OT- Woman beating and the common Bruce

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Bruce of 1

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Hope no one minds, hope no one cares. Feel free to delete what you will Pendative, Uncle Bill or Rusty. I do not know what is graphic or obscene here I only know these are my words and common thoughts.
This is very off topic but really I just found this out now, and feel the compulsion to speak this. Literaly not 5 minutes ago. So let's dive in.

My sister, 30 years old, lives in Ontario and a good girl, called this morning, found out the long and short.
My second sisters boyfriend (25ish and with a 2 year old daughter) is an controling jealous woman beater.

So my local sister is being beaten up. Fantastic.

you know the sort, we all have. we all have had these people in our lives. the abusers or the victimes and each one pushes me farther into a red dark center of life where no life has worth, where I am a murderer. With every person in my life with sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse or just plain been screwed with my morals die. I have an anger with no purpose, an anger with triggers.

So my sister is a victim, fantastic.

So with that said the story does go on, another reality I face. My seperated parents seemed to have known this for some time. My father deciding to "let them work it out" and my mother simply didn't have the time.

My parents did nothing, fantastic.

Well if my mother didn't have the time, well guess what I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME , I HAVE ALL THE TIME AND I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT TIME!!!!!!! I am time.


My victomous sister lives 4 hours away in a small house in a dead town, A place I would sooner enjoy a car crash then a dinner.

It has been arranged for her to have a place to live, 2 places actualy. Near home. Home is Sackville a town about 15 minutes away from the city
Halifax. My role, delegated to me is security at the moment. silence and security. I will be there when she is removed. I will keep him away, I will kill him if he makes me.

This story is subject to change as it is developed, my guarantee is only that this is the situation as I understand in now

But should silence, should silence be a factor at all?

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MY current girlfriend, i love her too death.
I took her from a jealous guy, i can;t think of an appropriate word to describe the filth , not unlike this one. I could care less about him, his motivation. My girlfriend was never beaten, and for only that reason i am not in jail for murder. The image of her being "hurt" causes my fuctions to stop, I have no clue how to repay this boy.

I know these people, these people with minds like sewers. with reasons and habits drenched in their own self pity. Selfishness that has no limit and completely convinced they are nothing more than average and normal and thay they are not doing harm for their kind words that follow after. If they are capable of change I have not seen this.

I toss murder and death around like they are nothing in this writing. I do respect these words, i do respect the choices that have to be made. Somone has to be the Punisher, someone has to be Spawn, someone has to be Shaft, somone has to be Dirty Harry. I am none of these, I am Bruce of 1. I am only a person , a person with a family that exists in broken shards and who owns his mind.

I am a good guy who does bad things, i never once harmed a woman, never once fought a person smaller or weaker than myself, never once forced sex by guilt or a mind game or lies.
The concept of killing, to remove is ever so easy. Maybe that is where my life should go. to find those that are disgusting and remove them from my planet. That in itself is unrealistic, by all rights disgusting.
I only promise this world a kind heart with its fitting actions.


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After posting this I feel quite nervous, I am sorry if this is unappropriate.
 
I understand your feelings on this subject. But some unsolicited advice is in order. Never post what you might or intend to do on the internet. If you ever follow through, it may haunt you later. :eek:
 
totally disgusting. And disappionting.

We all have our triggers, and fer most it is the folks we care abt getting screwed over in any fashion by bullies.

Like Semp says, wath out fer self incrimination, it could be used to build a premeditated murder case er sumthin.

I guess I'd add keep yer head down, concentrate on how you can help (and not what you want to do to help, but how you are asked to help.)

I've participated in a similar snatch-n-grab from a similar situation (buddies sis), and you should find out if the guy she's living with owns a firearm. If any legal action like a restraining order will be enacted, get the cops involved when it comes time for her to fly away. Also, make sure to plan her escape for a time when he is not likey to me home. The less interaction with the scumbag the better, and it'll keep ye outta the slammer.

Domestic abuse sickens me. Many of my friends and relatives have been used or abused in their lives. The best we can do is offer support.

I belive in some version of karma, and those who do folks wrong do get theirs (course, they problaly blame their crappy existence on something besides themselves, thats how those types are.

To add some khuk content--I believe it was Uncle who told us of the nature of the blessings done to all HI khuks, which involves and incantation that they hope the khuk may never be needed or drawn for dirty work (such as butchering lo-lifes). I would treat this situation the same way--I'm sure you're capable and well motivated for the deed, but the losses outweigh the gains, my friend. The focus is to help her, not trash another bozo. there's a world full of 'em anyway, and they keep makin more.;)

Keith
 
I hate to sound like an Ann Landers about this, but it is very clear that you need some counseling and anger management. You can't control how others deal with their feelings, but you can have some control over your own feelings and actions. I urge you to seek a qualified councilor either through your religion, regional health agency, physician, or other referral.

