Please help me survive my wedding (stage fright)

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myplea

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To cut the long story short. My wedding is in 10 days.
I have a history of stage fright. As soon as I find myself in the spot light in front of people, My heart starts racing, sweating, shaking, MY FACE starts twitching.

My fear is that It will be a night to remember (the wrong way) If I look pathetic, I will let my wife to be down and my family and friends.

I have to cut a cake in front of people and put the ring and necklace on her neck.


Is there anything that I can take to calm me down that night? (No alcohol)

thanks
 
Go to the health food store that sells vitamins, herbs and stuff and ask for a herb called Kava Kava. Read up on it. But its a natural tranq.
Don't take to much and watch mixing it with alcohol.
Also bring a small bottle of asprins. For the headache you might get.

Good luck
 
Just think of the nerves you will have when you divorce her 20 years later...the hilariaty of that thought should calm you down...Seriously..Just remember its a special day for you and your lady..if you drop the necklace or something like that big deal..its your and her day..the rest are just there because they care..no big deal. I got married with my wife and I and about a thousand of my mother in laws closest friends....lots of things went wrong..nothing serious..all funny..

try and enjoy the day..
 
You might try what I did, block the entire event from your mind until the minute before.

Good Luck with that,
-Bob
 
Remember everybody there will be on your side. If you drop the ring they will laugh with you, not at you. It will become a pleasant tale to pass on to future generations -- "Did you know your grandfather Myplea dropped the ring at his wedding? Yes, and it rolled away from him and he was chasing it down the aisle and then everybody started chasing it and then a flower girl got it and she didn't want to give it up and they almost had to cancel the wedding for lack of a ring, but then your grandmother promised the girl a Tic Tac if she would give up the ring so your grandmother could get married -- what's a Tic Tac? It's a kind of candy we used to have back in the olden days. You know in those days we didn't have any hovercraft to take us to school -- we had to walk 5 miles to school every day, and five miles back, uphill both ways, rain or shine or blizzard or tornado, and ..."

See, the story keeps going on and on and pretty soon your grandchildren will have forgotten all about your dropping the ring; they'll be more interested in the candy the flower girl got for giving it up, and how people got around with no hovercraft, and all kinds of other stories about the olden days which will be more interesting than the time you dropped the ring.
 
Besides being a picky guy , one of the main reasons I am not married is because I'm too chicken to do it , the mere act of getting married in front of a hundred or so people frightens the heck out of me. :eek:

In other words you have my sympathies.

I think you should just try to remember that most of the people attending are there to watch you make a fool of yourself and to laugh at your antics for years to come.

From here on out those people will start conversations with you , with
" dude remember *chuckle* your wedding day *chuckle* when you dropped... *tears of laughter*"

:D

Ok , sorry for having fun at your expense , hopefully this made you laugh !!

Remember nobody is there to think your a dope , they are your family and friends , there to share the love.....and the sinlge guys will be there to hopefully get lucky. :D :thumbup:
 
1 - act relaxed and content; people will then think you are relaxed and content, which will make you relaxed and content. This actually works, and is one of my tried and true methods of handling such situations.

2 - if there are any snafus, just laugh at them; you are afraid of being embarrassed, and if you laugh at the inevitable snafus rather than being embarrased, you have nothing to be afraid of (i.e., you have no fear of being embarrassed). Its somewhat related to #1.

cheers
 
Cougar Allen said:
Remember everybody there will be on your side. If you drop the ring they will laugh with you, not at you. It will become a pleasant tale to pass on to future generations -- "Did you know your grandfather Myplea dropped the ring at his wedding?
Click to expand...

Exactly. This is not an audience of NY Times theater critics. These are your friends and they've come to celebrate this day with you. With the single exception of either bride or groom backing out, there's not much that can damage the day. Let your bride know that you're a bit nervous about the necklace and the ring and such and she'll help you with it. Let the minister know too. He's doubtlessly done a few of these and he can be there to whisper a que or something if you forget.

