Psyop wins!! Giveaway - The Greatest Story Ever Told...Part ll

Jonny1280

Jonny1280

Tridents up!
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Jan 5, 2012
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Well, I'm close enough to 2000 posts...let's give some stuff away!
It will require a bit of creativity on your part though....

First off, big thanks to Spark for making Bladeforums such a cool place!
Another huge thanks to Ethan, Bladite, Moose, The Bisquit, and all the Beckerheads and members for making the BK&T subforum so awesome!


The winner of this giveaway will receive the following:

- a BK&T Ka-Bar patch
- a velcro Beckerheads patch
- a new White Box stove (once owned by Tradewater. *added value)
- a new BK&T BK13 Remora


This giveaway is open to Beckerheads only.
I'll ship overseas if need be(if you'll cover shipping.), and under 18 is O.K. as long as I have your parents permission.

*Official Rules for your Giveaway Entry*

This giveaway is going to be similar to my last GAW. It will involve some creative writing.
Last time we all participated in writing a story.
- Whoever posts next will continue the story. And so on, and so on.
- Try to write at least 1 paragraph but please keep your post under 3 paragraphs.
- Your one and only post will be your entry.
- Your one post needs to have the Username of at least one Beckerhead not previously mentioned.
- It could be funny, serious, adventurous, snarky, or completely random...it's all up to you.
- You just have to make sure that the start of your post is a continuation of the previous post.
- It probably doesn't need to be said, but let's keep it PG-13 please.
- NO CHATTING.

I'll pick the winner using a random number generator from random.org
The giveaway will run until June 14th.(or until interest dies down.)
Someone can open a "giveaway chat thread" if you want, but NO CHATTING HERE.
Please feel free to participate whether you would like to recieve the prizes or not.
You can always PM or email me if you have questions or comments.
Here's a link to the first GAW thread: http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/showthread.php/1011616-999th-post-Giveaway-*Winner-Chosen*-Uncle-Malice









 
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Let's get this thing started!



One day a young man was walking through Barlow. He had just been chased off of a Beckerhead's lawn. So needless to say he was scared, tired, and equally bewildered by the image of Tradewater running behind him in nothing but his bath robe and waving a de-ramped, choiled BK9 in one hand and chugging a Budweiser Select 55 with the other. That image would go on to haunt the young man until he was well into adulthood. The young mans name was....
 
The young mans name was Brian (kymedic45) he was a young lad to say the least! While running for his life he began to ponder why this Tradewater would chase him off of his lawn? What did he do wrong? Was there something special about this particular yard?? Why was it covered so much?? And this huge beast of metal that the drunk man possessed it was so dull and cold looking dripping with beer stains and gooey cookie crumbles what was so magical about it??
 
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All Brian knew is that he must now have this beast of a blade that the crazed drunk man possessed or he would never be able to go on in life being a real man and he would be made fun of by Travis! Ever since that fateful night he wakes up in a cold sweat wondering why trade water was wearing a pink bathrobe with matching pink bunny slippers? Was this what a real man does? Was everyone right do real men wear pink?
 
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Well yes, real men do wear pink - Trade just kind of sets the pace for us. After he successfully eluded the first attack by Trade he doubled back through the deep woods to get another look and discovered that not only did Trade have a BK9 but he also had an M18 from TMHunt as his backup. At that point he fainted and shortly later as he awoke, he gazed upward and with his still foggy vision saw...
 
He saw it. There was a glorius BK9 stuck almost to the hilt in a gaint oak tree. He didn't know where he was, these were not the woods he was just fleeing for his life in. He slowly started to approach the 9 lodged in the tree...
 
when he heard a booming voice as his hand touched the handle of the bk9 it was coming from a half man half moose!!! it said boy before you pull the knife from the tree you must face the test of steel and prove too the mighty uncle ethan that you are worthy. the boy said what must i do too be worthy of wielding this fine piece of steel the odd creature said first you must..............
 
...Ya'll must travel a spell, to the far Black Mountain of Ten' es' see. There you gotta hunt down and destroy the most bitter enemy of my kind, the Cumberland Bandersnatch. Bring me its head, and ya'll will have your prize. But take care--the Bandersnatch is protected by some real dangerous guardians, the Eseerats, who seek to use its knowledge of the long forgotten Snake People to build their new empire, conquering powerful nations and peoples, and bringing about the downfall of Barlow, this most hallowed, sacred ground. Ya'll must find another to assist you in this quest. I recommend The Warrior. He's got fists the size of cannonballs. He might just be able to pull the head right off that ol' Bandersnatch for ya."

Brian quailed before the weremoose shaman at the thought of taking on such a dangerous quest. But he thought about his family, his home, and this sacred ground where he stood, and steeled his resolve. "Yes," he told the weremoose. "I'll do as you've asked, I swear it. I will bring you the head of the Cumberland Bandersnatch, or die in the trying. Now...where did I park my truck? That way, right? Oh, that way. Gotcha, thanks."
 
