In There."
In my own hugely wasted life there have been moments. I sometimes wonder if they aren't still there, being replayed over and over again on the edge of some exploding galaxy as Light and Sound continue their interaction through time and matter. No matter. I enjoy this forum as the legacy Bill and Rusty left behind them. We've had moments here. We've said to the internet,'Yes, life is real and so are these words on paper and screen." We've helped break new ground; a community of people from all over the world talking to one another as if they were next door. As real as the steel the Kamis pound out and the blood in our veins, these words connect us. Thanks to each and every one. We did this thing. Will it go on? Will it continue? I don't know. People certainly aren't going to stay here because I'm a Guru, your Moderators are Gurus, or that Gurus frequent these pages. They won't stay just for good deals either. I'm an ordinary guy making ordinary good and bad decisions, sometimes it seems to me the bad outweighs the good. But we have moments on screen greater than I or any one person. We have a grand Actuality. There are moments we exist as true as any rock cliff or time and space riddle. As a moderator I don't believe in banning people, for though we've had some rough spots, that must remain a rarity and true to Bill's wishes of an open Forum where people can get help and change their lives for the better. Our society lacks most means for redemption and this forum does not.
For my life, I've looked it over, as have all of you, and in my particular case I'm going to keep writing books, (keep up the fight- the good fight) I'm going to love my family, raise my sons, and for at least some time, be a moderator in HI forum.
That's about it. Oh, and the days will be accompanied by friends, their laughter, and the resounding sound of gunfire off the cliff walls, and the Wack Whop of a khukuri striking home. Some of you will write poetry that will be read, and your problems will be discussed with some diligence, love, and sarcasm. Triumphs, trips, and falls, all of them welcome against the sound of the Khukuri reaching for the Heart of the Wood.
munk
A lot of things happened this year. We saw an entire City disapear and watched Bill and Rusty leave. We got to see Iraq vote. And on a personal level, I finished the first draft of the book I've been working on. I also lost a close friend- a friend who decided he could best live without my friendship. That was hard for me. Another disagreement about how to define reality, but it serves to remind one that no one is perfect, and all of us make mistakes. I'm no stranger to them. They've been my constant companion since being born. So I've been looking over my imperfect life, family, friends, and imperfect wife, and I've come to this thread. I am imperfect. I've never cheated on my wife, but did drink a couple years ago, which is a kind of cheating on one's marriage and life, and had several other slips as well. I'm still lazy. I still think it a nice thing to do, as the old Jeffereson Airplane song went, 'to lay about and play in the sand."
Just what have I done in 50 years? Not much. An aquaintence from college is a multi millionare, known in the entertainment industry. Another is a Teacher, there's a hospital administrator, and one who edits music for film.
Compared to these I scarcely exist. But it goes back to how you define reality. When I was a young man I resolved to help people. I made parts of my life a walking, metamorphizing theatre. The Existential Roving Life Moment.
Bill would have got a kick out of my saying that. He admired the moment quite a bit. And in every one I could, Check-out line in Grocery stores, chat with a HiFi Salesman, nodding at the Minister of the local church, anywhere anytime my message has been the same; Life is real, Life is earnest, and the Grave is not it's goal. There is meaning in most if not all of the things we do, and every Plumber, Cake Baker, Cross Walk Guard, and HI Forumite knows that. Our lives have meaning and beauty. You want to know a real secret? It's not a secret, it's just that we sleep, we forget, we drift. But many times in the eyes of a Old Redneck Farmer I've seen the same message as the one I carry. Those Old Ones around you are our own hidden gurus, just waiting to be plugged in or talked to. John Prine's; "Hello In There."
In my own hugely wasted life there have been moments. I sometimes wonder if they aren't still there, being replayed over and over again on the edge of some exploding galaxy as Light and Sound continue their interaction through time and matter. No matter. I enjoy this forum as the legacy Bill and Rusty left behind them. We've had moments here. We've said to the internet,'Yes, life is real and so are these words on paper and screen." We've helped break new ground; a community of people from all over the world talking to one another as if they were next door. As real as the steel the Kamis pound out and the blood in our veins, these words connect us. Thanks to each and every one. We did this thing. Will it go on? Will it continue? I don't know. People certainly aren't going to stay here because I'm a Guru, your Moderators are Gurus, or that Gurus frequent these pages. They won't stay just for good deals either. I'm an ordinary guy making ordinary good and bad decisions, sometimes it seems to me the bad outweighs the good. But we have moments on screen greater than I or any one person. We have a grand Actuality. There are moments we exist as true as any rock cliff or time and space riddle. As a moderator I don't believe in banning people, for though we've had some rough spots, that must remain a rarity and true to Bill's wishes of an open Forum where people can get help and change their lives for the better. Our society lacks most means for redemption and this forum does not.
For my life, I've looked it over, as have all of you, and in my particular case I'm going to keep writing books, (keep up the fight- the good fight) I'm going to love my family, raise my sons, and for at least some time, be a moderator in HI forum.
That's about it. Oh, and the days will be accompanied by friends, their laughter, and the resounding sound of gunfire off the cliff walls, and the Wack Whop of a khukuri striking home. Some of you will write poetry that will be read, and your problems will be discussed with some diligence, love, and sarcasm. Triumphs, trips, and falls, all of them welcome against the sound of the Khukuri reaching for the Heart of the Wood.
munk
