question...

[starlight]

Okay, let's face it. Probably close to 90% of the people reading this are men. I was hoping those of you who are engaged or in a relationship (with a woman) could answer these questions.

Does your wife or significant other train? Was she training or interested in training when you first met her? If she does not train, what are her reasons for not training? Have you tried to get her to train? If she does train, are you her primary teacher? If not, is this because she needed to train with someone who was more objective, or because you had trouble teaching her? Or any other reason? Hmmm, what else... Who do you think is more likely to be assaulted? (Okay, so that last one is a loaded question.)

 

[guromkb]

Okay, let's face it. Probably close to 90% of the people reading this are men. I was hoping those of you who are engaged or in a relationship (with a woman) could answer these questions.

Does your wife or significant other train? Was she training or interested in training when you first met her? If she does not train, what are her reasons for not training? Have you tried to get her to train? If she does train, are you her primary teacher? If not, is this because she needed to train with someone who was more objective, or because you had trouble teaching her? Or any other reason? Hmmm, what else... Who do you think is more likely to be assaulted? (Okay, so that last one is a loaded question.)

1. Does my wife train? Sometimes
2. Was she interested in training when we met? Nope
3. Her reasons not to train? She says I am too agressive and mean..lol
4. Have I tried to get her to train? God yes
5. If she does train am I her primary teacher? Hell yes..won't let her train at a Mcdojo..PERIOD!
6. Who do I think is going to get assaulted? Well being 6'4" 280+ lbs with tattoo's a beard longer hair etc. Id have to say her.. she is 5'3" 125 filipina who is a sdocile and sweet as a kitten.


What I teacher her are simple things,, awareness, gross motor movements, pakal knife, pepper spray applications, and off course firearms...which she gravitates to well...Kind of spooky with a knife as well.

Michael B

 

[Joel Stave]

1. yes, for about 1.5 years now.
2. No. Then after 12.5 years of marriage, one day she said she'd like to try training. (her dance instructor had moved away and I was bugging her to get some regular exercise). her reason for not training was that she didn't like to get hit.
3. I never tried to get her to train. I'd show her little things now and then, but that was all.
4. I am not her instructor -- we have the same instructor. There are several reasons I'm not her main instructor, the main one being that our instructor is just a better martial artist than me. Also, I can't seem to really push her -- I mean I'd go somewhat slow/light against 5' woman with only 1.5 years experience, but I wouldn't take it as easy as I do with my wife. I just can seem to make myself go harder against her -- even though the special treatment annoys the crap out of her.
5. Who's more likely to get assaulted? She's a 5' 0" woman. 'nuff said.


Now, a question for you: why do you ask?

 

[starlight]

Thank you Joel and Michael for answering. The short answer to your question is that the reason I am asking is because I have noticed that many men I know who train have never had to use their skills, and when I talk to their wives or girlfriends, these women have MANY more stories of being stalked, followed, harassed or assaulted. And yet they don't train. I am trying to get a better idea of why this happens.

Yael

 

[tellner]

Okay, let's face it. Probably close to 90% of the people reading this are men. I was hoping those of you who are engaged or in a relationship (with a woman) could answer these questions.

Does your wife or significant other train? Was she training or interested in training when you first met her? If she does not train, what are her reasons for not training? Have you tried to get her to train? If she does train, are you her primary teacher? If not, is this because she needed to train with someone who was more objective, or because you had trouble teaching her? Or any other reason? Hmmm, what else... Who do you think is more likely to be assaulted? (Okay, so that last one is a loaded question.)

My wife trains. She was interested before she met me but only started a little after when she went to Minneapolis for graduate school. Ever since she came back we have been training with the same teachers.

I've never been her teacher. In general (there are exceptions) it's a bad idea to date your students. "Bad idea" as in "It's a bad idea to fornicate with your mother, sniff powdered asbestos or microwave live kittens".

 

[starlight]

In massage therapy, acupuncture, etc., the rule of thumb is that it is okay to date a client if you were dating BEFORE they came to you for treatment. It is also okay to date a client if they stop receiving treatment (or paying for treatment) once you start dating. Breaking the rule creates the appearance that you are using your practice to get dates. I would imagine this would be the same in class. I can't really see the harm though in showing someone you're with a few tricks, as long as you are willing to send them to a teacher they may be more receptive to if it doesn't work out...

I've never been her teacher. In general (there are exceptions) it's a bad idea to date your students. "Bad idea" as in "It's a bad idea to fornicate with your mother, sniff powdered asbestos or microwave live kittens".

 

[Two Sword]

I train my wife in use of the blade. It was very hard to get her motivated. She looked at training like a cool way to exercise. Basically I was forcing her to train and train her very hard.

I would give her the talks of how in a real situation nobody will help (even if there are people around), the cops are never there and there is always more than one attacker. Words from my own experiences....


One day she was attacekd by 2 men..middle of time square NYC...5:30 pm middel of rush hour hundreds of people watching. nobody helped...

Not one LEO in sight...

Two male attackers


She managed to fight them off with only a few punches to her face...



This happened in 2002..she is very motivated when she trains now.....

 

[RenegadeMonk]

It's good to hear that she made it home intact and safe Guro Carl. It's sad to say that many women have the "it'll never happen to me" attitude. They don't get any real motivation to train until the fecal matter hits the rotating blades at full speed.

I've been training my girlfriend for the last year or so. I tend to keep her training blade-based. We use a lot footwork and Pikal knife work. I feel that Pikal work is more specific to an assault towards a woman: close-range, lots of grabbing, struggling. She's a big fan of the pattern drills, although I do make it clear to her that she shouldnt get stuck in those drills and training in them to the point where she negates drills involving spontaneous action and resistance from an opponent(s). Right now, she too sees it as just another workout...but I am trying to emphasize to her the fact that there is much more and that it is very serious stuff.

I'm planning to conduct a Women's Knife seminar at my university. The female members of our Martial Arts Club felt they needed something more specific to their needs. I plan to include a lot of escape and evasion tactics using footwork drills as well.

 

[starlight]

My best friend asked me about WSD and seemed somewhat interested, but got really annoyed when I kept asking her what the three nearest exits were interspersed into daily conversation.

She said me she's only interested in empty hand and doesn't really want to practice much. So I said, "then die!" Just kidding. I told her we could at least work on physical home security, pre-incident indicators, situational awareness, verbal boundary setting, de-escalation, running... I don't know if it'll help but I guess it can't hurt...

y