Please forgive me ahead of time...

S

shane justice

Joined
May 12, 2003
Messages
1,606
You guys are a great bunch. Your words are as good as your deeds.

I have a lot of respect for you all.

When I got Dan's email about Uncle Bill passing on...I didn't know what to do...now Rusty has followed...

I have been reading your prayers and thoughts, waiting for a time when it would be ok to jump in....

I was reading some of Bill's posts...from a long time ago. Thinking about the kind of people Bill and Rusty were...

You guys will PLEASE forgive me for saying this...

They were a pair of Big Nut, walking the walk, talking the talk, all out, straight up, take care of business from off the corner good guys!

They showed respect and got it. They did what they said they would. Gave better than what they got...and they kept smiling.

They showed personal strength beyond what any of us expected...and Rusty....(who knew he wasn't well?) hung around long enough to tell us Bill was gone...and then went along his journey without a complaint(that I know of) on this forum.

Dang guys...I'm gonna lift a glass to both of them tonight...and I will pour a glass for them each. So at 9PM mountain standard...I will be at my kitchen table drinking scotch. And if all of you would do the same...we can have a proper wake for them two wonderful bastards!

Finally...it may be in bad taste...and you can hate me forever for suggesting it...but Bill and Rusty would approve...I have no doubt....

Some body mentioned that three good MEN passed this week...

Uncle Bill
Rusty
Pope John Paul

Ok...so I WILL be damned for saying this...
That sounds like the beginning of one HELL of a good joke!

Uncle Bill, Rusty and the Pope meet at the pearly gates...
or
Uncle Bill, and Rusty are in heaven and the Pope shows up...

I started thinking about it more and more...and got to laughing...and crying a bit...

Bill and rusty would have laughed too I think...

Maybe it is too early...the pain is too great for most...

But for any of us who can remember and laugh I would like to sponsor a contest....whoever writes the best joke in honor of Bill and Rusty...will
win a knife from me.

Here's my entry.......

Bill and Rusty are sitting at a table in the Nirvana Cantina. They are drinking and smoking and carrying on. In general just having a hell of a good time.
Just then the Pope walks by. He is dressed in all his finest. He looks over at Bill and Rusty and says..."Who knew?"

God bless them and us. And God Bless Yangdu who has to bear a heavy burden.

Respectfully,
Shane
 
I'd prefer to think of them sitting there at the Pearly Gates cafe catching up on old times, splitting a pitcher of cold Heineken and a pack of Camels when they see God, Ghandi, the Pope, Confucious, Buddha, Mohammed, etc., etc., walking by in a group, and all of them are carrying ultra fancy Kothimodas, Chandra Samshers, gold handled WWII's, etc. Stuff that would make even John Powell drool. (The Pope who just got his and has been cutting the air with it trying it out to get the feel of it is apologizing to Ghandi for accidentally slicing open the back of his shawl.)

Uncle Bill turns to Rusty and says, "See, I knew it all along!" (-:

N.
 
Don't know the joke, but here's the punchline -


So Rusty says "who needs a Popemobile when you got a Mendowood cane and a wheelgun on your hip!" :eek: :cool:


Nice remembrances Shane - no offense taken. I think UB and Rusty would approve.
 
It has been a heck of a week. So many losses. I'm lifting a glass now, and will lift several more today. But as to doing so tonight...I gotta go to work (sucks) in the morning after a week off for spring break. My thoughts are with you all.

Jeff
 
The Pope, Uncle Bill, and Rusty are trudging up the path towards the pearly gates, bs’ing and having a good time. As they approach the gates they see St. Peter, his spectacles on his nose, hunched over a massive leatherbound tome.

Pope John Paul approaches first. St. Peter leafs through his book to the proper page. “Your language has been appropriate during your life. You have resisted the temptation to swear. Your drinking has been confined to the Holy Sacraments. We are pleased to have you here. Wait by my side for a moment."

Then Bill steps up. St Peter finds his page. “Mr. Martino! I see you were a sailor, and used the colorful language typical of that breed. I also see you had a habit of drinking Heinekin. I’m afraid we can’t allow you to enter here. Go stand over there while I process this last applicant.

Rusty steps up. “Mr. Slate! I see you have a penchant for weaponry and colorful language. In addition, you did not show proper respect for medical personnel during your time on Earth. Go stand over there with Mr. Martino.

St. Peter presses a buzzer on his desk, a giant cloud of smoke appears, and out steps Mephistopheles. He is carrying a huge trident, and he bellows at Bill and Rusty, “Off to the lake of brimstone!” as he pokes at them with his trident. Rusty gives a snort and a scoff, and blurts out, “You know, a 16.5” WWII would make short work of that old pitchfork. Just what are you guys carrying these days?”

