OT: Trucking humor

[Bill Sanders]

Joe Bob and Bubba have been driving trucks together for years. They are doing a job interview with a new company, and Joe Bob is the first one interviewed. The man askes him what he would do if he was hauling a heavy load down a mountain, and lost his brakes. At the bottom of the hill is a stalled schoolbus full of kids. Joe Bob says, "I'd wake up Bubba". The man askes, "Why the heck would you wake up Bubba?". Joe Bob says, "Cause in all the years we been driving together, Bubba ain't never seen no wreck like we about to have!".

 

[Josh Feltman]

--Josh

 

[Yvsa]

[font=&quot]


[/font][font=&quot]A San Francisco cabby picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and the driver won't stop staring at her in the rear view mirror. She asks him why he is staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you,
but I don't want to offend you."[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]"Well, I've always had a fantasy to kiss a nun."[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1 You have to promise you are single and #2 You must be Catholic."[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]"OK", the nun says, "Pull into the next alley"[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]"My dear child, said the nun, Why are you crying?"[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, "I'm married and I'm Jewish."[/font][font=&quot]

[/font][font=&quot]The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."[/font][font=&quot] [/font]

 

[Larry S.]

There's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new,
candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio
blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is
carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her
disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that
she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to
within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her
on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks
like a wave and she waves back.
Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer
and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more
visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his *ss,
and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.
The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a
circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs
her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees
to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and
pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the
Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he
is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000
pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks
over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is
rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why
are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!" She is
laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out,
"While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

Larry S.