A long stay in prison is not going to help you to be a better person, and certainly won't help the situation with your sister one bit. It sounds like you are needed, and taking the law into your hands is not going to help her, you or anybody.

Excuse me for butting in, but I needed to say that.
 
I think it's time to move beyond being a guy who does bad things. Whatever that is. You don't beat smaller people, you don't hurt good guys- and as for the rest- yes, we all have murder in our hearts, so I don't think you're a 'bad' guy exactly.

I'm curious about what charges you can file against you're sister's boyfriend. It may not be neccesary for her to file.

Get the counseling because you are obviously eaten up with this stuff.

See a lawyer.

A lot of people don't realize how much abuse and sickness our society hides. It's there, and it sounds like it's past time for you to get on top of the trash pile.

I'd listen to what Semper said.

You're parents are obviously too ill to intervene.

There are many of us here in forum who have some inkling of what you're up against.

If you do something too rash- you cannot help anyone from prison. That's part of the reason I'm not in prison now.

munk
 
Everyone here has given you good advice. Please take it. And yes, some of us definitely know where you're coming from. Do not care to think how CLOSE I've been at times to something that may have made world as a whole better(I still believe that), but woul dhave made things harder on those i care about in particular, due to losing me to jail/wahtever. I'm sure the same is true of your sisters. Can't say I have much respect for your parents, at least in this case, especially father, but your sisters still need you around, and not in jail/worse.

Do thinka bout the counseling too. Nothing wrong, or girly, or whatever about admitting you need someone who can listen, and give good advice, adn can help you. Owe my counselor my parents marriage(went to him both as family, my parents alone, and myself alone) and possibly my life. Sure as heck am a lot happier because of him than otherwise.
 
I come from an abusive background, and abuse is still one of my "hot buttons", which probably means I still have some unresolved issues with mine.

When I think of my anger at the ways people sometimes victimize other people, sometimes I look back at the mistakes I've made in my life. I look at times when I was abusive to younger siblings, or a pet. I think of ways of being that showed arrogance and perhaps outright aggressiveness, at times.

I have changed so much, and I am so thankful...but it took me years, in fact about 7 years after I was totally out of that environment, and hard drugs.

It may not be easy for others, either. Everyone always has personal choice, and we can choose to lash out in anger, so I am not attempting to excuse wrongful behavior on others' part at all. I will say that my list of people to kill went away after I forgave myself for allowing all the "bad" things to happen to me over the years.

You really have to start with you. Be as peaceful as you can, love your neighbor, protect your relatives, and carry weapons.

And be well. :)

Best,

John
 
For those who mentioned counseling for myself I think you are quite right.

I can say easily where my anger comes from.

I did seek counseling and found meditation and yoga to put me in a better place, really releasing alot of anger stresses that drove me to brinks.
I find that yoga with a healthy workout regime just makes me a better person. It is still in my power to use my anger, to control it release it and draw strength from it. Tese bad things however unhinge my mind, wich has its own workout regime.

well all understand that of course physical conflict would only be necisairy if made necisairy. If i went to jail for protecting my sister and niece, yes I would go to jail and do my time with a smiling. I am of no use in jail and will do everything to avoid that scenario.


All I want is my sister and my niece with her and safe. Her boyfriend can have his rights as a father peacefully and if need be at a distance.
 
Semper Fi said:
I understand your feelings on this subject. But some unsolicited advice is in order. Never post what you might or intend to do on the internet. If you ever follow through, it may haunt you later. :eek:
Click to expand...


ditto. if no one, including the people involved ever know your actions or your intents in any way shape and form - all for the better. secrets are hard to keep, but the deeper you stuff them down the better. never mention anything regarding someone you wish to commit a crime against, in any forum, be it conversation, internet, mesages, or written word. (in regards to acting against them)

anger managent is a nice idea, if you the kind of person who can take therapy. but ask yourself this, and be as serious as you can about thinking it over - would it be worth going to prison for life over? ask yourself that question every time you think about doing something to someone. people can grow very old in prison - and you cant protect the people you love from the inside.


(edited, kind of unneeded... was writing it as you responded :rolleyes: )
 
(edited, kind of unneeded... was writing it as you responded :rolleyes: )[/QUOTE]

Not one worry, all words shared here only serve with good intentions.
 
Bruce of 1,

Given your stream of conciousness and subteranian mental state now, I think doing anything that would have to be a 'secret' is a grave mistake. Look at you. You do anything dark now, however justified theoretically, and I don't see how you'll ever pull out. You'll internalize and make it a permenant part of the fabric.

I think it is the last thing you need- another dark action.

