Picking up the pieces?

[BaliLover]

So after 4 years of dating, my live-in Fiancee decided to call it quits today after claiming to be unhappy for a long time and having irreconcilable differences. While I'm happy that she did this before the marriage, its still upsetting and putting me in a difficult position.

Together we made our bills easily, when she had a crappy job I picked up the slack, and now she just got a really good job and shes out the door. Now I'm stuck with what I believe are more bills than I can afford. I have 5 cats that are like children to me so finding another place to live isn't going to be real easy, and honestly, the rent where I'm living is only a bit more than the bad areas of my town.

I've also lost all contact with any friends I had. Most got married, moved away, or ended up in jail. We were each others best friend until she got this newest job. With a shortage of money, its going to be hard to go out and meet people, and my job is at a small shop that doesn't have much of a customer base so no chace to meet someone there.

So my question is, how do I pick up the pieces and start over? Where do I even begin? I know I'm probably going to have to sell off everything I can to make my bills but I don't know how long that'll last since the economy is apparently hurting all over.

 

[shaldag]

Sorry to hear this.

OK, starting over. There are plenty of places to meet new friends, including the female variety. Do you belong to a church/synagogue/insert house of worship here--? Consider joining one?

Want to change jobs? Have you considered taking classes in the local college (most of them will have financial plans to make it easy). Learning something new is always great. Of course, you got to watch out for all the girls in those colleges.......

Get of of the blue funk, understandable though it is. Get out of the house (to do something constructive, not hang out at the local bar). Get your head around the idea that your real life is ahead of you, not behind you.

How is that for a start?

 

[Absintheur]

One solution is to find a room mate to split the costs of housing. That alone would both relieve the financial pressure and add a bit of stability to your situation. That would allow you to start picking up the pieces with less worries.

 

[Tim-Gabz]

Did you get to keep the DVDs and CDs?


Don't go out of your way to meet girls but do try and vary your lifestyle. Abisintheur has good advice on the quickest route to financial relief.

You have a job, but want better in a rough economic climate. Use the job and your independence to lever your way up to a position that when the economy improves you are head hunting material. Courses and 2nd jobs can create that bridge.

I am in a rough job at the moment and some great job offers I was negotiating in the UK and Canada went south with the housing market. I am using the quite times to improve other skills and brush up on old ones.

 

[ratstuph]

bl,
I can understand your attachment to your animals, especially when you've just had an emotional rug pulled out from under your feet, but is there anyone who would want some of them? I'm not talking abandoning your animals, I'm just wondering if you would be doing some of them, and yourself, a favor by finding a few other homes. That might help with some aspects of both your finances and ability to be flexible in housing. Five cats is a lot of cat stuph to deal with.
As far as meeting new people goes, my local newspaper lists a ton of groups that meet for various reasons, some to deal with life-challenges, some more like hobbies, and some are volunteer opportunities. Perhaps there is something like that in your area. Nothing like helping others out, to get out of yourself. Also new contacts can potentially lead to new opportunities.
Good luck and let us know how it is going.
rats...

 

[zenheretic]

One doesn't have to spend tons of cash to meet people if one is semi-fully active. There are lots of clubs such as hiking clubs.

For the more adventuresome there are the Hash House Harriers (HHH), they self describe themselves as a drinking club with a running problem. Don't worry Hash House refers to a breakfast house, that serves breakfast hash.

There are HHH clubs around the world. They were started by British military folks in Singapore, I believe, as a method to stay in shape. The general gist is one person (the rabbit) runs ahead blazing a trail (using flour or chalk). About 10 minutes later the rest of the pack tries to catch the rabbit. The rabbit of course blazes fake trails and tries to never get caught.

Sounds like a lot of work but it isn't. It is generally Co-ed. After the run, the group gathers, makes fun of each other and drinks. For some reason the women flash a lot. People get friendly. Search on the internet, you are sure to get a good idea.