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However, it was not in that direction. Poor Brian got lost in the woods. It was a giant forest. A whole world of trees and shrubberies. Amazed by the vastness of the area that streched before him, he spoke the famous words: "From now on, this area shall be known as the world of woods. This, is WorldWood." Because he had not eaten for quite a while, he had scavenged some mushrooms without a lot of knowledge on local flora and fauna. The mushrooms he ate might explain the visions he had and the words he spoke. After resting for a bit and drinking some water from a small stream he found, he continued his journey. Suddenly, at an open spot in the World of Woods, Brian felt the blood drain away from his head. He was sure he was extremely pale, he screamed... He had stumbled upon the remains of what once was a living human being. The only thing that remained now were bones, whitened by the sun, and...
 
a rusted away Esee Junglas he poked around at the bones and discovered a name patch that said Flexxx..........but why was there a rusty old Junglas and no sheath???? So Brian was even more bewildered now and was terribly tired. He was starting to see things that may not be real. Then all of a sudden a giant bearded viking named Erik came skipping out of the woods carrying a murse with a pink anvil in it.......................................
 
Eric pulled the anvil out of the murse, along with a matching pink hammer and 2 feet of 1095. He waved his hands, and fire appeared before them both. Placing the now glowing iron on the anvil, he began to pound with the hammer and chant a happy little tune.
 
Brian just stood dumbfounded, pulling his chartreuse thong from out of his crack. Spell bound, as Eric began to forge a blade that seemingly appeared
out of thin air! What he couldn't believe though, were the words that Eric was singing. "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner!"
 
Erik continued hammering, quenching, and tempering until he had completed the blade, and he presented it to Brian.

"This is not the BK-9 you seek, but with this blade you shall slay the Cumberland Bandersnatch in the Black Mountain of Tennessee."

Brian took the knife. It was an expertly made blade, hefty yet light, well balanced with a clipped point and and a keen edge. Brian marveled at the wondrous knife, especially noting that it did not have an accursed, loathsome finger choil marring its exquisite profile with an entirely unnecessary abomination of a design feature. The handle was of well contoured G10 that appeared the brightest shade of blaze orange to its owner, but, to any other eyes, it was Multicam. Upon the blade was etched in glowing runes a single word, "VORPAL".

"What does Vorpal mean?" asked Brian.

"It's an acronym," answered Erik proudly, "It means Vic Forged This Blade. V O R P A L. Get it?"

"That doesn't really add up," answered Brian.

"Oh? Well, I never was very good at spelling." And suddenly Erik left, just as he had come, skipping and still singing promotional ditties about processed meat products.

Now armed, Brian was determined to complete his quest. He found The Warrior and convinced him to help. Then they simply walked into Tennessee.

Before they could even begin their search for the Cumberland Bandersnatch, it found them.

Out it leaped with thunderous silence. It's wings flapped furiously in rapid stillness. It snapped at Brian with frumious jaws and snatched at him with saverderous claws. It gupped and flolloped and willomied. Brian and The Warrior were taken completely by surprise at this savage attack from this terrifying attacker. Brian brought forth the Vorpal blade and thrust it blindly at the Cumberland Bandersnatch. The blade forged by Erik bit deep into the chest of the Cumberland Bandersnatch, but it did not die. It scrailed loudly and lurped wildly, wrenching the knife from Brian's fingers, and took off into the darkness taking the blade with it. Neither were ever seen again.

Brian had survived an attack by the Cumberland Bandersnatch, indeed had even wounded it, but he now had no weapon and no bandersnatch head to bring back to the Moose. He had failed, it seemed.

"Hey," said the Warrior, "I could just GIMP a picture of its head. That'll be good enough to fool Moose."
 
However, in order for The Warrior to use his black magics on the mystical box known as a "computer" they first had to find one for him to use. Seeking the purveyor of electronic goods, they sought out Arkanian who, like his forebears, was quite well versed in the mystical items from the far East. Thus a new journey began, into the fearsome jungle known as "New York", where they were to encounter all manner of horrors and frightening creatures as this was a dark, terrifying place, full of liberals, restrictive laws, and overzealous constabulary, but filled with wonder and amazement if you knew where to look...
 
But it was no bump, it was a delirious Psyop. Coming up out from a manhole, he dragged them down while muttering about a motorcycle and his knee and other strange things. He lead the bewildered Brian and Warrior deep into the sewers where they was a cavern full of beckerheads and 3 precenters, crafting the “SUPER big gulp” to deliver to Bloombergs front door. Psyop brought them into a dark room with a pasty man surrounded by these “computers" his name was......
 
Bladite.

Living free or dying, Bladite was determined to distribute the wisdom, knowledge and know-how to undermine Bloomberg's plans to convert the United States into France. How would he achieve such a daring mission? Bladite had learned from his uncle Ben (not the rice), (No not with great power comes great responsibility), (Yes, the kite, key and lightning dude) that information would rule them all (or was that a ring?). Anyhow, I digress. So Bladite, armed with a grid array of 8088's had developed a new recipe for a higher powered, higher fructose, more carbonated, more caffeinated beverage to thwart the Sith Lord, Bloomberg. While attempting to print out the recipe, the printer broke and Bladite was fresh out of paper and ink. Quickly improvising, Bladite punched Psyop in the face, pulled his teeth out and used them to chisel into stone. While Psyop was trying to figure out why his mouth felt different, The Warrior offered up his neck knife, a BK9, and ripped down a tree in which to carve the recipe into. Mission complete!

With the recipe carving in hand....
 
Psyop you win!!
Send me your shipping address please. Along with a copy of your I.D., Social Security card and Birth Certificate. :D
Thanks to all who participated!




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