OT: The Joys of Fatherhood...

Runs With Scissors

Runs With Scissors

Joined
Dec 3, 2000
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rackin' frackin' gawdern little ^&^%$%$!!!!!!

Got called into a parent teacher conference yesterday. Discovered that my Brilliant, loving, sweet, mature, advanced little seven year old has in the last two weeks decided to make a buffoon of himself.

He's been comin' home steppin' an' a fetchin', bowin' an' a scrapin', gettin' his homework done, cleaning his room, doing excellent in Judo, etc., but...

Evidently when he's getting into class, he's making every obscene noise imagineable, talking over the teacher, deliberately falling out of his chair and wallowing around like a complete idiot. Yesterday his big claim to fame was the creation of an uhmm...errr...anatomically correct snowman out on the playground. His grades have dropped from an overall A+ to what equals an F average in the last couple weeks.

I was so darn livid yesterday I woulda beat spanked him with a freakin' canoe paddle if his mama had let me....GRRRR!!!!!!

Instead I got to verbally rip him a new orifice, and tell him he WOULD NOT walk the path I have as long as I've got a breat left in my body.

So, now I'm helping him do extra credit work, homework, study work, etc. with him until ten at night, and then spending the day in his classroom three days a week to stay on top of him until he gets his sh!t together.

Freakin' kids....p!ss ya' off so much you wanna strangle 'em, but then you remember that the very reason you're p!ssed off is because you love 'em and want them to succeed.
 
Not saying it was a plan, but maybe his instincts worked. :rolleyes:


Or, he could be in seven-year-old love and demonstrating his seven-year-old's manliness.


That's a great age to have your kids be, no matter what they are doing.
 
Oh boy, I have all this to look forward too!! My little darling is 3.5 and we have
anoher one in the oven. So I am taking notes.
Did you ask him why he is acting the way he is?
If he says "cause the chicks dig it" don't let him listen to country music for awhile. :D Good luck, let us know the whys and wherefore's so us new Dads can take notes.
 
Then he will turn into a teen-ager and you will really experience the "joy" of parenthood. :) But you know, if you keep on them & raise them right they will turn out OK. My 3 did - and to think I almost murdered them all ! :D
 
Wait till he hit puberty :D :eek: :D The teacher told me that year that if he survived the year was good :cool: :cool:
 
RWS, I've got 4 "fallen" angels of my own. I feel your pain, brother! :mad: :D Like my dad always told me, "Son, I wouldn't sell you for a million $. Then again, if I didn't already have you, I wouldn't give a wooden nickel for you!"

Is he your oldest? Like others have said, stay on top of him, teach him right, and he will turn out just fine. You, on the other hand, might just be driven to insanity :D

stevo
 
Mines 15, and she'll be old enough to drive in a year. :eek: :eek: Dad told me, when I asked, that the teenage years are kind of like the "terrible two's", only you add a drivers license. He also said that if he'd known that grandkids were so much fun, he'd have had them first.:D
I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world. And it would take all that money, for me to have another kid. Gotta love them, otherwise, mankind would never have survived as long as it has.
 
None of that sounds very bad, pretty harmless stuff.
He's a bright kid and he's going to make an ass out of himself. I thought that's how we got Presidents?

He really does sound OK to me. I'd be worried if he NEVER cut up.



munk
 
The teacher was not happy, but he probably made the other kids laugh with his attack of the "sillies." Maybe he needs an "acceptable" outlet for the urge to perform.
 
They get better over 30, my sweet aunt fannie....

Last Sunday, the younger of my two (b 1970), was playing in a Lake Shore league soccer game, a co-ed league. Her team was losing 10-0. She saw an opportunity on goal, cut, zigged, zagged, set her right leg, drew back her left...

and the two-hundred pound male goalie hit her right leg with his feet in a flying tackle and snapped both bones 4 inches below the knee.

Surgery was yesterday.

She said, "I don't see why he was trying so hard, they were winning 10-zip."

I inquired, "Why were YOU trying so hard, you were losing 10-zip?"

Uh, she's 5'2", 125 lbs.



muttermuttermutter :rolleyes:
 
Kis, as you know, in some cultures, an effort would be made to let the losing team score at least a goal. Not in our culture. Shutout! I used to umpire baseball games for side-$$, and the crowds were often like something in Rome, circa 150 AD -- roaring with approval at every embarassment of the hated foe.
 
Just a minor update...

Things are working out pretty well, now, as long as I don't lose my mind while teaching how to tell time.

I think he's pretty much just seven years old, and figuring himself out, as well as the art of social intereraction. I believe he merely needs to rapidly learn that acting the fool in class is an exercise in p!ss poor judgement that best not be repeated.

On the funny side.....

One of his many problems had been going to the bathroom like twelve or fourteen times daily. (and that's not including the extra six or so every evening while studying and doing homework.) Now the teacher can't do much to stop it in class because she's knows the first time she says no, some kid's gonna urinate in his drawers and create a world of trouble for her.

So, I just a couple days ago informed him that his mother and I are greatly concerned that he's showing SEVERE signs and symptoms of DIBS. Developmental Irritable Bladder Syndrome. and if the situation didn't improve immediately, we would have to take him into the doctor to commence treatment. (yes, I really talk to him that way)

The treatment would consist of a regular series of shots given every other day- Most likely Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Each visit he would recieve FOUR shots in the rear given with a quite a large needle. It would hurt very badly, about like a good spanking, but he'd have the moral satisfaction of knowing he's not being punished. And the good news was that his Judo days and scouting are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so he might not be too sore to participate once he got used to it.

Would you believe that since that day his bathroom trips have decreased from 12-14 daily down to 1-2? :D
 
Nice story. I know it will work out with a dad like "Runs With Scissors" !

:D

I sure didn't like to hear about your daughter Kis............... :mad:
I think that fellow definitely should be talked to. If he displays an attitude, he needs to be taught a lesson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :grumpy:
 
Runs With Scissors said:
I believe he merely needs to rapidly learn that acting the fool in class is an exercise in p!ss poor judgement that best not be repeated.
Click to expand...

Though it may be difficult to believe... I played the fool in class for about a year or so. For a gimpy kid like myself, it was the only way I figured I could get kudos and adulation from my peers. However, the crowd is fickle. The same people who howled and laughed beat me up in the next class. A little public humiliation from the teacher made me learn my lesson and shut up. However, heckling is still a hobby for me. I know the proper place and time for it... usually.
:rolleyes: :)
 
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