Have the caterer pre-cut that first slice of cake so that all you have to do is lift it out. The caterer can take over from there and serve the rest. What are you paying them for anyway?

The wedding is going to be fine, and so are you.

So, what knife will you be carrying for the big day?
 
Yeah, talk to the minister. He is a pro; he's worked with nervous grooms before and he knows exactly how to cover for you. As long as you don't run screaming out the door, and every time you trip over your shoelaces and fall down you get up again, he can handle it. Don't take my word for it, though, talk to him about it and let him explain it to you. That will build your confidence.
 
Just remember that no one will be looking at you. It's the bride's big day and everyone will be watching her. You're only there because you have to be, so if ya get nervous, look at her... It's her spotlight and everyone else will be looking at her too.
 
Don't forget, you will have a rehersal before hand to help everyone know how it will unfold on the big day. Not to mention, as was already mentioned, the minister dude will lead along the way for any parts you need to actually do anything (most ceremonies require very little from the groom).

Also, unless you were raised by wolves, you have witnessed the wedding ceremoney hundreds of times on TV, movies, and in real life. It is all imprinted on your brain whether you know it or not.

Also, there is never a "perfect" wedding. There is always little quirks that occur. You just smile and be happy you found somebody worth spending your life with. :)

Odd things happen at all weddings: I had a brother's outdoor wedding where they had a little candle ceremony, one of them dropped a candle or match that almost became a large brush fire; and the bride's dress almost caught fire. Had another's brothers wedding were an idiot fat slob cousin came wearing jean shorts and a t-shirt that said, "bite me" on it.

The point is you are there with friends and family to celebrate. Hopefully you only have to do this celebration once in your life. Try to enjoy it. Savor it for what it is don't fear it. :)
 
Don't worry about it. They are your friends, and family, otherwise, they wouldn't have been invited, right?

If that doesn't help, use a trick folks who take a public speaking course are taught to do: just imagine that everybody in the "audience" is naked. Of course, if your mom and dad will be there, that might be a scary thought...

Or, just do what every bachelor does--get rip roaring drunk during the bachelor party. The horrible hangover you have the day of your wedding will make you forget all about your stage fright.
 
Word of advice, don't get drunk the night of your rehearsal. They might tell you something you need to remember.
 
Don't forget to invite all of your ex-girlfriends/ex-wives to your wedding and make sure that they are drunk and horny...That should take your mind off of being nervous.:D.:D.
 
bfd- as long as your privates are covered why worry?

just look down and if your pants are on and the zipper is in the upright position-your all set-

dont drink-the last thing you want to do is upchuck stale booze and food on the bride during her wedding-they have a tendancy to get a bit miffed when that happens
 
Few weddings go perfectly as planned. If something goes awry, just smile and give a little laugh, then roll with it and keep going. "Improvise, adapt, and overcome."

I'd advise not to get drunk the night before. Get a good night's sleep. Be sure to eat something. Don't drink alcohol before the ceremony.

Just remember this - this is your Bride's day. If you find yourself getting nervous, just concentrate on her. Listen to the words being spoken, but concentrate on her. Help make her day special.

Also - when you're standing up front, DO NOT LOCK YOUR KNEES. See those videos of wedding party members passing out? That's why.

Good luck!
 
Do what I did and stop off in Reno for a quickie wedding in a cheap wedding chapel that looks like a low-rent funeral home. We'll be celebrating our 23rd anniversary this year.

It may be a little harder to get to Reno from England, but I still strongly recommend this course of action.
 
Just be nervous, I was. Hopefully your new wife understands and stands by your side. I assume you are younger and this is new territory. Ever notice 'older' folks seem ornery and just wired up a little different. It'll happen to you, in time you flat won't care about these types of things. This should just be the start of truly important things and times.
Congrats, Craig
 
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