Passing some time on Blade FBF

Bartlax4

Bartlax4

Joined
Mar 6, 2014
Messages
400
I'm bored. Anyone want to help entertain? Tell me a joke, list a quip (is that the right word?), you know....something to entertain while all the Bladies are havin' a grand ole' time and we wait for the scraps..

I'll start with one of my favorites, Chuck Norris Facts. Here is a forum appropriate one:

"Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter"
 
Since I'm stuck at school working:

"When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top."
 
Stepping out of the shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her "chest assets" are too small. Instead of simply telling her it's not so, the husband jokingly comes up with a suggestion: "If you want your chest to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub your chest for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing her chest. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper on my chest every day will make my chest grow over the years?" Without missing a beat the husband says, "Worked for your butt; didn't it?"
 
I found a good one, happened to be looking around at some random posts and found some gold. So this was in a thread called Expensive Knife. Talking about the most expensive knife people have bought. Here is one guys post.

Little over $650,OOO.OO I purchased the knife about 14 years ago while on vac. at Dollywood in Tn. The Group Alabama was playing there for 3 nights, man what a great show. We had family in from 5 states and rented a monster 7 BR house on top a mountain near Gatlinberg Tn... All the men were in this huge game room in the basement, been drinking whiskey, burning a lot of "fire" that summer day, when we all heard all hell break loose way upstarts. House had basement and then 2 ground floors. Coming to the ground floor kitchen I reached for protection and went to the top floor with an 5 inch 'ol hickory pearing knife.There I saw one of my 5 brother in laws naked in bed with my wife, and his wife beating them both with the legs off a broken ironing board. She turned to yell at me, my brother in law jumps up, and I swear to God, and was acquitted of all charges, him running naked, fell into that 'ol hickory as he was falling to the hardwood floor. Needless to say that ended the trip for me and we split it up 50/50. if you count the Alabama tickets, about $650,140.00. Still got the knife. Sheriff laughed like hell when he gave it to me after court in TN. Divorce was in NC. WTF ps fear was the reason I got the knife.----Treeshaker

source-http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/showthread.php/1147077-Expensive-Knife?highlight=burt+foster
 
viral said:
I found a good one, happened to be looking around at some random posts and found some gold. So this was in a thread called Expensive Knife. Talking about the most expensive knife people have bought. Here is one guys post.

Little over $650,OOO.OO I purchased the knife about 14 years ago while on vac. at Dollywood in Tn. The Group Alabama was playing there for 3 nights, man what a great show. We had family in from 5 states and rented a monster 7 BR house on top a mountain near Gatlinberg Tn... All the men were in this huge game room in the basement, been drinking whiskey, burning a lot of "fire" that summer day, when we all heard all hell break loose way upstarts. House had basement and then 2 ground floors. Coming to the ground floor kitchen I reached for protection and went to the top floor with an 5 inch 'ol hickory pearing knife.There I saw one of my 5 brother in laws naked in bed with my wife, and his wife beating them both with the legs off a broken ironing board. She turned to yell at me, my brother in law jumps up, and I swear to God, and was acquitted of all charges, him running naked, fell into that 'ol hickory as he was falling to the hardwood floor. Needless to say that ended the trip for me and we split it up 50/50. if you count the Alabama tickets, about $650,140.00. Still got the knife. Sheriff laughed like hell when he gave it to me after court in TN. Divorce was in NC. WTF ps fear was the reason I got the knife.----Treeshaker

source-http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/showthread.php/1147077-Expensive-Knife?highlight=burt+foster
Click to expand...

"If you count the Alabama tickets..."

LOL!!!
 
"Never start a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he will just kill you."

Three rules for men over 60:
1) Never waste a hard on
2) Never pass up an opportunity to pee
3) Never trust a fart

Bill
 
Joe Duder said:
Stepping out of the shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her "chest assets" are too small. Instead of simply telling her it's not so, the husband jokingly comes up with a suggestion: "If you want your chest to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub your chest for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing her chest. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper on my chest every day will make my chest grow over the years?" Without missing a beat the husband says, "Worked for your butt; didn't it?"
Click to expand...

Good one Duder :highly_amused:
I didn't see that coming
 
Chuck Norris said: That's enough God, Bob Ross will take it from here.


4MFWsN3.jpg
 
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