It is your Sister you must reach. You can't beat this guy for her- she must throw him out.

WE live in a world where we'd rather be beaten than walk alone.

Yep- you fight this for your Sister and both of you loose- she learns nothing, you accomplish little. She learns nothing because in her world it is always someone else who establishes the action. She simply adapts.

You gotta talk to your sister.
How many of these abusers she chooses you think you can beat up for her?
What a wasted dance that would be.


munk
 
If it's eating your gut out from inside, then it's appropriate by me.

My dad never knew that his sister was being abused by her husband. She divorced him back in the late 60's. My dad would have killed the jerk by beating him to death if he had known.

If you have a church minister or spiritual advisor you can respect, call him and talk it out face to face as soon as possible.

If not, the SANE THING TO DO is call the local mental health center. They'd love to see someone in your condition, empathise with you, suggest ways to alter the situation, help you work it out for yourself.

I can't guarantee that's the way you'd be treated if you sought counseling for this, because some psychologists and social workers are jerks ( me being one of them ). If you don't get treated they way I said, tell the clinic you want to see someone who isn't an a horse's ass.

My email is listed if you want to talk more by direct email.

Hang in there and find other ways to vent your anger before charging into the fray. And good on you for stepping in for your sister.
 
two outside comments-

Bruce of 1 has the beginnings of a good writer going. Not all subteranian (sic) life is a boiling caldren, you know. You might float along quite happily and have much to say if the anger would stop framing the experience.

Rusty, several times in the last month posters have qualified their posts and or threads, wondering if it is appropriate for the forum. You've just given a qualifier- as long as his guts are being eaten out, it's ok. I'm kind of wondering- I don't remember this hesitancy about content previously- has anything changed in Uncle Bill's forum we shoud know about?


munk
 
Call the sheriff in her town. I bet they already have a sheet on the guy.
Likely as not he has a warant for unpaid parking tickets or some stuipidity that could keep in in jail for a few days while you get her out of town.
 
bruce - my heart goes out to you, though my hands be stayed. I think, deep down inside, you know what is right and wrong, you know what you can and shouldn't do. Don't give in to over-protective feelings - remember the story of the man under the bridge who must choose between saving his son, or a train full of people? It's all about the greater good. Think ahead and imagine, looking back, how you'll see this situation differently in 5, 10 or 20 years.


I don't see any problem with this thread. We've all suffered ills, and can relate. It doesn't belong in W&C.
 
Munk, my comment on it "eating his guts out" was meant as an affirmation that this is not just a khukuri forum but is here for us, as Uncle says, to be "a haven".

A place where people are valued for whom they are. A place where someone can spill their guts and get told they are not alone but rather are included in whether they want to be or not.

It was not meant to be a qualifier. Any stray dog or cat can follow us home here to HI. Or stray munk's, or Bruise's*. This is the Cantina ( from the Cantina scene in the First Star Wars ) - we expect weird in here! If they don't like being adopted into the HI family like it or not, then they can leave us. We don't leave them.

Does that satisfy your question or do I have to name one of the kittens "munk" ? There's one feisty fellow that sidles up, down, and on inclines like a monkey, as a matter of fact.

* Referring to BruiseLeee
 
Just wanted to hear you say it. You've always been the champion of, (and Bill) of this as a community. The qualifiers from many the last few weeks made me worry doubt was settling in. Good to hear it's the same town.

I had a cat named Jake. Now,that was a cat.



munk
 
Bruce - we are doing you injustice by distracting from your grief....please accept my apology.


munk - same ole stuff here....I think the qualifiers are coming because people are starting to realize that this forum, while more free and open than the others, is not a free-for-all.....rules allow for freedom.

Rusty - where's that quote when I need it?


Back to regular programming...
 
Pen this distraction is actualy very much valued.


I think people has this a bit warped in their minds, never once did i think of simpley "beating the tar" out of the guy, or insulting him as a solution.
if a simple ass handing was all that was needed to set wronged things straight , hell alot of us would have had easier lives

I don;t feel incriminated by what i have said simpley by the fact I won't get into that scenario where it can be used against me.

Thank you to everyone for your moments of thought.
 
we all have murder in our hearts
Click to expand...
munk is so very right. I know this feeling and it shocked me when I suddenly knew "it" was there - it was a thing that had to do with sexual abuse of minors and the "victims" rejected to involve the police because the abuser was the father resp. uncle and some of the "cases" were from too long ago (but one was not). I was in the town where he lived and started to run to his house as soon as I found out. Good for him and for me he was not at home. Now he knows that I know and it makes him fear me. We told the police what he did but did not charge him just to protect possible further victims - so he knows he is in danger if he ever does a wrong step.
Make them full of fear - and find peace yourself. Prayer works for me.
Andreas
 
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