The sneer on Mephistopheles’ face turns into a frown, his countenance droops, and he looks like he is about to cry. “This is my favorite trident, I’ve had it for 10,000 years.”


Then Bill steps up and pats him on the back. “Meph, old boy, the trident was superceded millennia ago by superior technology. Why, we’ve had boys forging khukuris for a long time now. Say, do you think that there lake of brimstone can be brought up to a good forging temperature? Rusty and I might just be able to fix you guys up. There’s just a few little supply and distribution questions we need to solve.”

Mephistopheles wipes a tear from his eye and his countenance begins to brighten. He, Bill, and Rusty begin an animated conversation.

The Pope looks at St. Peter and says “We’re in a heap of f---ing trouble! Call the Big Guy!”

St. Peter reaches out and hits a red button under his desk.

There is a thunderclap. Mephistopheles is swept away by a great wind, receding until he becomes a tiny speck in the distance.

Out of the clouds comes a great booming voice, “PETER! YOU DOLT! LET MY FRIENDS IN.” JOHN, BILL, AND RUSTY, THERE ARE SOME CHECKERBOARDS SET UP IN THE OLD STORE. JUST PULL UP A CRACKER-BARELL WHEN YOU GET THERE. I’LL BE BY IN A WHILE.”
 
RR and I will lift a glass to these two tomorrow.

So, Bill Martino, Rusty Slate, and Pope John Paul 2 are passing through the Pearly Gates, having been duly admitted by St. Peter. God walks by, and whispers, Who is that?

That's Bill Martino, Lord, Peter whispers back, embarrassed. Don't you remember?

No, no, I know who Uncle Bill is, of course- but who's that guy with Rusty?

(Apologies in advance. I believe "John Paul" did his best to follow right action, even when it wasn't easy.)

John
 
No apologies necessary guys. I believe that Uncle and Rusty would rather see us smiling than crying, even if the smiles are a little bittersweet. I'm not much for coming up with jokes but I wanted to say these are all pretty good. WKWJB, classic! :)

John, I got your message, see you there. I've got four Heinekens left, and will bring them along.
 
Spectre said:
RR and I will lift a glass to these two tomorrow.

So, Bill Martino, Rusty Slate, and Pope John Paul 2 are passing through the Pearly Gates, having been duly admitted by St. Peter. God walks by, and whispers, Who is that?

That's Bill Martino, Lord, Peter whispers back, embarrassed. Don't you remember?.

No, no, I know who Uncle Bill is, of course- but who's that guy with Rusty?

John
Click to expand...

Rep points for you on that one John! My favorite so far.

Regards,

Norm
 
Thanks for taking the spirit of this thing the way it was intended...

you guys are a Hilarious bunch....I gotta say...

Anybody else wanna pile on?

Shane
 
I too am not much of one for coming up with jokes, but I definitely feel our two friends wouldn't be offended at all, as has been said, but would prefer us smiling.

Uncle Bill told us many times that he didn't want any tears shed on his behalf. Obviously, we haven't followed on that completely(least, I know I sure haven't), but think he's looking down and smiling at this.

Some more if anyone's got 'em. :)
 
philthygeezer said:
WKWJB? :confused:
Click to expand...
It took me about 10 minutes to figure this out! Very good!



Spectre said:
So, Bill Martino, Rusty Slate, and Pope John Paul 2 are passing through the Pearly Gates, having been duly admitted by St. Peter. God walks by, and whispers, Who is that?

That's Bill Martino, Lord, Peter whispers back, embarrassed. Don't you remember?

No, no, I know who Uncle Bill is, of course- but who's that guy with Rusty?
Click to expand...
Very good! Terse, and a great punchline.

I'm out of my league.
 
Not for those faint of heart - you have been warned; if you're easily offended please skip this post. I heard this one looooong time ago and it seems fitting for the characters that y'all describe who I never got to know well enough :( Can't claim the authorship for this one.





















On a hot sunny day Rusty walks into Cantina and notices a dog licking his balls in the corner. He turns to barkeep and says, "'Heh, 'wish I could do that.".

Barkeeper (= guess who :rolleyes: ) replies: "You better try petting him first."


R.I.P. Uncle Bill and Rusty.

*edited to add* I sure hope nobody gets it wrong - explaining jokes to others kills their purpose but it's UB's witts in replies this one is all about, y'know ? :) I'd hate to see a misunderstanding ruin it.
 
EWWWWWWW! :barf:

Ok...I admit it...I laughed....but it was severely disturbing! :eek:

Shane

I thingk spectre has an edge so far..
 
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